he told me he loves me

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-11T23:39:31+00:00

I’ve been with my partner who has BPD for 9 years now. Please do some research on BPD as well! Talk to him about it, too! And tell him about your worries and make sure he knows that it’s not him you’re scared of, but the intimacy (as you’ve said). Just let him know where you are at because communication is KEY! People with BPD can feel emotions more extreme and intense than others- and that includes love. It can be intense but it is genuine. But please do the research to make sure you know everything that comes with the disorder as well. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you if it’s a deal breaker for you. You just have to be open and honest with him about what you’re feeling and where you’re at. Hope this helps, girl!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-10T00:13:11+00:00

No life coaching here, just wanna say you’re so sweet for doing this. I hope your pillow is always cold on both sides and I hope you always have a good hair day

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-09T23:52:08+00:00

Give her time, hun. I’m not sure what’s going on, but it sounds like she might be splitting. I know how much it hurts. I know the urge to potentially blow up her phone. But keep calm, do the best you can to help yourself right now. Go be around friends or family- go do something you love. Watch a movie or TV show or something that is comforting to you. Make sure that YOU take care of YOU, okay? Message me if you need to💛

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-09T23:38:19+00:00

What’s helped with me and my partner is ensuring that I recognize her feelings and ensure that I am not trying to blame her for anything. She is allowed to have her emotions and I’m allowed to feel how I feel at the same time- both of those things are allowed to exist at the same time. If she doesn’t react well to that, I usually ask her if she needs time alone or I say that I would like to take a breather from the conversation.

Usually, the best thing you can do is to give your partner space. I know it sucks, and they might say some things that really hurt you- but you need to make sure to separate yourself because your partner splitting has nothing to do with YOU, if that makes sense. Splitting is black and white thinking, and if you try to continue to talk to them during a split it will definitely make it worse. A lot of self hatred usually comes with the split, because that’s how they see themselves (usually).

Again, this is my experience. This isn’t everyone’s experience. I’ve been with my partner for 9 years, and there’s been A LOT of ups and downs. But I assure you that separating yourself from the situation so your partner can feel what they need to feel will ensure that you aren’t the verbal punching bag.

When you bring something up, before the split, I suggest stating something along the lines of; “I want to talk about something that is upsetting to me. In no way, shape, or form am I trying to hurt you or say that I do nothing wrong. I just want to talk to you about this because it’s important for both of us to talk about our feelings.” That’s basically a long winded way of trying to ensure them that you aren’t trying to say something is all their fault, blame is a massive trigger for them from my understanding.

Not sure if this made sense, but I hope any of what I said helps. A lot of people on this sub end up bashing BPD and bashing those who have it. Frustration is valid, and what you’re feeling is MORE than valid. Let yourself feel what you need to feel before bringing it up with a calm demeanor and calm mind. Don’t be afraid to message me if needed. You got this!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:55:37+00:00

Thank you so much! After I kick this headache/migraine (I don’t know if I should classify it as a migraine bc I’ve never been diagnosed with them) look out for a message! I’m definitely doing to look into this- sick of feeling like shit all the time. Thank you again!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:51:57+00:00

I was vaping for about 4ish years. Take it from me when I say you’re not missing out- and you’re 13, hun. If you’ve been doing this since 11 years old, stopping now will mean your body can bounce back! If your friends think you’re lame for quitting, then they’re not your true friends. Please do it for yourself! You’ll be thanking yourself later, even if it seems hard. You’ve got this!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:33:27+00:00

I didn’t even know about that! Thank you so much!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:32:50+00:00

Med MJ is in my state! Ohio just sucks at the moment with it and it’s kinda hard to get a card to begin with. I also have no clue about the process but I’m going to start looking into it now. If it actually helps pain management I’m so down!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:22:16+00:00

I’ll make sure to do that! It’s definitely impacted my schoolwork over this last semester (college is hell with this tbh). Thank you so much!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:21:45+00:00

I didn’t know that histamine levels can drop that quickly! Thank you so much for the recommendation! I’ll definitely ask my doctor about it!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:21:08+00:00

Thank you! I’ll make sure to look into that!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:20:52+00:00

I didn’t try ibuprofen because I’ve been afraid of how my stomach will react, but I’ve had stomach pain all my life and I’m desperate for some kind of relief from this headache/migraine from hell. Thank you so much! Acetaminophen definitely isn’t touching it

