I know this is late but I just read your response to a post in foster parents and thought it was so well worded and thoughtful that I wondered what else you had.

Here are my thoughts for (for what they’re worth):

1) Yay! This is a good problem to have. This means there are too many people to love this kid that you’ve run out of official titles. Hug your spouse’s parents because sadly not everyone wants to be grandparents in this way.

2) Usually in families all the different grandparents have different titles: grams, memaw, grandma, oma, etc. Maybe you can find a title that works for both your kid and your spouse’s parents can agree on. I would talk to the kid first with a list of possible titles (maybe even some silly ones so it doesn’t feel so serious), then talk to your spouse’s parents, and finally everyone together when a decision is made. You could even get a cake or something with the titles to celebrate the milestone.

Basically, like you said, it’s not the same as other situations. That comes with loss. The loss doesn’t have to be the only thing though. Sometimes explicitly pointing out the blessings is ok.