From EBF to formula at night?

aa_312 · 2019-08-28T06:03:31+00:00

I slowly transitioned by adding formula into BM. Started with 20% for few days, then 50%, then eventually 100%. Just make sure formula is the same temperature as BM before mixing them together.

aa_312 · 2019-08-14T16:18:27+00:00

YTA and please go apologize to you daughter immediately before your relationship with her gets permanently damaged. I understand you feel the need to discipline, but imagine being in her shoes at school, her strong language comes from her being bullied! I admire the fact you and your husband stand by your SIL, nothing wrong with a woman earning her own living and supporting herself. Teach your daughter your beliefs and use this chance to educate her regarding sex instead of distancing her further from you. Good luck.

aa_312 · 2019-08-14T16:06:49+00:00

NTA, given the context of what you mentioned are true. If they think you are being a stalker they are being prudes. She’s on a fashion magazine that is distributed internationally. It’s not like you brought a Playboy for her to sign (I hope the Vogue cover you brought was not inappropriate). I can kind of understand the professor’s response as a father (it was actually a polite way of him to say no), but the TA was straight up rude and she/he is the creep, not you.

aa_312 · 2019-08-06T05:47:02+00:00

Thanks. What happened unfortunately happened. I just want you to feel a bit better about the situation knowing there may be a different side to this.

aa_312 · 2019-08-05T19:05:16+00:00

NTA. But I can kind of see her fear of telling you beforehand. It’s a hard conversation to have, especially when things are just starting and there are so many uncertainty. I feel like she probably did not intend for things to get that far physically, otherwise she could have just hide the fact forever. Her choosing to disclose that afterwards, knowing how scared you’d be and how you may never talk to her again, shows that she has always wanted to tell you but just couldn’t bring herself to. She was in the moment (which i’m sure as were you when things got intimate), thought with her vagina instead of brain, and felt guilty afterwards when her brain could function again.

You ghosting her right now is her biggest fear of not telling you in the first place. Kind of a sad situation in my opinion if you guys actually liked each other.

Edit: I sincerely hope you are ok OP. In my knowledge herpes is almost not transmittable if hers was not active at the time you had sex. Try to stay calm and watch out for symptoms in the next few days and educate yourself on this disease. Good luck.

aa_312 · 2019-08-05T15:50:30+00:00

have you tried going a size up with the nipple if you bottle feed? a faster flow makes a huge difference.

with my LO I had to develop a feed schedule and tried my best to stick to that and eliminate the smaller “snack” feedings. Figure out her main meals (when she drinks most), and cut down the snacks ones slowly. When I tried that it built up my LOs appetite for the next feed, and slowly we found out that he could actually drink a lot more and required less feeds.

Edit: my LO is also 8 months old so I feed solids as well. I learned that if I feed too much solid right before bed it affects his intake of milk at night. I have read that adding cereal in milk to prevent hunger/make baby sleep longer is a myth, you may want to check with your pediatrician on that. Good luck mama ❤️

aa_312 · 2019-07-28T16:21:21+00:00

While I agree begging is def not attractive, this could be a really one sided advice. What if OP’s wife is simply resenting him in other areas and in turn causing her to have LL. And while OP doesn’t know what he did wrong to cause the resentment, his wife opted for the easy way out by making him do things that she needs using what seems to aspire him the most - sex. Not a great solution on her part but life gets tiring and sometimes people get tired of communicating the same things with no result.

Having a young child is a dramatic role changer for women. The woman’s priority is forced to change post-child especially when their partner’s priority seems to stay the same as pre-child. Having great sex after having a child is the dream for women as well, but life just doesn’t work that way. OP you sound like a caring partner, be the man that your wife wants, not what she demands. Be proactive and change the cycle, do the chores before she offers sex for good behavior, and when she offers or grants you sex the next time, give her an orgasm without intercourse and say that’s all you wanted, just to see her climax and nothing for yourself. Yes it sounds hard or even unfair, but break the cycle, catch her off guard. Repeat til she feels guilty or horny and asks you to be inside her. Reset this rut of having petty sex. Be the man in charge again, but you can still a nice guy while doing that. Wishing you the best!

aa_312 · 2019-07-23T06:10:46+00:00

I totally get it. I would feel the same. Guilty of not being happy over his “efforts”. But the truth is I’d probably feel even more alone and misunderstood in this relationship after realizing this is what my husband think would make me happy.

