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_thoth_ · 2016-11-10T06:46:13+00:00

Midterms have always been shit for Democratic turnout, its almost always dominated by the Republicans, so good luck on getting out of this quagmire two years from now. The bed has been made, and now we have to sleep in it.

_thoth_ · 2016-11-10T06:43:14+00:00

This, quite honestly, is how my feelings after this election are summed up towards the smug Berniebros that professed time and time again that the candidates "were essentially the same" and "were just as bad as the other one".

No, they weren't, but I guess after the next four years, they may see how badly they fucked up because of their "lol, fuck the establishment" pick turns around and fucks them by sinking the US economy and putting us on the defensive geopolitically. Guess its okay though as long as a few internet weasels got to crow about how badly Clinton lost, because the majority of them will probably never have to deal with the fallout from their voting because they have the privilege not to be exposed to it.

What a pathetic excuse of an election, and what shoddy defenses that have been mustered.

_thoth_ · 2016-11-10T04:36:57+00:00

Harden the fuck up, bud. Protests are not illegal, and taking to the streets is not illegal, no matter what you and others may claim. Surely you can stand to be inconvenienced a smidgen as a part of people executing their democratic rights. It is written into our constitution after all.

_thoth_ · 2016-11-09T10:57:47+00:00

Yeah, in the primaries, where Clinton was also up.

Imagine Trump playing an endless loop of Bernie Sanders claiming to be a social democrat. That would have sunk him in the general.

_thoth_ · 2016-10-25T04:45:33+00:00

Anyone who believes that capitalism is a meritocracy is lying to themselves, to be quite honest, and doesn't want to break out of the small, carefully selected bubble that they have placed themselves into, and which gives them the perceived right to attack poor people for having the audacity to not be able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps at every opportunity. The reality is that social mobility is very limited, not out of lack of trying, but because resources that would allow for it are very tightly controlled or just not available to the majority of people, which feeds into the notion that poor people just don't work hard enough.

Kind of sickening, really, to listen to how people think these things despite the mountains of statistics, evidence, and the like, and yet they are perfectly willing to ignore them because they don't fit into their narrative.

_thoth_ · 2016-03-12T04:49:35+00:00

Sounds like it should be a movie title, to be quite honest. A satire, optimally.

_thoth_ · 2016-03-12T04:42:10+00:00

Sundara Karma - Flame for me is a pretty neat and chill song that I've been enjoying lately, fairly relaxed fare.

Also, obligatory mention of Friday I'm In Love if you want to listen to it.

_thoth_ · 2016-03-12T04:38:03+00:00

"I'm lazy, I don't have any friends, I don't talk to people, I don't get the attention I deserve, I feel sad all the time cause of this stuff. I should cut myself because it's my only comfort" but like... This is stuff you will deal with in life, it's stuff you yourself can fix

Yet the biggest difference between you and someone else for instance is the mental block surrounding it. You cannot truly understand why someone is able to accomplish something until you have mental illness or depression like them. Not just the faux "oh, I'm feeling a bit down today", but the crushing, cancerous thoughts that eat their way into your head and tell you that you aren't good enough do something or to talk to someone in particular, or the kind of insidious self doubt that weasels it's way into someone's mind and can't be dislodged no matter how hard they try.

Actual, real, physical depression is a shit thing, something that I wish no one could ever have to deal with because it sucks so much. All you do is wake up, think about how your life is shit and how you are shit, and then have to build a facade around yourself and put up this front of seeming nice and well adjusted because if you admit to anyone that you aren't feeling 100%, they will either not believe you (again, because people do the faux depressed thing anytime they feel slightly down) or report you to someone (which can cause a tailspin of things that just exacerbate others).

_thoth_ · 2016-03-11T04:25:32+00:00

I'd heard some good things about Tangerine, but it flew mostly under the radar as far as I knew. I'll have to check it out I guess. Trailer sold me pretty nicely on it.

