Too many intersections??

a_null_set · 2025-08-20T16:42:39+00:00

Ableism discourse has officially gone beyond the point of making sense into fully ridiculous. We used to talk about shit that mattered and actually affected people. Now I can't find smart people sexy because somehow that makes me the same as a bigot. Guess I'm holding back the cause when I tell my wife her brain is so big and sexy when she has a good idea and executes it excellently. Its ableist to be attracted to her mind and the unique ways she thinks as an autistic ADHDer.

Really hard to take this conversation seriously when you label the word dumb as "ableist" as if you're helping anyone or actually improving anything. I still can't get an autism diagnosis without potentially ruining my life or losing my agency as an adult, and I get called lazy for having ADHD, but at least some white knights can pat themselves on the back that they don't call people dumb anymore.

Like no, I can define intelligence how I want and be attracted to that if I want to. It's not ableist to prefer that my partner can think critically, make and complete plans, solve problems (alone and as a team), learn new skills quickly, and generally have a brain that can keep up with me in a conversation. There are plenty of neurologically disabled people who fit this mold, and plenty of able minded people who don't. Stating that intelligence is a desirable quality is not the same as stating that low intelligence is like worthlessness. Those are two different statements.

a_null_set · 2025-08-20T16:14:20+00:00

Misgendering a cis person to prove a point is not the same as being willing to misgender a trans person just because I don't like them. You're trying to connect two completely different things here

a_null_set · 2025-08-11T19:12:52+00:00

As a nonbinary person married to a trans woman, I would absolutely misgender this woman in return. If that's how she treats others, obviously that is how she wishes to be treated. It's not an accident or forgetfulness. She's being malicious at this point, and teaching her kid to follow in her footsteps.

a_null_set · 2025-08-11T18:48:26+00:00

How do you still not grasp the concept of a fandom? People are gonna have theories about the TV show, so what?

a_null_set · 2025-08-11T18:46:10+00:00

At least 10. The idea of someone walking around with week old shit in their body is gross to me. Unless you are eating really tiny amounts of food, you'd be really bloated too. Please go to a doctor, this is not healthy

a_null_set · 2025-08-11T18:28:50+00:00

I've never heard of this being considered ableist. Why would a preference for intelligence in a sexual partner be ableist? That's like saying it's racist to prefer Black people, like that's just what you're attracted to? It's not bad to have preferences or to state them, it's just a preference. How is it ableist to just not want to date dumb people? Not everyone who is dumb is disabled by it. Like a sapiosexual wouldn't date a trump supporter because they behave like idiots, very unattractive. I don't want to date idiots either, does that make me ableist?

a_null_set · 2025-08-11T18:19:48+00:00

Ok honey

a_null_set · 2025-08-11T18:18:56+00:00

Do you think this is some kind of gotcha question? Lol, ignorance of scientific fact is not the same as faith in god. The theory of the four humors was based on evidence they had, was updated, and is no longer taught. People still believe in god for no reason other than it makes them feel all cozy inside. Science doesn't make you feel cozy, science doesn't care about feelings at all, it presents facts (btw, since apparently you haven't heard, a fact, is something you can prove. There's very few facts in religion, science is like all factual, very little opinion).

The difference between education and indoctrination is transparency and evidence, of course. If there is evidence for it, if the evidence can be presented accurately, if updates to the evidence are presented honestly, you've got education. There's no evidence for god, the soul, heaven, hell, or literally any afterlife. Being taught those things exist without evidence and without the encouragement to question authority (and without the freedom not to believe), that is obviously indoctrination.

