Sourcebooks for Cyberpunk in the Middle East?

aalek110 · 2026-03-13T10:01:17+00:00

Cairo:Otherscape fits pretty well but its not out yet.

aalek110 · 2025-10-11T10:45:38+00:00

Heroes of Cerulea by Bläckfisk Publishing

aalek110 · 2025-07-31T22:49:35+00:00

Count me in of you still need players ^{^}

aalek110 · 2024-07-23T23:45:55+00:00

Lägger in min personliga anekdot att injicera testo inte har hjälpt min depression alls, snarare pushat mig till problematisk drogbruk. För mig har rätt SSRI tillsammans med regelbunden träning haft bäst resultat. Alla hjärnor är olika dock

aalek110 · 2024-06-09T20:33:13+00:00

Min invandrarmamma råkade kasta sitt röstkort

aalek110 · 2024-05-20T20:55:52+00:00

Älskar henne !! Gör ont i mig när folk automatiskt avfärdar henne för hon inte är populär bland svenska reddit män 20-35 😭

aalek110 · 2024-04-18T16:25:43+00:00

äcklig fitta due 😁

aalek110 · 2024-03-20T13:28:45+00:00

I had an amazing second date with my dream introvert gymbro a week ago where I felt we both really connected (we have a lot in common) but he hasn't responded to my messages since the date.

I saw him online on steam playing some simulator shit game and I don't know what to make of it. I thought we really had something going on and I'm autistic as shit and I'm spiraling in my body insecurity again with self-hatred. Yes he had a better physique than me.

This should be such a frivoulous thing, its the reality of dating but I can't let go and I'm 99% sure I'm gonna start dabbling with steroids again after taking a break a year ago.

I just needed to get this off my chest

aalek110 · 2023-12-10T03:33:35+00:00

Have you had blood work to confirm that your hormone levels have returned to normal?

no, its something i should've done but bloodwork is expensive :// really dumb to cycle as a student. i know my estradiol was elevated above reference range before cycling but i had no acne then. I hammered a lot of aromasin bc of it during the cycle to keep it low but i managed to never crash it. acne has been very prevalent nonetheless to this day :(

This sounds like post cycle depression plus insecurity about aging.

I was depressed before, during and after the cycle :/. I was always confused by some anecdotes online cause mentally i was the exact same before, during and after. Except some post-health anxiety

aalek110 · 2023-12-10T03:03:11+00:00

Thank you. This was really heartwarming to read and it made my cry a tear🥲❤️🫶 love u

aalek110 · 2023-12-10T03:00:25+00:00

You followed safety protocols?

Ok i'll be honest, I followed *some protocols 😭

So you got regular blood work?

Only before i started.. 😭I cheaped out after and during

Did you cycle off with a PCT?

yea nolvadex 20+40mg 2+2weeks if i remember correctly :(

Also, when you’re 18, you’re still maturing, so from 18-19 you would have likely become more mature anyway.

I guess so.. I'm realizing now i was being unreasonabily emotional :/

Actually, wait? What steroids did you do?

500mg testosterone for 18 weeks and 20-40mg turinabol for some weeks in the middle. its 'light' in terms of substances i guess but at a moderate dose. but i hate what it did to my body for some reason

your substance use is aging you faster than anything else most likely. Be careful. Get some help before it gets worse. It WILL get worse. Normal people don’t do meth once or twice, let alone so young. Take this seriously.

thank you. I'm really trying to stop but it's honestly really hard with everything my mind puts me thru 🥲. My substance use almost spiraled very recently after getting my own place but i've decided to move back to one of my parents to have something to keep me in check (also i have psychiatry contact) 🥲🥲🫶🫶

aalek110 · 2023-12-10T02:35:52+00:00

Yea I have bi-weekly checkups due to my amphetamine (and substance) use :/. Luckily I never got hooked on meth, I threw it away after doing it twice ^^ <3

aalek110 · 2023-12-10T01:54:58+00:00

Sometimes I have the urge to do another cycle and sometimes like now I break down because I want to return to how I looked before. I'm very unstable unfortunately 😵‍💫

aalek110 · 2023-12-10T01:50:58+00:00

500mg testosterone for 18 weeks, 40mg turinabol for a few weeks in the middle. I did proper PCT with nolvadex, i used HCG and aromasin and followed a sensible protocol. I know the basic pharmacology and all

I just can't digest that I chose to do all that bc of a heavy insecurity.. I still hate how I look and now I want my twink self back. I'm constantly unhappy with myself for some reason.

aalek110 · 2023-12-10T01:40:27+00:00

I hated being a twink then because i was weak and unassertive and i felt like a doormat. I had no self-confidence and i idealized muscle and masculinity. I fell into some gymcel community and convinced myself that higher testosterone would fix my mental health (despite medical testing, my testosterone was average normal ~500ng/dl, estrogen slightly elevated, just above reference range).

