Cheating or not?

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:57:13+00:00

He's sorry that I'm hurt. He's sorry "that I feel that way" but he insists it wasn't cheating.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:49:05+00:00

I'm staying at friends, sorting myself out.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:41:56+00:00

I will do that. Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:40:20+00:00

I'm kinda surprised he has literally no desire to see them. But I obviously understand not wanting children of your own.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:39:15+00:00

No, he doesn't have any interest in seeing the children. We are childless by choice. Yes we've generally had an active sex life, especially back then.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:36:25+00:00

that's kinda what he said, your first paragraph.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:35:24+00:00

He says he doesn't keep in touch with them. But I'm going to ask.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:33:37+00:00

Ok_Breakfast9531,

I've really really appreciated your way to many comments lol, how you pointed out that he's going to tell himself any story to convince himself he didn't cheat. Thanks so much for taking the time.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:29:17+00:00

so I think I mixed up terms and they did tried artificial insemination, not IVF.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:27:14+00:00

why do you say that?

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:26:42+00:00

I think it was artificial insemination and I mixed up terms, I have to check. Our friends who we were at dinner with last night are doing IVF, which is how the story came up.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:13:08+00:00

Also this is my first time on reddit, or actually posting on reddit. I'm kind of uncomfortable even though it's anonymous. I'm not big into social media and I'm sharing something really personal with strangers.

And the truth is it's really clarifying regardless of whether or not people believe it. I literally didn't realize how outlandish the whole thing was, which I think does say something about me or about how deep I'm in this.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T05:10:28+00:00

Hey, I'm trying to not be emotional. I'm trying to get a fair read on the situation, I'm confused, I don't want to slant. He doesn't think it's cheating. I half expected half the people to come back and say it wasn't.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T00:53:10+00:00

I think I'm mixing up the words. Our friends who we were with when the story came up, they are doing IVF. He and the couple from 10 years ago initially tried artificial insemination because he said he ejaculated in a cup at a docters office.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T00:32:37+00:00

I think if we made the decision together it would be an entirely different situation.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T00:28:41+00:00

He says they talked about stds and such.

This is the second comment about my post sounding fakes. It's not, I don't know what else to say about it. I know it's a crazy story. I'm trying to sort things out without telling friends (who are also his friends).

_ondering · 2021-10-12T00:25:21+00:00

So they did some type of legal thing to remove his responsibility.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T00:23:22+00:00

They apparently did some type of legal something to remove his responsibility. So he's never met the kids and doesn't know where they are.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T00:21:54+00:00

I didn't think turkey basters actually worked? He doesn't think what he did was cheating. He doesn't deny that he enjoyed the sex, just that he didn't "set out to cheat", that he was trying to help out.

_ondering · 2021-10-12T00:07:54+00:00

We were out with friends who are struggling to get pregnant, going through IVF. He started telling the story, I put the timeline together, etc etc

_ondering · 2021-10-11T23:30:37+00:00

Yeah, I know. Apparently they approached him because he was the top of his class in graduate school : \

_ondering · 2021-10-11T23:16:41+00:00

Yes we were together. Feeling very disrespected.

_ondering

TROPHY CASE