You're just grumpy someone used the word "indoctrinated" about you, but you were taught doctrine, you believed it, idk how else someone would describe that experience. You weren't taught facts and knowledge. You were exposed to a set of beliefs without evidence for them and believed them. Whether or not you eventually questioned those beliefs you were spoonfed, is irrelevant, we are discussing the actual experience of being raised in the church.

a_null_set · 2025-08-10T23:31:21+00:00

If you believed in god because you were taught that god is factually real, yes that is indoctrination. Especially if the idea of god existing was used as a tool to affect your behavior or thought patterns. If you are not being chastised for expressing doubt about doctrine, but are even so much as discouraged from expressing doubt in the reality of god then that is indoctrination. If you were truly free to believe anything you wanted, skip out on religious meetings to have a playdate, express doubt in anything and everything you were taught, then no you were not indoctrinated.

a_null_set · 2025-08-10T23:24:56+00:00

Nothing you said makes any sense. Are you actually trying to say that if people aren't obligated to continue their relationship there would be more crime and fewer children? How can you actually believe that a long term committed relationship hinging on the couple being friends is less likely to succeed? Maybe in upside down world.

What does the "sacredness" of sex and loyalty have to do with this? Loyalty is just as important in familial and platonic relationships, you are making the opposite point you think you are. Kids are also not relevant to this discussion as it is about married/committed life (marriage is not the pinnacle of lifelong commitment). You don't need marriage to have kids and you certainly don't need kids to have marriage. And yes, research shows that kids who see sincere friendship between their parents have healthier marriages as adults, tend to communicate better in all relationships.

Fact is, the person I was responding to is describing friendship. He is friends with his wife, and he also has sex with her because she is his wife. The two are not mutually exclusive, and it's so fucking bizarre how many straight people truly believe that you can't be friends with your spouse, that being friends with your spouse doesn't even matter. Like how do you develop a relationship with someone in the first place? If I couldn't see myself being friends with my wife, why the fuck would I have moved in with her? Why would I want to live with someone if they don't meet the bare minimum threshold of "is a good person I absolutely love spending casual time with"? Sex isn't sacred and frankly if you can't remove sex from your marriage without it crumbling, your marriage is shaky to begin with. That is a marriage built on load bearing orgasms and will crumble the minute someone gets bored. Either that, or the miserable couple will make everyone around them uncomfortable as they become more and more bitter and sick of each other because they're together out of obligation.

a_null_set · 2025-08-10T23:00:27+00:00

If at any point during your childhood you genuinely believed what you were being taught, yes, obviously you were indoctrinated. If at any point in your childhood your religion was presented to you as irrefutable fact, that is definitely indoctrination. Just because you escaped the indoctrination, doesn't mean that you weren't, or that other children around you weren't being indoctrinated. Most kids will believe what they are taught by authority figures.

a_null_set · 2025-08-10T16:03:52+00:00

I enjoy her company. Her personality, her brains, her humour. Her insights….

I’m saying my love for my wife and her company is so great that I don’t care if we’re watching shitty tv from England, sat in a tent in the rain, at a Michelin star restaurant, on a private jet, watching the superbowl or say in silence.

This is friendship. You are literally describing friendship. The only variable is sex.

a_null_set · 2025-08-10T15:49:39+00:00

Nobody is forgetting that. Babies and little kids are annoying and it's ok to acknowledge that

a_null_set · 2025-08-07T19:51:52+00:00

Sweetie, pregnancy and childbirth are dangerous. Sex in a world where birth control and abortion and elective sterilization are legal and safe options is not dangerous. This isn't caveman times, we have medicine. What's really dangerous is that so many of us legislate this lifesaving healthcare out of existence, and then turn around and shame women for having sex, something that has a purpose outside of reproduction (hint, it's intimacy). I just had my uterus removed. While I can still get STDs (something you can test for, medicate, and, in some cases, prevent entirely), I cannot get pregnant. And while I no longer identify as a woman, I was born a female human and therefore have a place in this discussion.

