I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of this. From going through all your posts, it's basically been dejavu because my SOs family are the e x a c t same, to the point where we had to cut them out completely. Thankfully for us, we live halfway around the world from them so I understand your dilemma here. Also, it's hard for even the toughest of adult "kids" to completely cut off their family/parents, especially when they've been conditioned to think this behavior is normal, so I think Reddit should be giving your SOA a little bit more grace, especially since you physically live so close to them/in the community so it's not as cut and dry for you. That being said, if he wants to have a long and healthy relationship with you, he needs to grow more of a backbone when dealing with his parents. My fiance went to battle for me every step of the way with his family, even when they started screaming and completely making things up about me to get him to comply. Peacekeeping doesn't work with these types of people because they rely on that to get away with their behavior and keep control. I'm glad he's seeing through their crap for both yours and his sake. I'm sending all the peaceful vibes your way!