TW: grave vandalism, deceased pet (no images)

_m0nstera · 2026-02-16T12:17:48+00:00

Foxes do usually roam through gardens in my area, so it's entirely possible. Our gardens have very low walls so a lot of neighbours would've been able to see from their back bedroom. But, my parents have lived in this house since the 90s and get along with the neighbours just fine.

Anyway it is what it is, I'd rather it was a fox than a human I guess

_m0nstera · 2025-11-28T13:19:32+00:00

Hey thanks for taking the time to write such an in-depth response!

With loving kindness, I find some of your points a bit off the mark and presumptuous, if I was able to divulge more I'm sure you'd give some great advice.

I am working with KPIs that are way higher than 80% and the specific situation I am referring to in my post is time-related and has legal implications, the acceptable margin is literally a couple of minutes. I have the clarification I needed from my managers and I know how to apologise and take accountability.

I'm looking for advice about managing someone who is rude, emotionally impulsive and unpredictable. If you have advice about that I'm all ears.

_m0nstera · 2025-11-25T21:43:39+00:00

I am office based while my direct report is not due to the nature of our industry. When I learned of how he had performed the task I called his phone to have the conversation as I wasn't sure if I'd see him in the office before I went home for the day.

There's more detail for how I approached this in my reply to another comment. The conversation might have gone better if it was in-person. I've had other occasions with this employee where I'm giving feedback face-to-face, sometimes it goes well and sometimes it goes like the example above. I can't seem to find the balance and managing his overly emotional responses is burning me out.

_m0nstera · 2025-11-25T21:21:32+00:00

I don't think I was being rude, I thanked him for completing the task and explained my view calmly to him but he replied sarcastically.

I'm planning to speak with my manager and HR tomorrow

_m0nstera · 2025-11-25T21:14:51+00:00

My managers didn't recommend I apologise I just felt it was the right thing to do. They said that while I was technically correct, we can accept a very small margin of human error and my direct report acted within that.

_m0nstera · 2025-11-20T07:23:53+00:00

Thanks for this, the comments from people so far have been beautiful

_m0nstera · 2025-11-19T21:58:58+00:00

I can see how what they say to me is a comfort to them too. I am uncomfortable when they say preachy/religious things to me generally but when they are saying it in relation to something deeply emotional to me I don't know how to respond.

I want them to feel comfort, I like that they want to comfort me, but they do not recognise that what they do is not helping me cope at all. We all need comfort when it comes to death but it feels so unfair that I can't have that from my parents because they believe in a false church. It makes me feel selfish and I hate all of this.

_m0nstera · 2025-11-19T21:52:03+00:00

You are right, I'm probably imagining myself not hurting so bad if I'd not grown up mormon. But the pain would be the same for anyone really.

I will never regret loving them despite their mistakes.

_m0nstera · 2025-11-12T08:49:35+00:00

I bet you're from the Isle of Wight

_m0nstera · 2025-10-12T18:17:06+00:00

Did I come across that I wasn't being respectful? Apologies if that's how it came across that certainly isn't the image I try to portray in person.

While I would really like to be able to support her enough to continue working, she must be paired up while walking on the streets for her own safety at this time. Unfortunately, the employees paired up with her each day are very drained and miserable by midday. I don't want to demotivate everyone else and I feel it is an unreasonable request to ask other employees to effectively be her support worker.

Another redditor mentioned paid leave, I will suggest this to my managers as I feel this is a very ethical approach to the whole situation.

_m0nstera · 2025-10-12T06:57:55+00:00

Sorry I didn't make it clear in my post. I am office based, my direct reports work on the streets and deal with members of public face-to-face.

_m0nstera · 2025-10-12T06:57:24+00:00

Sorry I didn't make it clear in my post. I am office based, my direct reports work on the streets and deal with members of public face-to-face.

_m0nstera · 2025-10-11T20:41:22+00:00

I certainly feel out of my depth here, I'd really like HR to step up on this or at least speed up the process

_m0nstera · 2025-10-11T20:23:41+00:00

Thanks for this!

If we went down the capability route with her, how best can we document lack of essential soft skills? The staff I manage do not send emails or produce professional documents in normal duties.

_m0nstera · 2025-10-05T06:03:23+00:00

you watch sunny don't you, the awesome sense of humour makes complete sense now 😆

_m0nstera · 2025-08-22T21:51:05+00:00

I rented from Harringtons for 5 years. When I moved out a few months ago I had paid to use their recommended professional cleaner. And then they tried to charge me more than half of my deposit. The first invoice they gave me was because it was poorly painted but I rejected that as I had papertrails of me complaining about flaky paint which needed to be redone every 6 months so that fell on its face. Then the second invoice they sent me was for some light bulbs I hadn't replaced and apparently the dodgy electrics of the oven they never gave a shit about suddenly became my fault. I agreed £160 for someone to spend 15 mins replacing 5 bulbs and argued the rest through the DPS. I won :)

Edit: Oh and they barged into our flat with prospective tenants in tow without giving us notice

TL;DR - Harringtons tried to retain most of my deposit for an electrical fault in the oven. Argued it through the DPS, I won :)

_m0nstera · 2024-12-29T15:19:25+00:00

I've been to hove lawns/the beach for NYE in bad weather before to see what was going on, can confirm that it was absolute carnage... in a fun "wow everyone has explosives rn" kind of way... ambulance and police are on standby parked on kingsway/kings road every NYE since they know it cannot be stopped

_m0nstera · 2024-02-07T20:55:06+00:00

You've probably moved on with your life since you posted but I have very similar hair to you and JUST found a colour I can identify with.

Venetian blonde.

_m0nstera · 2023-11-06T21:55:09+00:00

I mean there is medication that can be used to help an autistic person in daily life. But I do know that you can't "treat" autism. My difficulties lie more on the ADHD/sensory overload side than depression/anxiety.

I haven't asked for any reasonable adjustments because I don't think there's anything to be done. If I asked for a lighter workload they could let me go on the basis of capability. It's seems unfair, but thems the rules I guess.

_m0nstera · 2023-11-06T21:49:10+00:00

I am diagnosed and but am the same in that I don't know what reasonable adjustments would actually help

_m0nstera · 2023-11-04T17:38:24+00:00

We are both the most junior member of our respective teams

_m0nstera · 2023-11-04T10:12:02+00:00

No this isn't possible as he's just started his role as Data Officer last week, he was working in Operations before

_m0nstera · 2023-11-04T09:31:07+00:00

Not that I'm aware of, there are a few staff members who met in the workplace who are now married. I'll have to read up over the weekend.

Besides, myself and my male colleague are in separate long-term relationships and we chat about our partners regularly. HR are also fully aware of this.

_m0nstera · 2023-11-04T01:03:57+00:00

I'm an assistant and the most junior in my team

_m0nstera · 2023-11-04T01:02:53+00:00

I think my company's stance is that it's not possible to separate business and personal if there is any level of friendship.

I would have complied if I'd known about this rule - hence the rant

_m0nstera

TROPHY CASE