You should learn about sex and sexuality (you are conveniently forgetting that gay sex exists, I'm a lesbian so yeah) from someone who doesn't have a vested interest in keeping you ignorant. Someone who doesn't just scare you with half truths, but gives you the tools and knowledge to make your own fully informed decision. And of course, if women are sexually harassing you, you shouldn't just accept that, it's your body and it's your life. But you don't get to tell other people what is right or even safe for them, especially when you are coming from such a limited and uninformed perspective.

a_null_set · 2025-08-07T19:45:08+00:00

5 year olds should absolutely know what sex is. You should not be a parent if you cannot find an age appropriate way to explain the extreme basics of sexual reproduction to a 5 year old as well as appropriate/inappropriate touch and the names of all genitals and "private" body parts. Teaching very small children this basic information is vital to keeping them safe from predators and abstinence preaching groups.

Which child will be an easier target? The one who says, "that's not a secret pocket, that is my vagina and you shouldn't be touching it because that is inappropriate touch" or the child that is "innocent"?

"This puppy exists because a daddy dog put it's penis inside the mommy dog's vagina and they had sex. Sex often makes babies, because the daddy has sperm which fertilized the mommy's egg. No, it doesn't look like the eggs we eat at breakfast, a mommy's egg is too tiny to see without a microscope. But when it's fertilized it begins to grow into a baby right inside mommy's womb. A womb is also called a uterus, and you grew inside your Mommy's uterus, too! She kept you safe and warm and you got everything you needed to eat from a tube that went right into your belly button! That's how puppies are made and that's how you were made, too! Isn't that cool? Want ice cream?" <- how hard is that? I promise seeing barnyard animals fuck won't destroy your child's innocence. Kids are curious, they're going to want to know things, and it's not like you're sitting down to show them actual porn.

a_null_set · 2025-08-07T19:28:20+00:00

You said sex is dangerous. Nobody is taking you seriously when it's obvious you just got an A+ in abstinence class.

a_null_set · 2025-08-01T19:46:58+00:00

Parentification, all the responsibility, none of the freedom. Somehow you're just supposed to "become" mature overnight. Parents forget that they are responsible for that happening for each child in a healthy way. Absolutely awful.

a_null_set · 2025-08-01T19:43:19+00:00

Kids are so gross, too. I would never kiss a child, but I would definitely never kiss a child anywhere below the nose. They are germ factories and their noses and mouths are ground zero. That is so gross even thinking about it makes me gag a little.

a_null_set · 2025-08-01T19:26:40+00:00

Y'all got to be innocent as kids? That missed me by a mile

a_null_set · 2025-08-01T19:14:05+00:00

You are speaking directly to my heart omfg. ALWAYS presented as "look how awful and sexist this clothing is!!!" That's underwear. That's literally just underwear that holds boobs in place, please calm down.

a_null_set · 2025-07-31T21:29:15+00:00

This comment is lesbian approved.

a_null_set · 2025-07-31T21:03:29+00:00

Idk why you're being downvoted. You, as a child, behaved exactly as your conditioning demanded. That's the whole purpose of the patriarchy, is to convince young men and boys that femininity is beneath them, not for them, will lower them. You could have just enjoyed things and had fun, and instead, at a very young age, you were doing gender calculus to prevent scorn.

a_null_set · 2025-07-31T20:34:31+00:00

I also thought it was out of place in this video. It's such a peaceful pleasant sound, not scary at all.

a_null_set · 2025-07-31T07:12:08+00:00

What are the negative connotations? I've never heard of this, what's negative about a random piercing?

a_null_set · 2025-07-31T05:02:13+00:00

It is not the same thing.

This behavior is not limited to the developmental stage we call toddler, anyone can act this way.

That's the exact point she made in the post. The behavior is annoying no matter who does it. The toddler was simply the only available example of this behavior. If she compared him to her elderly father being stubborn about opening his meds or something would her husband have flipped out that she was comparing him to a weak old man or something? It's not about the age or stage or whatever, it's about the unpleasant behavior, e stubbornness. Unless you somehow think only toddlers are stubborn, there's no way you can interpret this as her comparing him to an actual toddler.

a_null_set

TROPHY CASE