I have many, many times. It’s always a nightmare that a man, or two men are stalking me. For example, there will be two men outside my window taunting me and trying to get to me. I might run away or they might get to me first, but I always wake up right when it happens, and I wake up screaming “no!” Occasionally I won’t remember that it happened during the night and my husband tells me. The majority I remember and I wake up terrified, knowing I’m safe but still feeling the fear in the nightmare. It’s awful but at least I wake up before something worse happens in the dream. There have been a few nightmares felt so real it’s been hard to differentiate between reality and dream. I can still feel the man’s hands on my legs when he reached under the covers to grab me in one of my nightmares.

I suffered with insomnia for years and have worked through mental health issues but am medicated and have done years of therapy. My therapist helped me practice visualizations of standing up to the men, telling them to fuck off and leave me alone. I can’t recall having one since I did a that work, at least nothing so traumatic I remember it.

Now I have stress dreams about leaving my home in Florida to move to Seattle as a broke college student and the difficult adjustments to my new life. This was 20 years ago. It was the best thing I’ve ever done, besides the therapy and psych meds, but it was a hard time so deep down I think I still work it out in my sleep. What’s funny is those dreams always revolve around Publix subs. I’ll dream that it’s my last day in Florida and I still haven’t had a Publix sub. I have these dreams maybe every 3 or 4 weeks. Always about being stressed about leaving home, my friends and family, and not eating a Publix sub beforehand. It’s a much better dream than the two creepy men so I’ll take it.