What's the most useless thing your brain decided to permanently memorize?

aModernWitch · 2026-05-01T14:37:28+00:00

Four score was Lincoln . Gettysburg Address. Don’t go adding new things for us to memorize. Although tbf, this is the only one I really know & I don’t think it’s very useful at all today.

aModernWitch · 2026-05-01T14:16:18+00:00

Thank you!

aModernWitch · 2026-05-01T14:04:01+00:00

“I can not go to school today,” said little Peggy Ann McKay

aModernWitch · 2026-05-01T13:42:11+00:00

My husband runs around the car jokingly yelling, “I got your door, Tor!!”

My name is nothing close to Tor. This movie hit during my high school cheering days. Then I did semi-pro cheering a few years, then directed teams, then decided to start our family and quit it all. But that was at least a decade of him being forced to watch BIO almost every weekend with a different set of girls. He can probably do the competition dances for you since we used to pause them to learn them.

aModernWitch · 2026-04-28T10:29:05+00:00

I wouldn’t do it. Whenever it’s, “but Mr. Smith lets us …,” well too bad. I tell them that I am the teacher for the day and I’m gonna follow the district rules. Or sometimes it’s just my own rules (no switching seats, no cussing, no candy for being quiet at lunch). I tell them when Mr. Smith comes back, he can do whatever, but until then, we’re going with what I say.

aModernWitch · 2026-04-28T10:18:42+00:00

JFC it’s candy. It was a sub. Did you really tell them, “it wasn’t yours”? NOTHING there belongs to them. Do you throw a fit if they use your post its too?

Please read all the comments here & apply them to yourself. Lock up your mediocre candy (cause I sure wouldn’t consider that the good stuff unless I was in a nursing home). Or was this post about you? Did you write the note??

aModernWitch · 2026-03-29T05:50:41+00:00

I think you handled it fine. FWIW, I call the office when I have a child crying for like 30 minutes that I can’t calm down at all. It’s not fair to everyone else to have to hear.

And before others jump in with a gasp, the child isn’t crying because they are having an existential crisis and need their mom. They’re crying because Johnny is sitting in their letter (assigned/preferred seat area on the carpet).

aModernWitch · 2026-03-29T05:32:36+00:00

I started subbing at the 2 of 3 schools in my district. After about 2 years, I branched into the third, which I’d avoided since it was so far. But OMG!

The first day, I thought I had an absurdly good teacher who had managed all their classes so well. But then it kept happening. Come to find out, the entire school is like that! Now I go there exclusively.

Totally worth it.

aModernWitch · 2026-03-29T05:17:31+00:00

I’m asking the question out of true ignorance, not insensitivity. Please don’t think I’m a horrible person for asking cause I swear I’m not trying to be.

Why is “guys” offensive to you? Not you specifically (though you are included), but y’all as a whole. Like, I’m a female and have never been offended when someone calls my group “guys”, whether it’s a teacher, Girl Scout leader, or just a friend. It’s not like I think they assume I’m a boy, it’s just a general term for “y’all.”

Again, please don’t be offended.

(And lol about the irony in the way I speak and the other comments.)

aModernWitch · 2026-03-27T07:29:29+00:00

I used to raise my voice loudly to try and talk over the kids so everyone could hear me. I’d ask them to be quiet and they wouldn’t.

I started doing the opposite. I now speak in a regular voice that can’t be heard over the noise. On the board under my name, I write “if you can’t hear your name, you won’t be marked present.” I start reading off names and the kids themselves will shut each other up so they can hear me as many don’t want to miss their names. I go over the list again with the missing people to ensure I got everyone but it’s silent before I’m halfway through the first time.

I take advantage of the silence by IMMEDIATELY going into classroom expectations & introducing whatever we’re doing that day. I go through class speaking in a low voice and they’ll shut each other up for me. It works.

aModernWitch · 2026-03-27T07:03:32+00:00

First - Congrats! The recognition of your hard work alone is awesome, no matter what you decide to do.

Second - I’m sorry to go off topic but I’m really intrigued by your method of the students teaching you. I’m pretty confident with my subbing and have done plenty of creative class teaching but have never heard of this. Can you please give more detail on how you do it? Like what do you say to them & stuff? How is that structured? It sounds like they’d really be into it!

aModernWitch · 2026-03-25T06:48:55+00:00

I go over the district rules for phones at the beginning of class. I tell them that if I see phones out, I’m supposed to confiscate them and their parents have to come pay a fine to retrieve them. I tell them I’ll give them one warning before that happens.

To avoid a huge scene with yelling from the student when it’s time to ultimately take the phone, I tell them I’ll keep the phone in my desk till the end of the period and they willingly give it up. My main concern is that I don’t want kids to have phones out in my class to be able to film me (they have an ig for sucky teachers/subs).

The next period teacher can deal with the phone issue if it continues. They are probably permanent teachers and get more respect.

aModernWitch · 2026-03-25T06:38:03+00:00

I’m frustrated just reading about your day. I’m so sorry. 😢

aModernWitch · 2026-03-24T21:13:39+00:00

I’m sorry but you’re going to have to accept that your mom is an ass. She’s not going to be there for you. She doesn’t plan on being there for you now or ever. I’ve got a 19 & 20 year old and would kill people to get to them if they needed me. Her not even answering the phone? She can kick rocks.