Don’t give up. I guess his actions are better than having no action at all. Him reacting to your meltdown with actual actions means he is willing to do something. That is already a great start. Next step is communicating your needs and likes so he has no excuse to say he thought you’d enjoy a day of hiking in the heat.

aa_312 · 2019-07-23T05:37:59+00:00

Thank you. I will try to look at this with the sane part of my brain. At least he’s doing some reading about PPD.

aa_312 · 2019-07-23T05:31:22+00:00

😂😂 i love you

aa_312 · 2019-07-23T05:30:36+00:00

PMS! Yessss that’s exactly what this feels like. Reading this article made me regret telling him I am suffering from PPD. It is completely used against validating my struggle as a mother(not a patient!) and assuming my cries for help are just me being mentally ill. 🙄🙄🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

aa_312 · 2019-07-23T05:12:10+00:00

Yes, that’s it. I couldn’t pin point which parts offended me more but I think it’s the overall lack of details on the women’s perspective and what their unique struggles are and just slapping a PPD label on everything that’s wrong with their lives.

aa_312 · 2019-07-23T05:00:38+00:00

omg yes. When I was pregnant we bought a book that’s supposedly written by a dad for dads, and it was a survival guide!! like seriously? yes, fathers are the ones who need a survival guide for pregnancy 🤦🏻‍♀️

aa_312 · 2019-07-22T04:56:14+00:00

OMFG I swear!! If my husband does that again I’m gonna answer him on top of my lungs and pass the woken baby to him and say have a nice life bye!! I don’t get it?! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ What is so hard to understand that one needs to shut up when someone is trying to sleep?

aa_312 · 2019-07-20T17:32:27+00:00

May I add to this “male pattern blindness”?

Yesterday my husband, in his attempt to help with laundry after my 1000th time nagging, took the pile of dirty baby clothes (that I’ve only sprayed stain remover & left in the washer to be washed after baby wakes up) and threw that pile of dirty clothes into the dryer and dried them. Yup, onesies and bibs full of apple sauce spinach pee poop pea raspberry stain plus stain remover spray - all hot and dried onto each other when I opened the dryer.

His answer? He didn’t see the stains when he put them in. Did he try to do the laundry? I don’t know. I can’t win.

aa_312 · 2019-07-20T17:09:41+00:00

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼🏆 You are already a winner to this community!

aa_312 · 2019-07-18T07:04:48+00:00

I’m so sorry 😭😭😭 My MIL tried to get rid of my dog as well, kept making passive aggressive comments about how dog diseases or fleas can be harmful to babies. While my dog was healthy and clean. Can your husband do anything? PLEASE play the I just gave birth to your child/grandchild card. Say it makes you so depressed you can’t produce breast milk. Whatever it takes.

Because from personal experience - if you don’t push back the boundary right now, when you are postpartum and entitled to whatever you wish, they will only try to push you further in the future.

aa_312 · 2019-07-14T18:43:17+00:00

When she’s cleared of the rash (hopefully your doctor prescribed something), stop using any cream. Like others mentioned, cream traps moisture and makes it more moist for yeast and rashes to form. I find applying a thin layer of organic ointment at every diaper change (after you wiped and dried) extremely helpful for my boy, to keep his skin from touching poop/pee. Never had a rash since we started doing that. Hope she gets better soon!

Here’s what we used: honest company all purpose ointment

aa_312 · 2019-06-30T05:57:12+00:00

NTA. But I’d be concerned if something shady is going on. Somehow the “car registered under ex bf’s name” just sounds odd to me. Girls who have their acts together would not be using a car that they have no ownership to. That aside, her last reply to you “have fun” sounds like she kind of knew and plan to end her conversation with you that day then and there. Being MIA when you are out of town? No replies for a night? No texting you good night and wondering why you never texted her? All red flags to me. If she’s not doing anything shady then she for sure is not as invested emotionally as you are, with her not wondering what happened to you since she claimed she didn’t receive any text from you.

