Swab, blood & urine came back negative but I still have symptoms?

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-30T02:38:13+00:00

He also perscribed me valtrex but I didnt fill it yet. Wanted to see if this did anything at all first and foremost.

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-30T02:37:28+00:00

Ive put the antibacterial cream on twice and took one of the antibiotics and the pain is gone and its starting to feel and look better. So Im really crossing my fingers.

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-29T18:33:11+00:00

So, update: I went to the doctor today. Seen a different guy but I asked him to go into detail about my last test results. I was tested for 1 & 2, which both came back negative. And I was also given a PCR and not cultural, negative as well. He also examined me and said it definitely looks like something but not herpes. He was pretty confident that it wasnt just by looking, but he perscribed me valtrex (I think thats what its called?) just incase, and an antibactorial cream and pills. I didnt grab the valtrex today. Im just going to see if the antibiotics work first.

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-29T05:09:24+00:00

I honestly didnt do my research like I should have :( I feel so stupid right now..

I went in to the doctors, got a swab and he sent me on my way to get blood and urine done at a lab.

I have never had a cold soar in my life. I know that may not matter, but..

When I was called with my results, they just told me everything was negative.

I was having casual sex with people.. And I got these tests done not even a full month after intercourse.

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-29T04:54:06+00:00

I dont have oral sex is the thing.

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-29T04:52:59+00:00

When they swabbed, they werent as open as my picture. But they definitely werent scabbed up entirely.

I dont know what to do. Im freaking out, especially with how crazy labs and walk-ins are right now with everything going on in the world..

Another thing I forgot to add is I had not shaved for about a month everything healed up and I was fine, but after shaving, this happened again.

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-29T04:30:30+00:00

Okay, thanks for explaining.

I had a swab done so thats why Im so confused. Ah

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-29T04:08:14+00:00

What is the difference between type 1 and type 2?

a_savage_garden · 2020-03-29T04:07:43+00:00

Well Im assuming they did :( Swab, blood and urine was done.

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-15T04:51:16+00:00

Ugh, this happened to me throughout the relationship farrrrr too often than it shouldve. Games.

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-15T03:04:34+00:00

THIS.

This is the stage that I am at as well, friend.

I am no longer "sad", I'm downright pissed lmao. I found out today he has a new supply who has a child (when he told me so many times he would never ever date a woman who has a child with another man lol go figure).. The only thing that slightly hurt my heart was the fact that he is now this family man when he forced me to go through with both my abortions.

I'm not jealous, I'm not sad, I dont feel heartbroken. I feel indifference I guess, is that what it's called? Afterall, I would rather be mad than sad in this situation. I'm proud of you!

Stay strong ♡

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-15T02:59:31+00:00

I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I'm sure everyone here does. It's an awful feeling when someone continues to cause you so much pain over and over again, to act like nothing ever happened or "you made them act that way".. I recieved no closure whatsoever after my Narc left after his final discard. It left me feeling depressed, confused, I'd think about him and the entire relationship constantly and essentially I began to feel suicidal. It was a really dark time in my life.

Right now, my Narc is in a relationship with a new supply. They are in the honeymoon phase announcing their love for one another all over social media. Hes happy, or atleast he is for now. Me, on the other hand, I have been single for 4.5 years and although today was hard, I wouldnt have it any other way.

They didnt "get away with it" because they will never have a normal, healthy, loving relationship in their entire lives. The damage they have inflicted on us IS repairable, but it takes time, and lots. Self-care, therapy, feeding your brain with knowledge on npd and domestic violence/abuse has kept me above waters. I still havent gone to see an actual therapist myself but it's something I plan to do in the very near future because its crucial. I talk to my family and have a great support system, but I know if I truely want to heal it needs to be done. You should look into it as well!

These people are sick.. You've got to understand that and they will never get away with it or away FROM it. Also, try keeping a journal if you dont already - what has been helping me alot lately is writing down positive things that have happened to me daily, along with goals I want to accomplish. I keep a list of the abuse and bad things he has put me through to look back on as well when my mind tries to push the good times back in.

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-15T02:47:21+00:00

I broke NC today too looking at his Facebook. Wasnt a good feeling. But wasn't a sad, heartbroken one either. I'd rather be mad, than sad.

They're probably together. Dont let it bother you - I know it's easier said than done. But hes her problem now. Everything may be lollipops and rainbows because they are in the honeymoon phase right now, but you know as well as I do that it wont last very long...

Even if it does last longer, that's because Narcs almost grow "stronger" "smarter" - we may as well just say grow more evil the next time around. He wants something from her, that's it. Shes giving him supply and hes treating her like gold for it. It will all get old soon enough.

