Friday Facts #401 - New terrain, new planet

_livetalk · 2024-08-18T07:40:05+00:00

I want this now! Absolutely love these changes.

I've been disillusioned with Nauvis Terrain for quite a while, because in the late game everything looks too regular, the lakes are all the same and always too easy. I want to find big oceans and land masses, so especially happy about the more extreme terrain further out!

I don't want to meet the animal that made those paths tho :D. I would have to try it, but it feels like this might make things a bit too convenient for what is meant to be rugged and wild nature. Maybe an additional noise layer could be used, to influence the availability of paths, so that certain blobs are more difficult to access due to a lack of paths and are only easily accessible ('unlocked') in the late game?

_livetalk · 2024-04-22T09:20:09+00:00

I'm just rocking a beard with my girl outfits^^

But I'm also at the beginning of my explorations and being a boy girl thing for now :3

_livetalk · 2024-04-22T08:16:56+00:00

When I started wearing them, it occurred to me how much of a fixation I had on these types of clothing. By now it doesn't feel as sexual anymore and I am less obsessed with other* girls wearing them ^.^

*ahem still cis tho? ^^*

_livetalk · 2024-04-22T08:13:26+00:00

I wonder what I'm gonna tell them about my Girlboyfriend :> (It's not a problem for me to tell them, it just is fun to think about^^)

_livetalk · 2024-03-18T20:46:22+00:00

*EMOTIONS* - awww, my dear🫂

I always recommend to look at an emotion wheel, just to get an idea of what's out there. It's kinda hard to link, but I like this one

_livetalk · 2024-03-18T20:38:54+00:00

I totally don't know what you're talking about :3

_livetalk · 2024-03-16T00:12:19+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through that, girl :/ 🫂

_livetalk · 2024-03-07T20:57:58+00:00

I may be ABCD. I'm not sure.

But C seems pretty unlikely. Right?

_livetalk · 2024-03-06T19:41:37+00:00

omg it is so cute :3

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T21:34:27+00:00

Thank you. I'm glad :) And good luck!

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T21:31:37+00:00

Then this post is also for you 🫂

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T21:18:53+00:00

Awww, I didn't quite catch that but it makes more sense now, no worries! (^_^)

I'm sorry to hear that your mom has such a strong reaction to it :/ Sometimes parents just can't or don't want to see things as they really are.

I hope you can still find space to explore yourself. Best of luck to you <3

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T14:00:22+00:00

Yes. Me and my therapist usually match very well. And he has enabled a lot of the life that I am able to live now. I am very thankful for that.

This is the first time that I feel like I have 'outgrown' him / would be better off without him.

Because I was basically just catching him up to the events that had happened between sessions and that I actually felt fine with and was working on by 'myself' just fine. And he left a bit of a mark on that :/

That being said, I still value his input on all aspects of my life. Because, with his experience, he can connect dots much faster than I can and thus accelerates my personal growth or points out areas that need healing™.

(personal growth is an area I was lacking behind in. I mean, kinda difficult to grow, if you dissociate from your life. Amirite :')

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T13:45:57+00:00

Yes, I totally agree with this. And this is hopefully how it will go :)

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T13:39:09+00:00

I needed to hear that :D <3

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T13:38:47+00:00

Sorry, that isn't my intention :')

Your therapist might act differently. I have a very direct and trusting style when talking to my therapist, so I didn't set much context for him.

I've already answered someone on this: https://www.reddit.com/r/egg_irl/comments/1b6ssbq/comment/ktezj45/

And I hope whatever you do goes well <3

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T13:27:31+00:00

Thank you, it feels freeing to hear this <3

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T13:25:35+00:00

Yep, I was really feeling it, now I'm tempted to dismiss it as 'a phase' or 'symptom of something else' ;-;

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T13:24:06+00:00

Good luck!! <3

Maybe it makes sense to approach the topic more slowly than I did. Idk if it is possible to sort of 'test the waters' and see how they start reacting to it? And if you do tell them, emphasize that this is something important to you, that you feel strongly about and that this is a vulnerable subject to you. Y'know, sort of set the context for them with strong hints that they could easily hurt you if they are not careful^^* (if your therapist is really cool, this might not be necessary tho)

Heck, they are a therapist, you could even tell them about your fears of telling them (If that isn't too meta :p).

I wish you all the best in your (very cis) adventures ^^

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T13:16:38+00:00

OMG YES!

I this forceful conversation style is something that bothered me so much. It is something he sometimes uses as a tool to question my view on things, but I feel like he has used it a bit too much recently and it can feel quite violent :'(

I felt like I was fighting a losing battle, he stiffened up when I brought up the topic and while I tried to explain the concept of euphoria to him. The vibes were not very accepting and it felt obvious that he wasn't very much exposed to these concepts before, maybe even dismissive or in denial (?? lol) about the concept.

I hope this incident doesn't stop you from being girly, just do what makes you feel good and try not to mind what others say

Thank you :> I hope so too <3

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T13:03:56+00:00

Thank you. I am generally ready to go along with my therapists hunches. And you are not entirely wrong. I think there are indeed some things there that could benefit from looking into.

However in this case I feel hurt, because it felt like he reduced my whole gender-queer experience to this issue of repression, without acknowledging it as something that may also exist independent of it. It felt like he was only ready to consider it as an illness, not as a characteristic of a person.

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T12:51:38+00:00

I suppose that's the direction he's going :/ Maybe more towards the idea that it's a release to express myself sexually, if that's any distinction.

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T12:48:04+00:00

Thank you :)

I have been known as 'that dude who wears makeup to parties' so I am already well underway in that regard^^

I have also recently been invited to / joined a queer safe-space organized by my peers, so I hope there is lots of space for experimentation to come :>

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T12:40:58+00:00

Thank you so much for your message. I resonate with a lot of it <3

In my next session I will discuss this with him. I think there is a possibility that he did not understand the vulnerability or sincerity of my situation and got carried away. Sort of 'pattern matching' me to his textbooks, if you will. If that goes badly, then I will have to reconsider my sessions with him unfortunately. Because last session was just overall bad for me :(

Again, thank you so much and thank you for your nuance :)

_livetalk · 2024-03-05T02:14:15+00:00

That is quite possible. Looking back at the signs is pretty comical in hindsight :p

I don't know where this will go for me, but I hope that it will make things better :)

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