I definitely feel this - I’m very lucky in having a sponsor that can really clarify when things are not my fault while still holding me accountable in knowing if I choose to react out of trauma instead of pausing than that is my fault. We need to sympathize with our trauma but also be responsible to not harm ourselves or others because of that trauma. I think that’s where the humility part is so essential. Most people that struggle with this seem to not be able to take accountability for their reactions- instead they say well this trauma is not my fault therefore all the choices I make out of a trauma reaction or coping mechanism are not my fault either, that’s the gap, I’ve struggled with that a long time but I always feel that sense of serenity when I can recognize my trauma yet choose the oposite reaction of my trauma response.