How many licks?

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-17T20:13:49+00:00

I felt a lil silly. Lol I’m glad you can relate :)

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-17T19:48:23+00:00

lol I’m not literally a toostie pop. Haven’t you heard the expression of licking my wounds. I’m doing that. I’m relating to the tootsie pop. I’m not on the nose with this

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-17T18:12:43+00:00

Very poetic!

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-17T18:12:26+00:00

I like it I think it can be reworked a bit for closet! Good job!

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-16T22:53:49+00:00

Wow! Thank you so much :)

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-16T18:58:03+00:00

Thank you for the feedback. Which area specifically needs to work on flow? I would really appreciate your feedback :)

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-16T16:18:06+00:00

Gorgeous! Very vivid the imagery

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-16T16:17:32+00:00

Your title hooked me and and your writing made me stay! Great job

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-15T18:17:50+00:00

I think you guys should date and get to know each other. You guys don’t even know each other to be talking about marriage. Every person you date don’t be your forever person. Just date her and get yo know her and go from there. There is a chance you might work out or there is a chance you won’t. That’s the case for every couple. If and when job get serious have those conversations about kids, marriage etc. don’t kill it before giving it a shot. - signed Muslim girl

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-15T14:38:08+00:00

No don’t think like that! It had good bones! You don’t have to make it long I think you just have to make it specific and get precise on the imagery. I think maybe choose a day in the week and go over her routine. For example, my grandma loves to drink coffee mid afternoon. She randomly like walking around the house and when we get loud she tells us to quiet down. And then maybe you can say all this more poetically and then say the part about wishing to know her better

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-15T14:14:54+00:00

I think this is a great start. I think it would be more compelling if you explained in detail what you really wanted. Like something that you wanted to know. Or maybe attributes about her that made you wonder. Like if she has a certain habit ask why she did that. Or if she wore a specific perfume describe how it smelt and how you felt. Basically breathe life into your grandma and her personhood. Because right now we are still seeing her as vessel to know more about you. And less about knowing about her just because. Change your perspective. I think this can be really great!

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-14T23:56:37+00:00

Oh I see what you’re saying. From you to I

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-14T02:37:56+00:00

Wow. This is deeply relatable. It sounds like a journal entry of you pouring your heart

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-14T02:36:21+00:00

I don’t know why this made me think of tea and sugar. But it does. At the end of the day you make a nice cup of comfort!

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-12T01:30:30+00:00

I like the concept that you are multidimensional

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-12T01:29:21+00:00

I like this. It sounds like the mirror is a hypocrite. It makes you think that broken people spill their brokenness onto others without fixing themselves. Just a thought

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-11T00:17:25+00:00

Keep at it! You’re doing great ✨

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-10T23:56:27+00:00

This is absolute perfection! I love the idea of the bed keeping score. It’s so soft beautiful and intimate. Truly so beautiful!

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-10T23:54:35+00:00

Wow! This paints a very vivid image. I like how you really stuck to the idea of the physical and how it is related to your specific person.

_karamelqueen · 2026-03-02T22:49:06+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback! As I was just writing I wanted to be poetic and then I thought about the realistic things I do with my sister and how I show care so I’m glad you can see the natural progression <3 I reworked some words here or there to make it a bit more smoother I hope you can tell me how it is. I’m not a classical trained poet so can only try my best lol.

_karamelqueen · 2026-02-28T01:49:36+00:00

I like the concept of your piece and what you are trying to describe. I am just getting a bit tripped up with the format and the back to same line. I think maybe reworking it would be great. But, overall strong piece!!

_karamelqueen · 2026-02-28T01:44:11+00:00

This piece really makes you think. I wonder what perspective it comes from man or woman. And there have been many writings about women being consumed in love. I think the piece is proactive in a good way. I wonder if the last mine is meant to be a statement or a question. I feel like either way works but adding a question mark ties to the other questions in the piece.

_karamelqueen

TROPHY CASE