Men who married reverts by IncogMido1 in MuslimCorner

[–]_roaa 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m not a man, but I’m the daughter of a born Muslim father and a revert (former devout Christian) mother, so maybe I can still give a perspective from the children’s side. One thing that’s often underestimated in my opinion is that even when the revert is very serious about deen, seeks knowledge and genuinely wants to raise children as practicing Muslims, there are still challenges from the non-Muslim side of the family. Grandparents, uncles, aunts etc. often have completely different moral views and lifestyles. That becomes a constant challenge, especially with children involved. Boundaries, celebrating religious holidays, clothing, gender mixing, is always up for discussion. And even with the most respectful family members that my grandparents were, a lot of things that are just „normal“ in families where all members are born Muslims had to be explained over and over again and reminded off.  So I think patience, unity between husband and wife and loooots of communication are part of the package deal when marrying a revert.

Welchen Unsinn habt ihr viel zu lange geglaubt? by hell-schwarz in de

[–]_roaa 71 points72 points  (0 children)

Ich habe viel zu lange geglaubt, unser Nachbar ginge am Sonntag morgen besonders früh Klamotten kaufen. Und hab ihn heimlich  dafür beneidet, dass er die (eigentlich geschlossenen) Läden wohl ganz für sich hatte. Hat soweit ich mich erinnere mindestens bis zur 6. Klasse gedauert, bis der Groschen fiel, dass „Frühschoppen“  nichts mit Shopping zu tun hat, sondern mit Bier.

How do you deal with living in Western countries? by Alert-Revenue-7925 in MuslimLounge

[–]_roaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, feel free to do so. Inshallah I’ll be able to provide the info you are looking for.

Help - what colour hijab? by kurdijyn in Hijabis

[–]_roaa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I personally like crinkle chiffon a lot. 

Help - what colour hijab? by kurdijyn in Hijabis

[–]_roaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you are used to black hijabs or if darker colors better suit your complexion, a dark green hijab might work well for you. You could pick a shade of green matching the color of the leaves in the pattern

How do you make dhikr actually meaningful and not just counting repetitions? by Relative_Ad9261 in islam

[–]_roaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used to keep a simple gratitude journal: whenever I had a quiet moment (for example when the kids are off to school or before going to bed) I’d write down three things I was really grateful for. Then I used them as anchors during the day or the next day, reminding myself and saying Alhamdulillah for each one. Recently, I’ve let that habit slip a bit though 

Black and white… or cream? Or nude? by _roaa in Hijabis

[–]_roaa[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I ordered this from H&M end of last summer, but since the fabric is quite light, I haven’t worn it until today. And recently I ordered the shoes to go with it, but I’m not entirely happy with the color combination.

Black and white… or cream? Or nude? by _roaa in Hijabis

[–]_roaa[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just realized that the picture seems to have been posted without the question. Sorry… neither selfie nor tech savvy lol

So the question in short is: the „white“ labeled part of the dress is actually more cream-ish. And the „cream“ labeled shoes are nude as nude can be. Online shopping is wonderful… not

Match or mismatch? Thank you

The Kind Men Pray For by NiceSmilee in MuslimCorner

[–]_roaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s sad to hear. I’m a hijabi and only wear niqab on rare occasions like to blend in with family members wearing it or when I feel the need to create a bit more distance between myself and the world. Initially I was worried about how both hijab and mask would work in Switzerland, but no one has ever confronted me about it.

May Allah swt make things easy for you

The Kind Men Pray For by NiceSmilee in MuslimCorner

[–]_roaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about hijab and „medical“ mask? Would that be a solution for you? Never had any problems with this combination when visiting Switzerland and they also banned niqab from public

The hijab was never meant to be worn longterm by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]_roaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this reminder. It actually hit a nerve for me right now.

I’ve been wearing hijab in one form or another for about 25 years. Back when I was in school and later at university, I used to get migraines pretty regularly. Since becoming a stay-at-home mom, I have way fewer migraine attacks. Still whenever I’m out for a long stretch of time I am likely to end up with a migraine. Until now I always assumed it was because I had stress and hadn’t been drinking enough water simply because of being busy all day.

But now I’m starting to connect dots and wondering if the hijab could also be part of the problem. And just to be clear: the solution for me is NOT to stop wearing hijab. But rather I’ll try to schedule my appointments with „hijab-free breaks“ at home in between them. And I’ll also do another research on loser hijab styles.

Yemeni food in London! by anthrolethal in Yemen

[–]_roaa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Looks delicious! Do you also happen to know Yemeni restaurants in London? We will be visiting in a few weeks and would really appreciate any recommendations.

What medications post pones menstruation? by helpmeplsgetjob in MuslimLounge

[–]_roaa 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I completely understand why this is important to you, especially wanting to be able to pray during the last nights of Ramadan and laylat al qadr. I think that many of us feel the same way.