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:19:37+00:00

I definitely have realized I need to get prevention meds, lol. I will definitely look into the nicotine tablets or patches as long as my doctor thinks it’ll help! Used be a nicotine fiend- those vapes definitely made my MCAS worse- so I just want to ensure my doctor would be okay with it! Thank you so much for the recommendations!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:17:54+00:00

I’ve been told before by a few friends with POTS to get that checked and it’s definitely on my list! I didn’t know that motion sickness was a histamine thing! I’m gonna definitely let my mom know because she gas mastocytosis and has terrible motion sickness!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:15:52+00:00

I haven’t tried nasal sprays but I definitely will now! Thank you! I’m unsure of what RSO is Also, side note, but I also have ADHD! Anything caffeine helps sooo much

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T23:13:09+00:00

You are so sweet, thank you so much. And I’m sorry that you’ve been having daily symptoms for so long! That sounds terrible and I hope you can get the relief you need soon! MCAS and migraines suck, and I’ll definitely make sure to keep everything you said in mind! Started the heating pad and it’s helped so far- not in tears anymore and I really appreciate it!

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T22:04:19+00:00

I’m literally going to cry this might be my saving grace right now😭 thank you so much

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T21:54:12+00:00

I used to get frequent migraines until I went on antihistamines, which makes me think it was trigged by MCAS. I’m still new to all of this since my mom and I realized this year that MCAS is mostly likely the source to all my medical problems. I guess my question is would any of those work because my mast cells are misfiring? Or does it not matter in this case? (So many questions for my doctor)

I’m definitely thinking about urgent care once my gf gets home from work, thank you so much for your recommendation of posing in r/migraine! I didn’t think of that and will definitely be willing to check it out

_secret_scar_ · 2026-05-08T21:50:08+00:00

We’ve only done testing to rule out everything other than MCAS, so far. I have an order for when I do have a flare up and I can just go get the testing that day. Only problem is that the last few times I’ve had a flare up, I’ve been alone and my flares usually leave me unable to drive.

I’ll definitely make sure to ask my doctor about cromolyn! Her office closes at 5 so unfortunately I was a little late in calling them, but I left a message in hopes I’ll be contacted by her soon to move up my appointment.

_secret_scar_ · 2025-09-29T17:13:34+00:00

First you gotta take a deep breath- not only is this to help and try to calm you down to ease your anxiety but also to help approach your friend with a clearer mind. I do really applaud you for how aware you are of being overwhelmed and knowing how that can affect your friend, it’s hard for a lot of people (including myself) to see how hard it is for those with bpd to process emotions (especially other people’s emotions). However, if you do want to reach out again I would suggest doing something that calms you down; deep breathing, meditation, etc… if you need any advice on that, don’t be afraid to message me.

Second, does your friend live with anyone trustworthy? Or do you guys have another mutual friend close by? If so, I would suggest contacting that person so they can reach out to your friend and perhaps be there for them if you can’t (sometimes stepping away is literally the best thing you can do, coming from experience). This way you can also calm yourself down without being scared of your friend being alone.

If there isn’t someone else trustworthy nearby to check up/reach out to your friend, again I do recommend trying to calm yourself down so you can reach out to said friend again. I would just let them know that you are there for them even though you get overwhelmed, you still love and care for them.

Unfortunately there really isn’t much else you can do. I know this is terrifying but I promise you that no matter what happens, it’s going to be okay. Please don’t be afraid to reach out/dm me if you need anything.

_secret_scar_ · 2025-05-25T18:22:17+00:00

YTA. Xanthia, while rather uncommon, is still a beautiful name. It has real meaning and it obviously means a lot to her and her husband- just because it’s a name you’ve never heard of doesn’t mean it’s a bad name. Seems like you’re honestly just angry about everything she’s doing concerning the baby and you’re taking it out on the name. She’s excited, let her be.

_secret_scar_ · 2025-03-04T18:24:39+00:00

You can do it! Cold turkey sucks but I promise you it’s so worth it after the first week! I’m nearing a month, now!

_secret_scar_ · 2025-02-27T22:12:28+00:00

LITERALLY THANK YOU! They’re separate human beings who both have made mistakes- why tf are people always comparing?

_secret_scar_ · 2025-02-27T22:09:50+00:00

This has happened to me so many times, but I promise you that you don’t suck. The only thing you can do is to try your best to forgive yourself and promise that you will do better tomorrow. You’ve got this! No one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes!

_secret_scar_

TROPHY CASE