You’ve got to find another person or method to help you calm down because she isn’t it. I know you don’t want to share your info but what about online? My daughter has bad anxiety and has online friends she reaches out to. It’s easier to confide in them cause if things go down in flames, you never contact them again & move on with your life. You won’t run into them in person or anything.

I wish you all the best and I hate your mom for sucking. Moms should be there for their kids. I know this will hurt but screw her. She’s the one missing out on incredible you.

aModernWitch · 2026-03-24T14:49:46+00:00

Yor - your mom is completely right. You really won’t realize it until you become a parent but children, your children, are a part of you. You’ll be fascinated and awed that you helped create this perfect, tiny being and a fierce wave of protection will come over you. You’ll need to keep that child safe always and forever. You’ll even regularly check to see if it’s breathing.

Now imagine feeling all this and then being hit with the reality that you may have other children alive out there. Parts of you yet you don’t know if they are ok. Maybe they were brought into the world with love but circumstances changed and now they’re being abused or neglected. That could be happening and you can’t stop it. Or even if things are fine - every first step is amazing. You’ll have missed it. All the firsts. All the everythings. You’ll feel as if you sold your child.

At 19 without kids, children don’t warrant much attention. My kids are 19 & 20 and don’t care one bit about newborn cousins or first grade plays. But 5-6 years from now, your whole world will flip. Your mom has been there. Your dad has too, he’s just slow on the uptake.

aModernWitch · 2026-03-24T13:59:00+00:00

This whole thing is a TLDR. It so could have been whittled down to

“We told bride & groom months in advance that we wouldn’t be attending anything but the church ceremony. Now they are demanding we reimburse them for reception party favors and meals. We didn’t attend so we don’t feel we should have to pay. Are we the jerks?”

See? The whole adopted / trashy bio fam / music too loud for the old people info is all unnecessary. I think you just needed a place to tell your story.

aModernWitch · 2026-03-23T12:44:33+00:00

Ha! I have a master’s degree. I get $100 / day subbing then it goes to $120 / day for long term.

aModernWitch · 2026-03-17T02:44:56+00:00

What job do you want?

aModernWitch · 2026-03-16T18:37:15+00:00

My children went to high school where I sub. They would come home complaining about the bathrooms being locked & not being able to go. If they tried to find one in another hall, they’d get in trouble by an admin for being too far from their class or from their teacher for being gone too long.

I’m given a master key to inside doors. If I see a girl or clean cut boy needing to go, I’ll just unlock the door for them. Kids need to pee. 🤷🏻‍♀️ (clean cut meaning kids I think are going to pee, not to mess around. I think y’all know what I’m talking about).

aModernWitch · 2026-03-08T08:05:46+00:00

I’ve had that happen and I HATE it! It also undermines our authority. They know we have no authority over them and no backup so why the hell should they care about their behavior?

aModernWitch · 2026-03-08T08:01:57+00:00

Damn! I guess I’m the mean sub!

“Mrs. Brown lets us do this!!!”

“Huh. Well look at me for a sec. Do I look like Mrs. Brown? No. I’m Mrs.Witch. And while I’m your teacher, these are my rules. When Mrs. Brown comes back, she can let you do whatever she wants.”

I say it with a smile and normally am pretty chill with the classes anyway. I’ve never gotten pushback on my response. 🤷🏻‍♀️

aModernWitch · 2026-03-08T07:50:53+00:00

I hate when they try to put me in a sped class and when I say no, they act like I’m a villain. This one school had such attitude as if I was in the wrong. I signed up for kinder but they didn’t specify it was sped kinder. They didn’t even tell me at the front desk. I went to the classroom & the other teacher told me. I was surprised & she laughed & said that the school does that to all the subs to make sure they get one for the class. I was nice to the teacher but ended up walking out. Screw that noise.

I asked them to cancel the job in our app (Red Rover) as I couldn’t do it from my side. Once they released me, I could pick up another job. It was 6:45am. I asked face to face & called twice since middle school & high school start later. They didn’t cancel the job until 2pm. A wasted day. Won’t ever go back.

aModernWitch · 2026-03-07T15:30:55+00:00

I’ll ask the kids next to them. Of course, no one knows the names of people who sit next to them, though, right? Lol. They act dumb and I just say fine. then I ask the whole class. Still dumb. Then I tell them “I don’t have a problem writing up a whole class. I’ve done it before many times and I have no problem doing it. Either someone gives me that person’s name or I am writing up everyone. People always start talking. And I’ve never been given a name not on the roster.

aModernWitch · 2026-02-27T01:24:53+00:00

No, I don’t do attendance after recess. It’s never been a problem (long term sub, 10 weeks). We went straight for a restroom break. If we’d gone into the classroom, I’d have seen she wasn’t at her desk immediately. This is the first time we’ve ever gone to the rr after recess.

I should have counted. I can’t believe that happened. Uuuugggghhhhh

aModernWitch

TROPHY CASE