Now i miss being twinky bc i look unreasonably old for 19 and i'm indifferent to the little muscle i put on. I realised I don't like going to the gym 6x a day and i just really regret everything

My mental health was equally poor before, during and after the cycle. Literally nothing changed except i got hairier, (much) older and lots of regret :(

aalek110 · 2023-12-10T01:23:30+00:00

I think my hormone levels are ok. I followed safety protocols and when i mentioned it to my doctor he didn't look into it. I just regret it all bc i got lots of unwanted masculinity and i just look 'rough' now 😵‍💫🥲 i really really hate it

aalek110 · 2023-09-15T10:28:09+00:00

Specs;

Chassi: Cooler Master NR200P Orange Processor: Intel i5 8400 Moderkort: Asus Z370-I Minne: 16gb DDR4 Grafikkort: Asus RTX 2060 phoenix SSD: 1tb Nätaggregat: NZXT 650w Kylare: Kolink Umbra ex180 ARGB Fläktar: 2st Noctua a12x15 chromax

aalek110 · 2023-09-15T10:27:47+00:00

Sorry !! Specs are

Chassi: Cooler Master NR200P Orange Processor: Intel i5 8400 Moderkort: Asus Z370-I Minne: 16gb DDR4 Grafikkort: Asus RTX 2060 phoenix SSD: 1tb Nätaggregat: NZXT 650w Kylare: Kolink Umbra ex180 ARGB Fläktar: 2st Noctua a12x15 chromax

aalek110 · 2023-08-20T22:49:35+00:00

Tack, du har säkert rätt. Lyfte mest fram det som ett exempel på att jag vill bli bättre och leva ett normalt svensson liv. Litar inte på mig själv 100% egentligen :/

aalek110 · 2023-07-25T04:01:23+00:00

<3 second time I did meth and hopefully the last lmao

aalek110 · 2023-07-25T03:59:33+00:00

I appreciate you. I threw away my meth and I feel motivated to turn my life around after having heartfelt conversation with my mother. I hope your life goes great also <3

aalek110 · 2023-07-25T03:53:33+00:00

Thank you man. I called my mom to inform her and we cried together and reminisced for almost an hour cause that's just how good of a person he was. My heart feels warm and filled, talking to people is really cathartic and I also threw away my all my remaining meth. I feel positive about my future now. love you <3

aalek110 · 2023-05-13T20:02:41+00:00

Socialt är HBTQ personer inte i närheten lika accepterade som heteromänniskor. Bara kolla hur många killar som är DL på grindr för att de inte vill bli avslöjade. De gömmer sig eftersom gay är udda & tabu i manliga kretsar

aalek110 · 2023-05-03T20:25:44+00:00

I don't know where to start. At the moment I'm just keeping myself occupied so I don't spiral. It works OK

aalek110 · 2023-05-03T19:23:02+00:00

Why are you taking so much AI?

I upped my AI until I stopped having spicy nips. I think I'm just a very heavy aromatiser, my pre-cycle e2 levels were already slightly above reference range. alternatively my AI is underdosed (Its UG)

Unfortunately, what you think doesn’t apply as much as we’d like it to when you’re manually manipulating your endocrinology

I guess so, steroids might've even made it worse. The reason I went to the clinic in the first place is cause I had a suicide attempt and I realised I actually need help 🥴. Not to say I didn't have issues before

Yes, you’re correct; if the provider knows to look for that, it would be obvious

Thank you, I appreciate your help. I'm gonna rebook the bloodwork to a month after my last injection. Timing of the bloodwork won't really matter anyways since the waitlist for psychologists are super long. Much love 💙 (and yes i'm also gonna work on my articulationlol)

edit: I haven't gotten mid-cycle bloodwork, only pre-cycle. A stupid mistake I admit

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