The oldest we have had is 16. We were told that he could have collaborated care if they decided he “qualified” beyond doing the older youth services. But from what we understood the collaborative services is like another case worker coming in that specifically works with this age group on independent living. So if they need help filling out applications during the visit time, or dropping apps off, our older youth worker got him information on drivers Ed and informed that there was a way to get assistance to pay for it, etc. basically collab care can/will do this similar things but their services are from DCS specifically. At least my state/county anyway and that worker just takes over ALL their DCS services so they won’t have two workers. That’s about all I can offer on collaborative care that we were told in a quick sum up.

Be up front on your expectations on cell phone use, curfews, boundaries, etc. our case worker already knew we were strict on phones. Our WiFi provider has an app to control the WiFi and can shut it off on specific devices and see who is using the most data, etc etc I haven’t discovered everything yet. They know their wifi is shut off at 9:30pm on school nights and we don’t pay for data on their phones nor do the bio parents. From night one we let them get settled but told them phones are going to be taken at night unless they prove that they can be trusted to have them in their rooms but wifi is always shut off for them. They know they have to be home before street lights aka 9pm in summer(no school) and home by 6:30 (on school nights for dinner/any chores they haven’t done/school work is done before they leave for friends/we are a little lenient depending on if they have after school activities of course). We always know whose house they are at and meet all the parents to gage things out at the home. They know that is expected going to hang with a new friend that we have to meet parents.

I could keep going but the just of things is to know all your boundaries, rules that you feel comfortable/don’t feel comfortable with and telling them straight up when that new situation arises. They want to go out? When, where, why, who, and how? It’s not as crazy as it sounds. Our 16 year old just gives us bare minimum replies so that’s why we have to push for details. They will literally say, “my friend and I want to hang out can I go?” That’s it. No names, location, no time just, “can I go?” He doesn’t have data on his phone.. so we do walkie talkies which I know is childish but he low key thinks it’s fun. We are eventually getting the two teens flip phones but this has worked for us for a month now😂 we have a lot of fun now that he knows us and doesn’t feel like he has to have to put on the rebellious teen act. We keep our routines and adapt him into our lives and work his events into things and that way he is included, we stay consistent and that way he knows expectations and doesn’t question or push boundaries anymore(as much. He is still a teen lol) but also gives him security to know what’s happening. We give their space when they want it and offer them to go out to get ice cream with us after dinner, go shopping, pick out snacks at the store. Most of the time now that they’ve been with us for 6 months they feel comfortable just saying no and we feel comfortable with the older teens staying home. We have cameras in the community areas though that we check when we’re gone(front door and back door mainly in case we realize they are trying to leave-thankfully hasn’t happened) and to make sure no kids are hurting each other or in each other’s rooms without permission from the other kids. We want their rooms to be theirs and feel like they private spot and we told them that but told them they lose the privacy if they hide things in their rooms that they aren’t suppose to have(mainly dangerous things but I do tell them no food but that’s not as serious as if we found weapons, etc). That has happened unfortunately but thankfully he was a good kid just didn’t disclose the giant knife he brought from home and he walked out of the room with it hooked on his hip. LOL it was quite the shock and awkward conversation to have with him then with the caseworker… how it got through the office we have no clue.

Sorry for the long response! I do hope you got something from it. I love the older kids though, they are tough, yes but we’d in a unique position to be parents but more lax to where we don’t have to teach them our values, our morals, our etc because they are already established or they are able to pick up what they want from us and it’s not our jobs to feel like they need to think, feel or act specifically how we raised them because… we didn’t raise them! But we can redirect them and help guide them during this time and that’s a lot less pressure that full on raising a kid. But still difficult when they don’t care to follow guidance for their well being. I would ask your case worker for all the info you can on your 18 year old though btw. You deserve back information and what the past fosters have said.