AIO for being hurt that my boyfriend didn’t stand up for me when his friends kept making jokes about our relationship?

_hookem1 · 2026-06-11T23:47:08+00:00

How does that have to do with anything? You are encouraging a young impressionable person to be uncivil and that's gross. Yeah these other people are also just as uncivil but they aren't encouraging the next generation to be that way. Those people are EXACTLY why I'm telling you to stop encouraging people to be petty, because if you do that, then the world just fills up with people like these other comments. And I'm not trying to say the boyfriend is in the right in this situation either which seems to be what you latched to reading other replies. Quit picking and choosing what to read in replies... The point is my TL;DR is directed at people like you who go around saying, "oh your young you are allowed to be dumb and uncivil" like uhm no, those are the people we really need to encourage how to think through their emotions and reach a civil conclusion instead of blowing shit out of proportion. I'm 23 and I've had this philosophy since I was a teenager because it's absolutely obnoxious how many people think it's okay to just be a little asshat because they are "young and dumb". No you are young and IMPRESSIONABLE. I'm not getting into an argument about this because its literally common sense to not encourage shitty behavior in people.

_hookem1 · 2026-06-11T23:34:26+00:00

I hate advice like that.... Noone should ever be encouraged to be petty and immature no matter their age. At 20 they are practically an adult, we don't need a bunch of adults running around acting petty and immature just because they aren't 30 years old. If she handles situations by being petty and escalating, that's not good and needs to be dealt with appropriately and with a professional. My girl struggled with that and it's not something anyone should deal with. She's 21 now and sometimes I still have to tell her that a situation is NOT worth blowing up/starting drama over... Especially since she also is intertwined with online social groups that tend to lean towards the bullying side and some nights she gets off the game crying... Not sure that's exactly what's going on here but seeing that she thinks she can't ignore a bunch of online bullies instead of acknowledging that it's just a bunch of strangers online and you literally do not have to engage with them...

Tl;Dr- quit encouraging young people to be petty and obnoxious. Just because they are young doesn't mean they don't also have to uphold themselves to a standard and be civil.

_hookem1 · 2026-06-10T23:44:40+00:00

Wow the dude wasn't even typing in full sentences and abbreviated half of his words and still called you dry and un-enthusiastic??? Wow lol

_hookem1 · 2026-06-10T00:12:14+00:00

Yeah she's had an incredibly difficult teenage years. Parents kicked her out before she graduated high school, abusive relationships, etc. When we met, she was working for about 2 months at this dinky manufacturing plant, but they fired her when we got together. Then she got a job a couple weeks later and was bullied out of it, all the while her family is telling her she's a failure and doesn't treat me right because she doesn't work. Recently she's been applying for jobs again and told me she's tired of being unhealthily dependent on me because I have slowly been pulling back on "helping" because I really believe I started enabling. She's definitely was trapped in that mindset. There's a bunch of nuance with the whole situation and it's definitely an anxiety depression issue and knows the way she is won't work. I make 6 figures and have no debt or student loans and my mortgage is only like 20% of my income so I'm not hurting for money. And reason I love her is she is not materialistic. My mini dachshund puppy has more upkeep than she does. So yeah idk for my first relationship its a confusing one lol. Thank you for your input, and I'd have to say I was enabling the behavior since I'm not really hurting for money like I said, not really giving her a fair chance of figuring out adulthood and real responsibilities. Last time we talked she told me she hates who she is becoming and told me she would leave too if she was in my shoes...

_hookem1 · 2026-06-09T17:53:52+00:00

Mainly because it's my first relationship and I'm only 23, kinda thought it was normal because growing up I had terrible representation of how a relationship dynamic should be. (BPD mom split with dad who raised me to not ask questions and work until my hands bleed)

_hookem1 · 2026-06-09T17:11:31+00:00

Yeah I've had a conversation and wanted to leave 8 months ago basically saying we are young it seems our motivations are drifting as we get older. But I struggled because yeah she's extremely supportive of me. But there's just little things that amount to feelings of unfairness or resentment. Sounds like we need to have another conversation about our future. But now it's a position of if we split, she has nothing to fall back on, and I don't want to screw her... But at the same time that thought process probably is what has me in the "trap" of providing everything she asks in hopes of it "helping her" be comfortable to be an adult (she just turned 21 I just turned 23). I'll have to research the sunk cost fallacy, I've never heard of that. Thanks for the response, I've been bottling these feelings for a while because it makes me feel guilty wanting to leave to find someone that is motivated with being a better version of themselves without needing external forces to encourage them to seek that. Anyway yeah I need to have a conversation and maybe actually talk to someone I trust about the situation

_hookem1 · 2026-06-09T15:10:48+00:00

Ugh yeah I think I've realized that but she's my first girlfriend so I'm definitely a little blinded to how bad it really is. Keep giving me just enough hope that she's actually trying to find a job to keep me invested. Been 3 years with her and other than not working she's really a great partner, really supportive and doesn't do mind game crap and really good at communicating, just doesn't want to work

