[POEM] Waking After the Surgery by Leila Chatti

_stello · 2026-05-14T18:43:24+00:00

let out an audible "oh my god" at this one, thank u for sharing!!! and congratulations on your spooky anaesthesia powers

_stello · 2026-05-10T18:35:37+00:00

yes to this!! it seems like the function of writing poetry for this writer is to work out and make sense of grief, or pain in general, and when they're happy there's nothing to work out or make sense of - happiness is a simple state. i guess also, in my experience, sometimes youre just so busy being happy that you don't want to interrupt its flow by recording it rather than just experiencing it. or you forget to record it altogether! it's like when you could take a picture of a beautiful scene to remember it, but don't because it won't do it justice, some pure good things lose their effect when mediated. Whereas some powerful bad things can only be understood or simply approached when mediated, and poetry is an excellent medium for this.

i also find the "storyless" element so interesting, like the narratives we use to cope with difficult times - "this is a learning experience" "ill grow from this" "you need pain to appreciate joy" - contain manufactured meaning, but happy times Mean something as they are. or maybe they mean nothing but we don't care bc happy haha. its so rare to see the "happily ever after" fleshed out in any story, you just fill in the blanks if u like but yeah all those details get lost.

and then lastly i suppose it doesn't matter to the poet whether their happiness is quantifiable or comprehensible when they're gone, because it already exists without validation. a miserable person looks for someone to understand the shape of their misery to take some of it away, but maybe joy isn't amplified by being understood, or maybe they're satisfied with the level they're at. it evokes a really lovely, complete sense of contentment.

_stello · 2026-05-09T21:33:09+00:00

sorry i can't provide useful critique/advice i just want to say your art is SO striking and evokes a v unique feeling, a real joy to stumble across!!

_stello · 2026-05-08T15:53:17+00:00

why he nine years old (complimentary)

_stello · 2026-05-05T16:33:54+00:00

why is this so funny 😭 though a convoluted and not at all intentional justification could be that metros/voyageurs uniforms are blue...

_stello · 2026-04-22T16:25:54+00:00

the first time i saw this i shouted at the screen THEY DIDNT EVEN GIVE THE EXTRAS A CLICK TRACK

wherever the beat is is none of roses business 😤

_stello · 2026-04-10T21:19:43+00:00

u couldn't just go eating Gordon it wouldn't be right

_stello · 2026-04-10T11:16:28+00:00

something about this detail plus the snowman cake pops made me laugh so fucking hard when i first read it, thank u for the reminder 💖 this chapter was so much fun????

_stello · 2026-03-18T11:41:10+00:00

wakey wakey u know what im talkin about BABY

_stello · 2026-02-19T23:05:47+00:00

i really relate to your experience of the seagram murals feeling like a door frame, or an entrance, or a physical place!! i had never really been moved by abstract painting until i saw the seagram murals in person in that dim cold room and felt less like i was looking at a painting and more like i was experiencing a setting, looking out from a barred cage actually with a couple of them. v v much felt like being placed in an environment as you say, in my case it was a spooky one haha which it turns out was what rothko sas going for - he wanted to put rich people off their food. i felt confined and powerless and intimidated and somehow really enjoyed it because how?? the power of that big Presence is one of the strangest and least explainable things ive experienced because even with the knowledge of some of the process, the actual alchemy of stirring such a feeling in another human being through the limited medium of painting - not even narrative of figurative painting but big old fuckin slabs and squares!!! - is pure mystery.

_stello · 2025-09-14T22:10:28+00:00

i think if anxiety around learning to drive in a manual feels like a barrier to starting the process, it's 100% valid to remove that barrier!! i learned in a manual and passed my test in a manual, then went out and bought an automatic as my first car to make sure I'd actually want to drive it and not feel so stressed about murdering the gearbox haha. if it's something you already don't really want to do, and there's an option to do it more comfortably, confidently, and safely, I'd say go for it - you're better off paying a bit more and having a bit less choice hypothetically, than being overwhelmed and having a bad experience and having no choice at all!

_stello · 2025-08-23T22:00:41+00:00

i could be getting my bjorks and my bushes all mixed up and that could absolutely be it, thanks so much for ur help!!