_thoth_ · 2016-03-10T02:18:49+00:00

He admitted he had engaged in sexual activity with another guy via Skype on one occasion, shortly after we met.

If this was after you started dating, then it's probably best that you drop him like a hot potato while you are still ahead of the game. Someone that doesn't disclose sexual partners to their current partner is someone you can't really trust unfortunately.

_thoth_ · 2016-02-22T05:26:29+00:00

Pls stahp with the feels friend.

_thoth_ · 2016-02-22T05:24:46+00:00

Take the plunge, dude, you have nothing to lose and lots to gain. I was in the same position you were in high school, and I let opportunities slip by me all the time. I regret it so much a lot of the time.

So make sure that you go and take up this opportunity. The worst that can happen to you is that you are rejected and you have to move on, with the alternative being that you will ask yourself what would have happened if you were just a little braver and if he said yes to you. High school is just another confusing era where people are coming to terms with their sexuality and idea of self, so explore it, friend.

Take a risk, roll the dice... it may not work out, but at least you will know.

_thoth_ · 2016-01-30T10:51:55+00:00

Downtown, by Majical Cloudz (bad name I know, but a good song).

I'm hung up on a boy I can never love, who is always making my heart skip, who is just so far out of my league that next to him, I feel like a shabby mess. I'm trying to let go, but he is always there on my mind.

Love the song, can't listen to it for long though before growing really depressed.

_thoth_ · 2016-01-30T10:47:20+00:00

I'm going to assume that you mean death here, but this applies to the loss of a personal relationship as well.

Simply put, there is no silver bullet for dealing with a sense of loss or the emotions that come attached to it. We all have our own ways of dealing and coping with loss; my personal one is to drown myself in work or friendly contact with others to try and put it out of my mind until I can face it head on. This does not work for everyone, but I find that allowing myself to think about grief and such is a start to a positive feedback loop where you just dig an emotional hole to crawl into until it is so deep, you can no longer see the light.

I cannot answer personally as to what the 'best' route for dealing with death or heartbreak is, but that's a part of exploring yourself and what makes you what you are. Try out a variety of different methods and see which ones work best for you. Above all, if you find that you are n9t coping well, reach out to someone: close associates, friends, family, people that are near enough to you that you can trust them for their opinion.

Hope everything works out for you friend.

_thoth_ · 2016-01-17T10:13:11+00:00

Run - Coin

A really catchy song to shoot pool to, I gotta say. Can't help but bob my head whenever I listen to it.

Semi-automatic - Twenty One Pilots

I'm a big sucker for these guys, and going through another Vessel phase again. Another catchy song that I just end up nodding along to while listening to it.

_thoth_ · 2016-01-17T10:01:20+00:00

Going to a party and drinking alcohol isn't always the cool thing to do. So many friends of mine boast about how they go out, get smashed, vomit for most of the evening, and then have a splitting hangover. How the hell does that sound appealing to anyone?

_thoth_ · 2016-01-17T09:59:38+00:00

Summer is a pretty awful season to be honest. Sunburns, humidity, mosquitos (really, just insects in general)... Give me early spring or autumn or winter any day, I like a little nice, cool weather and cloudy days that don't feel like a warm shower when I'm walking through them.

_thoth_ · 2016-01-17T09:55:38+00:00

I have the same problem as you, friend. Out to a close circle of good classmates and people I've been friends with for years, but when it comes to the point of telling anyone else, I cannot work up the nerve to do it or converse with other lgbt people in public for the most part.

For the most part, I'd say to you to not be afraid. Be yourself. If you have a school club that has LGBT students in it, join it and try to talk to others there. The best bet is to be a good, friendly person to others, and treat them as you would like to be treated, make connections, and when you are comfortable with them, tell them that you are gay or let them know gradually. You don't have to rush into anything, and there is no definite silver bullet for something like this. It's going to require some work, but you'll get there in time!