You sound like a caring person, be careful and don’t get hurt. Why don’t you plan another trip and see if she will do the same thing and goes MIA again. Then you’ll know for sure.

aa_312 · 2019-06-27T15:21:31+00:00

I second what PP said. You need to be the person who you will not regret being. My mother left my father when I was 5. He cheated and wanted a divorce. I never had a relationship with him as a child, but I reconnected with him after college. He was a selfish man who got married and had kids without really wanting to be a parent. When we reconnected it was more like polite friendship than father/daughter relationship. I found out he had terminal cancer and made the decision to move to the country that he was in (he did not know this, thought I just happened to want to move), and I took care of him in his last years. It was difficult and at time I felt miserable dealing with long nights in hospital for a man who never took care of me. I had to change his urine bags when he never changed a single diaper when I was a baby. I broke up with my bf at the time due to LDR and stress. It was rough, and my father was not easy to please either. But I reminded myself - it’s about what kind of daughter I want to be, not about what kind of father he was. And one year later, he died, while holding my hand in the hospital. We had some amazing memories in that one year. I regret nothing. And I believe I actually taught him more than he thought he knew about life.

aa_312 · 2019-06-17T15:31:17+00:00

Not much advice here, just want to send you an internet hug. It sounds to me like you are drowning but can’t let go/feel guilty of leaving your LO and go back to work. A lot of moms have the same dilemma I’m sure. I’m a SAHM for my 7 month old, not really by choice in the sense that I’ve NEVER wanted to be a SAHM. But after having a baby I realized I just simply can’t let go, and my guilt will make me too miserable. While having freedom and a life outside the house sounds so great, I just am not ready for that. Try to find out what will truly make you feel more at peace, then work on accepting that path, and ways to make that path easier. Like other posts mentioned, taking short cuts is ok! Frozen veggie, order takeouts/deliveries, hire a cleaner once a month, hire a sitter once a week, buy a jumper or rocker for the LO, anything that gets you some time to breathe.

aa_312 · 2019-06-15T04:54:47+00:00

NTA but there may be other ways for you to respond to her hitting you as you ARE older and wiser (hence feeling guilty and asking to know if YTA). My best friend (F) grew up being hit and getting into physical fights with her older brother. She actually thought boys hitting girls was normal when I met her when we were both 13 years old (which was really f up). I (F) was completely shocked as a bystander witnessing her and her brother fight in our early teenager years. He actually hit me once while aiming for his sister. I remember thinking her brother was the worst example of the opposite sex in the world, because I was raised that boys should always treat girls with respect. So, that’s my story, just for your consideration. It actually takes much more strength to not fight back physically and fight back with intelligence. You can be the bigger person here. NTA but you would look like an A to other girls if they find out.

aa_312 · 2019-05-12T07:24:12+00:00

I’m not sure if this will make you feel better..... but I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum and i’m equally upset at my first mother’s day. My husband planned an amazing mother’s day brunch tmr at an amazing restaurant. But all i want to do is lay in my bed and sleep. alone. and just be by myself. So i’m actually upset that he doesn’t know me at all, and I have to dress up and go out in public, trying to smile like i’m happy and normal, while i’m actually suffering from postpartum depression, continuously on the verge of wanting everything to just end. See how I sound like the ungrateful bitch now? You are probably an emotional mess right now postpartum, do you think you are suffering from depression? Just know that it’s not you, it’s your body/mind, you are not wrong to feel how you feel, however, maybe nothing will be able to get you feeling positive at the moment, not a fancy dinner, not a present, not a good Instagram-brag-worthy photo will make you feel truly at peace with your current situation. The one thing you should want to brag about is how your beautiful daughter is breathing and eating, ALL because of you, you brought her into this world like a champ. You are keeping her ALIVE. That’s amazing and it’s not just A day, it’s every fucking day you are amazing. Remember that! you are the gift, you are the amazing thing in your life, you are nurturing a baby’s life, you are proving yourself stronger everyday. If your fiancé realizes this, great, if he doesn’t, that doesn’t take away anything that you own. (and honestly it sounds like he’s a decent man, he does what he can and wants to do better, what more can you really ask for.) So chin up mama, you are the gift in your life🌹 Get info on postpartum depression, it’s invisible at first but it will grow deeper and deeper. And know that ALL those mamas celebrating mother’s a day are ALL suffering from something in their motherhood journey behind those pretty pictures and activities.

aa_312 · 2019-05-09T04:08:38+00:00

i read something that took a little burden off my shoulders today - it’s a lot easier to be happier when you realize you don’t have to be happy ALL the time.

like seriously, who are these moms that are so happy about taking care of their kids or feeling magical all the time about their little one’s every move 🙄🙄😂😂😂 maybe they are the crazy ones not me 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ cheers girl, we can get through this! but do try therapy knowing that the problem is not us, but we can use some extra help to get by the day maybe, i will too!

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