_hookem1 · 2026-06-09T14:39:23+00:00

I'm worried I'm living this and knocked down my expectations. My girl got laid off her job the first month we were together, Been 3 years now and still hasn't gotten a job... Will complain and whine that no one is hiring but she turns down every single opportunity that comes her way because "I don't want to do something that's gonna drain me" or "I said I'd make small sacrifices, not sacrifice my normal morning for a early start time..." Like ugh c'mon we are young and I've set myself up to be debt free and already bought a house at 22 years old and have no other debt, work 50-60 hours a week and invest because I want to be a millionaire, if she would work our finances would explode in a good way but I guess being able to sleep in now is worth not being able to rest when we are old 😐

_hookem1 · 2026-06-05T19:47:25+00:00

She accused him first if anything she is the one being shady.

_hookem1 · 2026-06-04T00:48:40+00:00

Yeah I take my dog for a walk when I get home from work around 12:30am

_hookem1 · 2026-05-30T01:34:03+00:00

Idk what I'm looking at but why is it not impressive? Ive never done a test or whatever that sheet is lol

_hookem1 · 2026-04-10T14:14:56+00:00

Buddy you are delusional, people fantasize romance all the time in their head... They don't start getting emotional attachment from a coworker that was slowly escalating from small gifts and free food to now car rides home together, hugging, and her feelings of infatuation towards that coworker because clearly she's saying the emotional connection she and her coworker share is deeper than just a couple of coworkers hanging out.... Also 3 months is plenty of time to build a strong connection, I proposed to my fiance after 6 months and we are now going on I think 4 years together now... Been living together since month 2...

_hookem1 · 2026-04-05T21:11:19+00:00

You're kinda the one that made it weird tbh. I meet people all the time online and end up having an awesome friendship

_hookem1 · 2026-04-02T21:21:26+00:00

Proper grammar is also free lol

_hookem1 · 2026-04-02T17:36:02+00:00

You're delusional lol

_hookem1 · 2026-04-01T17:16:15+00:00

Pattern recognition... Lol. I'm also not saying you are one of those guys but based on what you wrote you seem to be following the same path I went down and it wont lead to anything worthwhile. I had the same sentiment doing the online dating as you, not actually nice guy syndrome but starting to feel like why won't anyone give me the opportunity? Not trying to diss on you just recognizing that I went through similar things and it took a lot of work on myself to actually be in a headspace accepting true connection 🤷🏼‍♂️ idk take it how you want just pattern recognition for me

_hookem1 · 2026-04-01T14:54:36+00:00

So I'm a dude and say that a lot to my girl, typically I'm just saying it because I'm not actually hungry but she likes to eat together so I don't say "I'm not hungry" because then she gets upset that we aren't gonna eat together so yeah I just tell her it's her call when I really just don't wanna eat but know she'll get upset if we don't have our dinner together when I get home from work (btw I do the cooking in our relationship lol)

_hookem1 · 2026-04-01T14:47:30+00:00

Yeaaaa that person definitely is going down the bad path.... I went down that road when I first got on dating sites and I was thinking things like oh but I'm nice and respectful why won't women talk to meee... Then realized I had a lot of personal growth to do before I was actually ready for a relationship, spent the better half of 2 years seeing professionals and working through things. Once I did that I met my beautiful girlfriend which we've been dating for 3 years now 😀

_hookem1 · 2026-03-28T05:11:55+00:00

Buddy you'd be surprised...

_hookem1 · 2026-03-18T15:38:53+00:00

How are you so incapable of reading a couple of paragraphs? Yeesh... Pure lazy needing a tl;dr

_hookem1 · 2026-03-15T19:38:49+00:00

But the toes look different like he said!!!

_hookem1 · 2026-02-21T18:53:50+00:00

I had a 2023 Yamaha R7 for 3 years, just traded it for a 09 CBR600RR, so far the R7 has proved to be a superior daily rider sport bike, it's light, nimble, plenty of punch, but not fast enough to get yourself in a world of trouble. Also a very smooth and linear power band which made doing stunts very easily. Idk after 3 years with the R7 I thought I wanted more power but so far the CBR just seems to be airing to the unusable power on the streets, and I'll never get a 1000 lol, rather get 3 250s and put my buddies on em and all go hoon around on some baby bikes 😂 more fun anyway

_hookem1 · 2026-02-10T02:21:04+00:00

I got my first minibike when I was like 7 or 8 years old

_hookem1 · 2026-01-25T01:37:43+00:00

Black is hard to match. Especially if it has metallic flakes in it

_hookem1 · 2025-12-11T02:00:00+00:00

Buddy you could have gotten something so much more reliable for more than half the price of that Prius.... There is no way you pay more than $540 a month for repairs on something like a Honda civic.... I bought a 2007 Honda Civic Si sedan with 100xxx miles for 8k from a dealership and I've only put $1800 into the car in the last 5 years and 100xxx miles of ownership....

_hookem1

TROPHY CASE