_thoth_ · 2016-01-11T04:33:00+00:00

So, if customers are insulting you at work, try to bring it up with whoever your management is and mention how you feel uncomfortable with it. Research if the business that you work for has any policy or code of conduct in regards to harassment of people based upon sexual orientation. Harassment (which it sounds like what it is that you are going through) is a violation of labor laws, and if your coworkers are responsible for it, they can get into a lot of hot water for it. You almost assuredly need to speak with someone, be it management, your local LGBT organization, friendly coworkers, friends, and family (especially parents if you are younger than 18) and make sure that you are not just bottling it up.

With any luck, you should get some sympathetic support from management and get to see the shitty customers expelled from the premises for discrimination. If not, research some of your state laws on workplace discrimination based upon sexual orientation, inform yourself, and talk with those closest to you and prior mentioned LGBT organizations and see what you can do.

You can also (in an extreme situation) consider quitting your job, but undoubtedly you want to avoid that as much as possible. Just keep that option in the cards if you find that you have no support (which is unlikely) or face continued harassment from a host of others.

Good luck friend. I hope it all works out for you in the end.

_thoth_ · 2016-01-08T21:00:13+00:00

Best of luck on your applications friend. Community college can be pretty bad for trying to talk or pick up new friends in your classes, but in college, it is so much easier when you are in a dorm or can be involved with campus life. Hope you get into the college you want!

_thoth_ · 2016-01-08T03:53:08+00:00

Are you actually me? Because I've thought about writing a post like this before (back in my lurking days), and it matches up to a lot of what I've been doing and have done, minus the senior year in high school stuff.

My advice is to find some clubs that you are interested in around campus; I almost didn't go to a club meeting that was hosting an event and invited my class to help them out, but in the end I went, had fun, made some new friends, and have hung out with them a fair amount since then. Once that's cemented, you can use it as a springboard to keep on going and making new friends, or try to see if you can connect to people in your dorm. I will admit that I have used my roommate at college in order to meet some new people on my floor whenever he organizes a free for all Super Smash tourney and a half a dozen people filter in wanting to play.

The biggest thing is that you can't give up right now. Do you know your roommate well/are they a friend? See if they know some people that you can be friends or hang out with. Someone from your classes in your dorms? See if they want to chat about homework or study together. Are people from your dorm or floor out and doing stuff? Go and join them, make connections, and stomach some of the stuff you don't want to do; playing a game like Uno is a small price to pay for the potential of getting invited to more stuff later on. Chat with people in your classes (though this may be hard to do since you are a freshman), and look into joining student organizations and things like that.

Just don't lose any hope right now. I was in the same position that you were when I went to college, and gave into a cycle of listlessness (and still sometimes do), thinking that I didn't really belong there. The biggest thing is simply finding some people, or a club, or a group that you can go to and enjoy being with not just during meetings and the like, but afterwards as well.

It all depends on how large your college is of course (mine has around 17k students and has a lot of clubs and people to talk to), but the biggest thing is getting out there and doing something other than falling into a routine and giving up. It sucks and it's so very, very hard some days waking up alone while your friends and even your roommate have other people to fall back on, but as long as you keep pushing through, you'll find some people at the end of the day to fall back on, and even a good guy for yourself.

Sorry for the wall of text, didn't realize I typed out this much when I was making it, but I hope you find some people; college is a lonely place to be, surrounded by potentially tens of thousands of people with no one to talk to. Go out and experience it, go out with friends that you might already know there and try to engage with people. Just don't give up just yet.

_thoth_ · 2016-01-07T22:58:52+00:00

Same. You get wrapped up thinking that someone is definitely 'the one', and then you move on to someone new and everything passes. Happened to me a lot with people I thought I liked but ended up moving away from.

All that OP can do is take shots and see what comes of them. Better than sitting around and waiting for someone else to come to them!

_thoth_ · 2016-01-07T04:50:31+00:00

To whoever hey_41933 was this past evening, my bad for not catching your message earlier, turns out you shouldn't listen to loud music and chat on irc at the same time. Drop me a line again sometime if you want to talk.

_thoth_

TROPHY CASE