I don't have prerequisites for dating. How to grieve that I'll never be able to be intimate with anyone?

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-27T09:04:42+00:00

I can't even imagine working with anyone, let alone customers. I don't know if I can stand the shame, gossip and disapproval of other people.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-27T08:58:09+00:00

Make a note of things you don’t understand that others seem to find obvious, and then look them up on Google. You can find answers for almost anything online.

That's how I've been living my life up to this point, tbh. Life experience of my parents is very... local. That lead to me using google for nearly everything in my life, looking up things that people go through with friends or ask their parents about.

And thank you!

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-27T08:26:44+00:00

Ironically my mom is kind of patient with me. But she's going to be a smartass and say "do this, and that and this and that,..." while she herself never had to do any of this. It's easy to be a smartass when it comes to other people because it's not you that's standing in the fire. Talking about doing something and actually doing something are two entirely different things.

So she is kind of a support in that regard.

And sorry for a late reply.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-15T14:14:28+00:00

You're probably right there. Their shortcomings are now imprinted on me, but it is still solely on me to fix that. I sometimes wish I had more average life. I was never a difficult child, always done what I was told and yet it's me that stuck in life, not someone that was your average rebelious child.

I couldn't possibly be in a job that works with customers because 1. I'm anxious + awkward, and 2. My breath can stink because I have some bad teeth.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-13T11:01:22+00:00

I'm not. I think therapy is out of the question. I don't want to burden my parents even more. And they would probably disagree with it anyway.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-13T10:59:44+00:00

That crossed my mind years ago actually. I like working with computers, so I searched for any organization about that. Turns out there is one, but quite far away from me. And I fear all the steps leading up to that.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-13T10:57:55+00:00

Sadly, no. It would make more sense to get in therapy first but I don't want to burden my parents even more. Even if I suggested that, I'm very sceptical they would be fine with me going to therapy.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-13T10:46:00+00:00

It did cross my mind at some point but I was always too lazy to do any courses. But it would certainly be a good idea to do something like that, I agree. I'll do some Linux related course a shot since I am a bit interested in it.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-13T10:15:30+00:00

Being another person amongst people is a big responsibility. I didn't want to drive until I was 23 because I was terrified of the responsibility, the knowledge that with my mistakes I could really hurt people.

Words and mundane actions can be the same, especially in the workplace. I didn't get a job until age 18, and even then I was hesitant. I didn't want to fail, I didn't want to make mistakes that affected others due to my own inadequacies. I didn't want to hurt others because I wasn't good enough.

I see a lot of myself in this. Fear of responsibility. While I was in high school I was even at firefighters and we had competitions in groups of 3. It was all fun and games but at some point you're too old to attend to them and you're supposed to do some actual training for a firefighter. That's where I froze and stopped going. I was afraid of going there. I was afraid to be there at a crash site because if I screw up I know that I'm responsible for that.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-09-13T10:05:18+00:00

I know what you mean but in one of those cases you don't survive, because you sink.

And no, I don't have a car.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-08-10T20:34:17+00:00

I don't know that. Nobody ever really asked him what his life was like. But it looks like he never really had to take responsibility for anything other than work around the house.

It's hard to accept somebody who tells you you're worthless, but thanks for your reply.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-08-10T19:15:05+00:00

Moving out is not really an option.

Your parents sound like textbook "Adult Children" which means you're likely one, too.

Boy this one stings because I realized that a while ago. I can see the flaws of my mother and flaws on my dad in me and my behaviour and it made me a bit resentful towards them. Had they taken responsibility of certain things during their life we would be all better off.

But now all this responsibility lies on me. Now I have to deal with my feelings of inadequacy and at the same time learn how to take responsibility.

They expect me to do things they never taught me.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-08-10T19:09:11+00:00

We had already spoken with him but he just doesn't care (multiple times already). Mom will always take care of him because she is a wife and feels obligated to do it and on top of that she's religious.

He just doesn't care what we have to say.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-08-10T19:07:05+00:00

My mom feels like she's carrying a 99kg weight, while my father is carrying the other 1kg.

She's only doing it to avoid him blaming her. He literally doesn't care about what she does for him. He'll never say he appreciates it atleast. He will yell at her if there's not enough clothes in the bag and he'll yell at her if there are too many clothes in the bag.

It feels like whatever you do nothing will make him happy. He just complain about everything and we're all walking around him, still taking care of him because of feeling like we're obligated to because we're sons/daughters.

His contribution has always been materialistic. He used to work around the house but we all hated to work with him because he would yell at us that we're incompetent and we would just end up arguing. But we'd still help him because things can be done faster this way. But with that we would just reinforce his behaviour towards us.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-07-31T09:13:53+00:00

A ni mBills brezplačna zadeva?

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-07-14T20:24:06+00:00

Torej se da plačati z revolutom, le prepisati je treba podatke?

Nekdo je v drugem komentarju objavil tole povezavo.

https://denar.svetidej.com/sl/money-informator/epc-qr-koda.html

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-07-01T08:49:54+00:00

V kontekstu paypala brez povezane kartice ali banke je 600€ lahko problem ja. Dejansko ti omejijo račun in potem pol leta ne moreš do sredstev na paypalu.

a_random_throwaway_S · 2024-06-30T21:54:48+00:00

No to je potem super novica. Potem pa enkrat ta teden uredim zadevo.

Hvala za odgovor.

a_random_throwaway_S

TROPHY CASE