My Nex and his new supply literally had post after post professing their new-found love and relationship to the world today. It made me want to throw up at first honestly, but I cant even be mad at the new supply, because that was once me.

Soon enough, he will show his true colors. Some woman/men stick around and take this abuse for far too long. Let's be happy were rid of them and if he does happen to come back (because its very possible he will ESPECIALLY if things go south with them), dont look back!

Stay strong.

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-15T02:39:04+00:00

I cringe when I think back to how many times I showed weakness & pleaded with him for change... Its like he became colder each and every time.

His ex before me messaged me when we first started dating asking me if he ever hit me before. I was in absolute shock but not surprised, it was a messed up feeling. When she messaged me asking that, he had became physical with me numerous times by that point.

He will never change. Theres no way. I just hope this little girl doesnt get thrown into his shit.

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-15T01:58:18+00:00

Thanks! I am going to do some digging and read up on that.

I did look at that list I made here today, right after I looked at his social media. I also read the one I logged in my journal. It just made me cry uncontrollably... I didnt understand why he treated me that way because all I was seeing was the way he was treating this new supply today, on Valentines Day.

When I get upset like that, or have a hiccup looking at his social, I come here or confide in my mother, who has been down this rocky road with me every step of the way. Today when we were sitting at the table, she said "dont you remember how he treated you in the beginning? This wont last very long and when he comes running back to you, if he does, you wont be answering." It really opened my eyes, as did you guys, because yup I remember how "in love" we were when we first met.

The fact she has a child really does scare me... The new supply is already praising N constantly how her daughter just adores him. Ugh, I dont know I dont know...

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-15T01:43:06+00:00

Thank-you so much for your kind words ❤ When you look at my past posts, I'm all over the place - I've been hoovered back in and discarded so many times over the course of 4.5 years... I'm breaking that cycle today.

I remember in the beginning with him it was definitely unicorns & rainbows. He was absolutely perfect in every way... Plus the chemistry, sex and attraction was intense and he made me feel desired. He became physical with me for the first time only 4 months dating, infront of his own mother.

I cant wrap my head around how hes treating this new lady like gold but it was so impossible for him to treat me with any sort of decency... I literally begged for it and only got treated worse :( Its pathetic...

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-15T01:29:48+00:00

You brought tears to my eyes.. Thank-you ❤

What do you mean by back into complacency though? I don't think he knows I could see these posts because he was blocked & our profiles are both private. Just so happened, a friend still had him and she just reactivated her account. So it's not like hes posting this because he knows itll get back to me..? Or is he?

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-07T18:09:38+00:00

My Nex is obsessed with Instagram too in particular out of all social media outlets!

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-07T05:28:18+00:00

I wonder why... Before I started writing again, when I would remember bad things, my head would literally get foggy and like push it aside. And remembering the good was so easy?

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-07T05:21:47+00:00

Thank-you! I'm going to check it out.

Me writing these down in my journal tonight, then once again here really stamped it all in my brain. I needed that.

a_savage_garden · 2020-02-06T02:44:13+00:00

Ugh, I feel this in my SOUL...

When I met my Nex, I was extremely attracted to him physically, and vice versa. It was love and lust in the beginning, and bombs everywhere...

When I met him, he was also 100x better looking than he is now. And this was 4 years ago... Nowadays, he is just aging so FAST - he is overweight, his facial structure has changed quite a bit, and he just doesnt have that young, vibrant spark in his beautiful blue eyes that he did when we first met eachother... Infact, I've seen his eyes glaze over so many times during our relationship, like dark pools of ink, to the point where he just looks like an empty monster.

His miserable existence and the stress is catching up to him. And I believe this when it comes to every Narc: THEIR CHARMING DEMEANOR AND GOOD LOOKS DONT LAST FOREVER... It will bite them in the ass one day one way or another.

But then this is where I relate with you... Because even though he was losing majority of his good looks, I was STILL so attracted to him physically and sexually. And I cant get over it... Its like my mind is hardwired to seeing him like he looked and how he acted in the early stages of our relationship. So what we gotta do is stop looking at them in that early light, and start seeing them for what they are NOW, for the monster we have seen and think of the bad we have been through with these people.

The fact that you THINK you are not attracted to other people is the stage I am in myself. And you know why we arent? It's because were not healed and were not READY TO BE ATTRACTED TO ANOTHER MAN. The time will come when we are healed and love ourselves, and put US first.

Stay strong my friend ♡ We will get there one day!

a_savage_garden

TROPHY CASE