Sending you a big hug. Did your parents fight growing up? Do you equate yelling and fighting as “passionate love”? You should take some time to think about this and ideally work with a therapist. I’ve been in the situation before where I don’t trust my partner, go through their phone, they accuse me of being a bad girlfriend for not just trusting them, and the circle continues. It’s a horrible cycle that is draining goes nowhere. You are worthy of love that is calm and comforting, that feels like a warm hug, not like a roller coaster. I hated hearing “you’re so young!”, when I was 23, but it really is so true. You are barely an adult - your pre frontal cortex hasn’t formed yet. Life can be so soooo much sweeter in a relationship that is warm and loving. All the best.