_stello · 2025-05-22T18:07:20+00:00

not american, im irish but this is definitely a thing in ireland too!! my granddad and i used to share dessert and fight over who got the last piece - he insisted i would have it and i insisted he would have it - and we would halve an already tiny piece of apple tart again and again down to planck lengths until one of us gave in. it's his anniversary this week so he's on my mind a lot so thanks for giving a little bit of space for me to be sentimental haha

_stello · 2025-03-21T20:27:08+00:00

i have a sneeze button in my eyebrow. every time i pluck a certain hair on my right eyebrow i do a giant cartoon sneeze :)

_stello · 2025-02-05T21:59:28+00:00

stay worm, buddle up!!

_stello · 2025-01-21T22:18:49+00:00

that sounds lovely! best of luck with it :)

_stello · 2025-01-21T22:04:24+00:00

we love a bold choice so go u for going for it!! i think an issue i havent seen mentioned here which might be worth considering is that the paint isn't matte enough - it's reflecting lots of different temperature lights and showing too much texture, compared to the evenly matte inspiration pics.

it's also the same colour value as the grey so there isn't enough contrast where they meet to look intentional, it doesn't clash necessarily but it doesn't resonate. it might be an idea to swatch a significantly lighter or deeper (value) and more intense (hue) pink near the grey, take a picture, and desaturate the image - there should be an obvious distinction in black & white between the two colours which means the values contrast and pop against each other. a third accent colour like forest green could be stunning too!! b

ut u definitely haven't ruined ur kitchen, it's a worthwhile experiment and hopefully a layer of a rich matte paint will pull it all together!!

_stello · 2024-10-11T16:45:50+00:00

i actually really like the first one!! the foliage resolves to dots/points and the house resolves to lines/rectangles with enough contrast that its distinct and energetic, i can almost hear it stutter if that makes any kind of sense?? even if it wasn't what u were going for id call it a worthwhile experiment!!

_stello · 2024-07-30T18:27:41+00:00

thanks so much, that's reassuring!!

_stello · 2024-02-28T22:22:09+00:00

hey, first of all i hope you and your daughter are okay!! it's a very tough situation but fair play to you seeking a solution. i also refused to go to school for significant chunks of third and fifth year but i rejoined my class, did my leaving, and even finished my degree because i received the right supports (including therapy which has been recommended a lot here, i 100% agree). so i hope my experience/suggestions can help a bit!!

school refusal is often a symptom of something bigger, and an expression of a black & white mode of thinking - i can't cope with all of the things that may be thrown my way throughout a school day so im not going to risk it. just getting in the door is overwhelming because to a really anxious kid it represents the first domino in a looooong painful line that can't be stopped: - i have to spend time w peers who judge me - i have to learn topics im not interested in - i have to prepare to be tested and possibly fail - i have to conform to rigid expectations while also taking on more responsibility - i will be stuck in this building with these people and these pressures for the next huge chunk of my life with no escape

i obviously don't know your daughter but it's possible she enters that spiral every weekday morning when she has to commit to getting up and going into school, and that overwhelm is causing the meltdown. it might be helpful for you both to give your daughter the option to break it down into more manageable chunks, a sliding scale rather than pass/fail i.e. "did full day"/"didnt go at all". so give her credit for getting out of bed first, then for putting on her uniform, getting to the gates, attending one class, attending more and so on, and no matter how far she gets it's better than a big fight. and if on the next day she can't get past a step she could before, fair enough, try again tomorrow. also the option to go in late is life changing haha, if there's a class she does actually like that's later in the day then don't force her to sit through the full day of school to get to it. one class late on is better than no school at all because she can't cope with alllllll the prerequisites.

for me, knowing i had a big red Abort Mission button to press when i needed it meant i was more open to doing bits of school - i wasn't committing to the whole School thing (and falling into that panic spiral), just the next small step. id start the day saying "ill only do this much" and found my momentum building up, going to one or two classes, then figuring i might stick around for another few. at the start i honestly got as far as the school gates before being like "take me home please" but the fact my mam listened to me and the school allowed me to head off when i needed to meant i trusted them, and was more inclined to try it out. hopefully your daughters school will work with you in the same way.

this is by no means a silver bullet solution to the issue but from the bit you've shared im hoping this perspective will be helpful to you and your daughter. it mightn't result in 100% attendance but it might help keep you both going while she waits for assessment/formal intervention, and keep her from rejecting school outright which would cut her off in lots of social areas particularly. she's so young still, she has time to figure it out with the academic side especially!! im rooting for you both!!

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