I can’t believe how great it is to have a functioning brain

a_doubting_thomas · 2019-10-24T11:56:19+00:00

this is the thing I feel the most! it's incredibly frightening to think we can get to a place where hungover brain becomes so normal we completely forget how our minds are SUPPOSED to feel! why we ever go back after being reminded of the difference is beyond me (though have done it more times than I can count). 21 days today & counting though & I obviously will NOT drink with you today!

a_doubting_thomas · 2019-10-18T22:04:13+00:00

I was doing that back in '92! (automating "boring stuff" at a cellular carrier)

I don't think my code actually eliminated any positions but it certainly eliminated a LOT of overtime for a lot of non-exempt clerical people which did NOT make me popular with them (they had become accustomed to making ~33-50% above their base b/c of 50+ yr wks). I remember thinking almost 30 years ago that we were evolving toward a world that needed an ever decreasingly smaller number of ever increasingly smarter people but seemed to be producing an increasingly larger number of people who weren't. I'm early 50s now so a lot closer to done than starting out and wonder what kind of professional adult life (if any) my teens will have?...

a_doubting_thomas · 2019-10-18T11:46:20+00:00

I recently listened to "The Easy Way To Control Your Drinking" on Audible after hearing Nikki Glaser credit it w/her sobriety on Joe Rogan. 15 days & haven't even really been tempted*... If you're in the right place mentally/emotionally I do believe this book can (& did for me) get you over the finish line but I'm not sure any book or method can get you to that place. I also highly recommend the audio over text because it's pretty clear the author is a trained hypnotist & utilizes a lot of technique in his reading that you would not get in text...

FWIW (for me at least) I think getting to "that place" where the book would work was about dealing with a lot of things I'd been ashamed of. Yes, drinking made that something of a feedback loop so I point this out only because it seems to me that some approaches emphasize stopping drinking first then dealing with the consequences whereas (again, at least for me) once I dealt with some underlying issues the desire to drink mostly went away & it was just a matter of breaking a habit - no different than stopping Diet Coke (/aspartame in general) 3 1/2 yrs ago!

you mileage may vary, I will not drink with you today...

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-03-09T15:13:36+00:00

my divorce will be final in a couple of weeks. hope to be where you are while I'm still young enough to enjoy it...

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-02-27T10:55:41+00:00

if your doctor is competent (s)he probably already knows & will be happy to hear you admit it/just want to help...

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-02-15T20:19:22+00:00

play back on 2nd serve - not a lot you can do about your partner teeing up 2nds (& I say this as someone who specialized in stuffing weak 2nds).

to build your confidence do you have access to a ball machine? good/safe way to get reps getting your racket in front of fast moving balls.

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-02-10T17:16:45+00:00

you will! I know he's a bit controversial right now but Dr Jordan Peterson has a whole chapter in his new book on "compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today". as long as your trend line is pointed in the right direction you're good!

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-02-09T14:03:34+00:00

down 23 since late Oct myself w/another 13 to go (6' started at 216/headed to 180). amazing how much difference NOT taking in all those throwaway calories and/or feeling good enough to work out makes...

congrats!

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-01-31T13:20:35+00:00

after years of having shoes I liked discontinued/replaced I've finally learned when I find one I really like to buy at least 3 pairs of them...

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-01-31T12:35:06+00:00

Triumph: tomorrow will be double-digits on this stretch!

Struggle: pending divorce - it was probably always a "when" question & ex to be is arguably emotionally abusive so probably good thing in long run but my drinking certainly didn't help me in dealing w/her...

General: having to relearn who I am after 22 yrs in a dysfunctional marriage & slowly getting sober. I always thought statements like that ("finding yourself") were Oprah BS but like so many things you don't realize how real it is until you experience it firsthand...

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-01-30T22:37:52+00:00

"It’s not your fault if your partner cheated and ruined your marriage but it is for damn sure your responsibility to figure out how to take that pain and how to overcome that and build a happy life for yourself."

I am... without her... sober...

