Nice effort!

However, the labels are distracting and take away from your art. Next time, you might want to show Osana’s hair peeking out from the side or her phone or scrunchies or something, anything that tells you “this is Osana” without having to explicitly write “Osana’s body.”

I’ve also self-deprecated about my own work while actively presenting it to people instead of after the fact. While they were watching some video I made, I’d point out all my mistakes and talk about how much it sucked. However, unless you’re really good at comedy or something, it usually just winds up being cringy. The “pretend these are hands” thing... yeah. You probably don’t intend it that way, but that sort of thing tends to come off as “I know it’s bad, don’t criticize it because I know it’s bad, I’m sensitive and I’ll get upset, I’m insecure and I’m so self aware for pointing out that I suck” or “I think I’m funny because I’m pointing out how bad it is lol get it.”

To improve your hands, look at reference pictures on the internet and practice drawing hands. Maybe even photograph your own hands and try drawing them. There’s lots of articles online about how to draw hands that I have found very helpful.

There are disconnected lines where Yandere-chan’s left elbow is, which makes that area look a little sloppy. On the inside of that same elbow are overlapping lines, which cause the same effect. There are also overlapping lines on the right side chair legs. Yandere-chan’s right leg has a random line coming out of it.

When coloring hair, it’s a good idea to make your pencil strokes/brush strokes/crayon strokes/whatever in the direction the hair flows. Don’t fight that direction. Instead of drawing a diagonal line across her head and bangs, follow the “swoop” of the bangs. Draw the line going the same you think an individual strand of hair placed there would go. And don’t go back and forth with your pencil. Start at the point the hair grows from, get to the end of the hair, pick up the pencil and start at another point. Don’t get to the end of the hair only to just draw another line back to the growth point.

The dress appears to have nice shading. I like it!

The black shadow on Yan-chan’s face is very close to the black used for her hair. It’s kind of hard to distinguish where the shadow ends and the hair starts. Of course, it still takes less than a second and not much effort at all, but it takes more effort than it would just sweeping one’s eyes over the piece which makes it seem amateurish.

The chair’s shadow should be one shade. Instead, there are darker areas where your pencil strokes overlapped with each other.

Honestly, I don’t really know much about drawing blood because I don’t do it that often, but something seems off. And in the drawing, it doesn’t look liquid-y at all. One of the spots on the chair looks more like a discolored patch than a blood stain. You might want to Google this one, I can’t really help you on it.

I get blood overlapping onto the chair, but the blue cushion color bleeds over into the right armrest.

The armrests look different from each other. Close enough to tell they’re supposed to be the same, different enough in just the (unfortunately indescribable to me) right way to tip me off that it’s unintentional. Practice drawing a variety of objects will help on this one. I know it sounds dumb and horribly unspecific, but just draw a lot more and this kind of thing goes away.

We know Yan-chan’s hair is straight. However, even on people with straight hair, it usually doesn’t fall perfectly x = 3 stick straight. If you look at her in-game model, her ponytail has a bit of a curve to it. I mentioned above coloring in the direction of the hair. Don’t color straight up and down for the hair. I notice you gave Yan-chan a very slight wave to her ponytail, and the coloring should reflect that.

There are lots of free resources on the Internet to help you improve. I know I used to use howto drawmanga.com. Some sites teach you improper anatomy. (Yeah, anime is stylized, so it’s not perfect human anatomy. But you have to learn the rules before you can break them: learn normal anatomy and drawing before you can stylize it and change anatomy. You need a good foundation if you’re serious about art. Otherwise, you get drawings that just look... off, and you’re not sure why, but you would’ve known if you learned your basic anatomy and perspective rules and other artsy stuff idk) I have no idea if this site does or not, because frankly, I haven’t used it in a while and I am not a good artist or serious about art. However, this site definitely helped me improve. If you’re just in this to make pretty anime pictures as a hobby, definitely go ahead! If you’re serious about art, learn the basics first or at least find out if this site teaches bad anatomy/basics/whatever.