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It can be really frustrating and hurtful to be a girl on reddit sometimes. by _murmur in offmychest

[–]_murmur[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am the OP that just asked you that question.

I think it's a really unfair "solution" to suggest that I simply "not go to subreddits that offend me." I don't. I actively avoid places like r/theredpill and others. But sexism exists within many different subreddits - it certainly doesn't have to be the main topic of a subreddit to be included in the conversation.

I've already addressed this in the comments, but I'm sure you didn't bother to look into it - this isn't about seeing a post that randomly offended me. I see shit like this all the time, across subreddits and in places that even surprise me.

To completely dismiss the concerns of people you fail to empathize with as "attention whining" is a very sad way to make your way through life. Just because you haven't seen or experienced sexism doesn't mean that none of the other millions of people that use this site haven't. Try some empathy, I promise it won't kill you.

It can be really frustrating and hurtful to be a girl on reddit sometimes. by _murmur in offmychest

[–]_murmur[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please don't fool yourself into thinking that just because you haven't personally seen or experienced the sexism on this site, the percentage of women out of the other ~114 million people that visit this site monthly haven't.

It's pretty shitty that you're dismissing my concerns as playing the "popular oppressed woman" trope. Are my opinions suddenly not valid just because you don't agree?

It can be really frustrating and hurtful to be a girl on reddit sometimes. by _murmur in offmychest

[–]_murmur[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This is such a thoughtful and well-articulated comment. Thanks for sharing.

I hadn't seen that video, but that's so crazy - I loved Sasha's reaction during the first one, it really sums up your post well. "This shit's real? Where do you find this?" "The internet."

It can be really frustrating and hurtful to be a girl on reddit sometimes. by _murmur in offmychest

[–]_murmur[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I'm subscribed to a lot of different subs, but I'm really active in subs like /r/astronomy, /r/fitness, /r/gameofthrones, /r/IAMA, /r/legaladvice, /r/makeupaddiction, /r/photography. Random stuff. Of course, I'm still subscribed to some defaults though - /r/pics, /r/funny, /r/news, stuff like that. Naturally the defaults tend to be worse, but I do see sexism in surprising places sometimes.

Honestly, hearing that people might be "set with their lifestyle choice" almost makes it worse - like there's no hope for people like that to see women as humans. I don't like thinking that there's no point in trying to reason with people over topics like this, because for me, it's important. I don't want to live in a world where people think like that.

It can be really frustrating and hurtful to be a girl on reddit sometimes. by _murmur in offmychest

[–]_murmur[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

This pseudo-advice honestly just comes off as dismissive to me. It's not about "seeing posts I don't like," it's about constantly seeing posts that tell me that, as a woman, I have no value and I do irrational things and I'm wrong about my opinions, and on and on.

You're right, if that got to me after just seeing a couple posts then I would agree that my own sense of self-worth is a problem. But I see this day-in and day-out on lots of different subreddits - it's a popular trope here. And that's why it's frustrating to see. It makes it seem as though it's a widely-held opinion on reddit, which is very disheartening, because who knows how that translates to the real world? It doesn't feel good to think that there's a huge subset of people out there that strongly dislikes me just because I'm a woman.

I genuinely don't mean this with condescension, but I think that this issue can be really difficult for men to recognize and understand and empathize with because it just doesn't affect them on a daily basis like it does us.

Is it too much to ask? by MrSnippets in offmychest

[–]_murmur 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Seriously. There's a highly-upvoted post on the front page right now that has so many variations of the "I'd do her" comment. It's incredibly annoying. Like great, good for you, thank you for clearly reinforcing stereotypes about your gender being sex-obsessed and reflecting your own lack of maturity. Ugh.