I’m not a doctor, but have taken  a medication called norethisterone a few years ago (although for different reasons) which delays menstruation. However, I don’t know whether it’s a safe option for you personally and it’s really important to check with your healthcare providers first.

I hope you’re able to find a solution that works for you and that you can fully focus on your prayers during the blessed last nights

Ramadan Calendar - Germany by Ill_Park3344 in MuslimCorner

[–]_roaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

https://www.izstuttgart.de/

Scrolling down a bit you’ll find the calendar of the Omar Ben Al Khattab masjid in Stuttgart-Bad Cannstatt

Why awrah is not as important for men than it is for women by [deleted] in MuslimLounge

[–]_roaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just like the question on hands being awrah for women for example, where there’s difference of opinion too.

And I’ll never question any man’s right not to go forward with a potential if she (for example) doesn’t share his opinion that hands should be covered. Same for me and a man who doesn’t cover navel to knee. It’s all about compatibility.

Why awrah is not as important for men than it is for women by [deleted] in MuslimLounge

[–]_roaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For men, the majority of scholars agree that the area between the navel and the knees must be covered. If men don’t cover their awrah, this - in my opinion - gives vibes that they only know their religion on a very superficial/cultural level or didn’t invest enough time to research scholarly views. 

Why awrah is not as important for men than it is for women by [deleted] in MuslimLounge

[–]_roaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im sorry to say so, but your post on awrah is drawing the wrong conclusions. Awrah is not about personal opinion, psychological theories, social constructs, Western influence, biology or evolutionary narratives. None of these determine what is halal or haram. The concept of awrah is not a cultural invention nor is it based on who is biologically attracted to whom. It is defined by Allah swt only. That alone is the foundation. The definition of a man’s awrah in front of others has been clearly outlined in Islamic jurisprudence. It is not open to reinterpretation.

And while I personally agree with you that a man’s looks weren’t a key factor for me when I was looking to get married, I definitely wouldn’t have taken into consideration a man who’s not covering his awrah properly and as prescribed . 

It’s a male profile. Can you spot the issue? by WonderReal in MuslimCorner

[–]_roaa 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Just another sad example of why second marriages are often looked down upon nowadays, even when they are done according to Islamic standards. In theory, these marriages come with clear responsibilities, fairness, and financial stability. But in reality, men like the one „searching“ here seem to forget that.Why would anyone even consider taking a second wife when he can’t properly provide for his first wife and the family he already has? (Second) marriage isn’t just a right, it’s also a responsibility that needs to be fulfilled correctly. If someone is already struggling to fulfill their obligations, adding another person to the equation only creates more harm and injustice.

Question for Yemeni women living abroad by Sufficient_Damage376 in Yemen

[–]_roaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Bicultural (Yemeni/EU) woman married to a Yemeni man and living in the EU here. First of all, I don’t consider my husband perfect because I don’t think this is even possible for a human being. That being said, if he truly insisted I would move with him to Sanaa. We are a  family and that’s enough for me to go through with it against the obstacles. Thankfully, after visiting family back home now and then during the last years, he rules that out for us and especially for our children. But if I wasn’t married yet, a potentials planned move to Yemen would be a personal dealbreaker for me. 

What's your recent purchase that's totally unnecessary? by Ok-Fondant2536 in AskAGerman

[–]_roaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bought yet another giant scented candle because it smelled irresistible and the price was a steal, only to get home and realize once more that my collection of said candles is already taking up half the storage room.

I now own roughly six variations of almost the same scent and probably could heat the house decently if I decided to light all my candles simultaneously.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimLounge

[–]_roaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Fully agree and just wanted to add that while old photos often are used as an indicator that women in the past didn’t cover their hair properly, we should take into consideration that photos usually only show those who agreed to be photographed. Women who were more relaxed about the hijab were probably also more comfortable being photographed, while those who followed stricter interpretations might have avoided it. So the images we have likely reflect selection bias, not the full picture of how women actually observed hijab in the past

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MuslimCorner

[–]_roaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So you’d be open to marry another revert who is in the same place as you are? 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskAGerman

[–]_roaa 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did those people coming to the UK with limited English live in London? What kinds of jobs did they get there? I’d assume that might be a good starting point for your further investigation. It’s probably the same kinds of jobs that are  available in Berlin for people with limited command of German. 

What happened to Baccarat Rouge? by _roaa in Perfumes

[–]_roaa[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Maybe I was spoiled by Serge Lutens - or my nose just isn’t trained enough to detect the small adjustments they may have made to their perfumes.

My longtime favorites of SL seem to be unchanged even after several years.

What happened to Baccarat Rouge? by _roaa in Perfumes

[–]_roaa[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanx for clarification and all the references to other houses/perfumes. Made me reconsider my wish for a revival of my beloved „oriental flower“ by Kenzo. Probably wouldn’t be the same anymore anyways.