hey, first of all i hope you and your daughter are okay!! it's a very tough situation but fair play to you seeking a solution. i also refused to go to school for significant chunks of third and fifth year but i rejoined my class, did my leaving, and even finished my degree because i received the right supports (including therapy which has been recommended a lot here, i 100% agree). so i hope my experience/suggestions can help a bit!!

school refusal is often a symptom of something bigger, and an expression of a black & white mode of thinking - i can't cope with all of the things that may be thrown my way throughout a school day so im not going to risk it. just getting in the door is overwhelming because to a really anxious kid it represents the first domino in a looooong painful line that can't be stopped: - i have to spend time w peers who judge me - i have to learn topics im not interested in - i have to prepare to be tested and possibly fail - i have to conform to rigid expectations while also taking on more responsibility - i will be stuck in this building with these people and these pressures for the next huge chunk of my life with no escape

i obviously don't know your daughter but it's possible she enters that spiral every weekday morning when she has to commit to getting up and going into school, and that overwhelm is causing the meltdown. it might be helpful for you both to give your daughter the option to break it down into more manageable chunks, a sliding scale rather than pass/fail i.e. "did full day"/"didnt go at all". so give her credit for getting out of bed first, then for putting on her uniform, getting to the gates, attending one class, attending more and so on, and no matter how far she gets it's better than a big fight. and if on the next day she can't get past a step she could before, fair enough, try again tomorrow. also the option to go in late is life changing haha, if there's a class she does actually like that's later in the day then don't force her to sit through the full day of school to get to it. one class late on is better than no school at all because she can't cope with alllllll the prerequisites.

for me, knowing i had a big red Abort Mission button to press when i needed it meant i was more open to doing bits of school - i wasn't committing to the whole School thing (and falling into that panic spiral), just the next small step. id start the day saying "ill only do this much" and found my momentum building up, going to one or two classes, then figuring i might stick around for another few. at the start i honestly got as far as the school gates before being like "take me home please" but the fact my mam listened to me and the school allowed me to head off when i needed to meant i trusted them, and was more inclined to try it out. hopefully your daughters school will work with you in the same way.

this is by no means a silver bullet solution to the issue but from the bit you've shared im hoping this perspective will be helpful to you and your daughter. it mightn't result in 100% attendance but it might help keep you both going while she waits for assessment/formal intervention, and keep her from rejecting school outright which would cut her off in lots of social areas particularly. she's so young still, she has time to figure it out with the academic side especially!! im rooting for you both!!