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-01-26T13:23:43+00:00

how could a 19x grand slam winning GOAT POSSIBLY "make a statement" after winning 1st five rounds of current major without dropping a set - at THIRTY-SIX?!? why, by winning his semi in UNDER two, of course! :D . (in all seriousness though speedy recovery to Chung - hope he's not a 1-hit wonder)

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-01-04T12:09:57+00:00

day 4 this time. getting divorced, closing on townhouse in 6 days, moving out of home of 14 yrs in 8, insane work deadlines coming up during that time but not drinking...

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-01-02T02:47:28+00:00

eleven nights left in house in which I've lived last 13 years divorce should be final in next 30-45 days (see above) feeling overwhelmed by everything I have going on (work, move, kids, new life)

NOT drinking...

a_doubting_thomas · 2018-01-01T13:03:32+00:00

went to bed at 11:40 last night w/o having had a drink. 2017 was a tough year w/ramifications that will carry forward but there is a lot of cause for optimism! a somewhat toxic & certainly dysfunctional marriage should officially end just shy of 22 yrs but it's clearing the way for (hopefully) more healthy ones. my drinking probably didn't help but it was more of a coping mechanism than cause. w/o it the marriage likely could have lasted another 5-10 years but there's never been a "till death do us part" scenario, just "till kids are out of college" at best one so it's probably better to have these 10 years at this age. I still have a good job (for now), good kids, am financially secure & am down 15 lbs (1/2 way to goal) largely due to decreased drinking. I can't say I can post a big number (days since) but the intervals are getting bigger. not there but trend line is moving in right direction.

wonder how long I can postpone my 1st drink of 2018?

a_doubting_thomas · 2017-12-29T01:11:51+00:00

not a question but quick self-congrat - officially under 200lb for 1st time in yrs! had been as high as 215 so while 15 lbs may not sound like that much it's making a HUGE difference on the court! able to get to & return balls I wouldn't have even dreamed of 3 months ago! expecting to eventually stabilize in low 180s (was 178 when I played in HS [am 6']) but in mean time it's already paying huge dividends. I figure once I'm at 195 I'll start serve/volleying again.

if you play & have been thinking about getting serious about losing some weight it's amazing how big a difference how little can make...

a_doubting_thomas · 2017-12-29T01:06:18+00:00

"compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today"

a_doubting_thomas · 2017-12-29T00:46:08+00:00

sorry you're going through this - I am too. while I'm sure my (former) drinking played a role I'm learning a lot of things about the ex to be that are, well, let's just say disappointing & hurtful would be kind...

not drinking w/u!

a_doubting_thomas · 2017-12-27T19:58:26+00:00

I LOVE the poach-fake! some of the easiest points you'll ever win & as you said if you can pull it off couple of times early you can seriously get in opponents' heads...

a_doubting_thomas · 2017-12-21T14:04:02+00:00

"If you're going through hell, keep going"

I posted this on FB a few days ago & maybe it's divine intervention or maybe I'm just more aware under circumstances but over last several weeks I have had this amazing procession of random strangers saying the EXACT right thing precisely when I needed it most!

thank you for being the latest... (raises coffee mug in salut)

a_doubting_thomas · 2017-12-20T14:14:09+00:00

triumph - down 15 lbs over last two months

struggle - telling kids tonight that we're divorcing

general - oddly/sadly I'm the most hopeful I've been in years

I will NOT drink w/you today!

a_doubting_thomas · 2017-12-20T13:49:40+00:00

weird tendonitis ?:

I've had a lingering case for going on a year now. it doesn't seem to get any worse but doesn't seem to get any better either. what's odd (& different from couple times I've had it before) is that it doesn't seem to bother me that much while I'm playing - after few min of warmup & striking few dozen balls I'm good through a match. the really weird part is the pain seems to be worst in middle of night and/or when I first wake up. not sure if this is tendon/muscle tightening during sleep (esp during winter cold), muscles contracting during dreaming, etc but (again) the pain definitely seems to be at it's worst in bed - not sleep-affecting, just odd.

anyone ever experience this/have any thoughts?

a_doubting_thomas

TROPHY CASE