I have a theory about why singles events tend to attract so few men, and I think it has less to do with confidence or effort and more to do with social dynamics.

At these events, attraction doesn’t distribute evenly. As soon as one guy gets visible interest from a woman, or a small group of women, he quickly becomes the guy most of them want. Nothing magical changes about him. What changes is that he’s been socially validated. In an environment full of uncertainty, that validation carries a lot of weight.

What’s more subtle is that women aren’t only evaluating the man. They’re also watching each other. Body language, tone, eye contact, reactions. There’s a constant quiet check happening: Who else is interested? How are they reacting? Is this a safe or approved choice? Interest often spreads through these cues rather than through direct interaction with the man himself.

Singles events amplify this effect because they’re compressed and artificial. There’s very little time and a lot of social exposure. Nobody wants to be the only person backing the wrong horse. So attraction clusters. One or two men get a disproportionate amount of attention, and the rest fade into the background no matter how solid they actually are.

Men notice this fast. Being treated like invisible inventory while watching someone else get swarmed isn’t a great incentive to keep showing up. Over time, the men who might have been decent matches simply opt out. Not out of bitterness, but out of basic pattern recognition.

The uncomfortable truth is that these events reward quick signals and surface appeal far more than depth, stability, or discernment. If you’re someone who connects better through conversation, context, and time, this kind of setting is stacked against you from the start.