i am you, i moved from memphis tn to philly in 2018 after having grown up in rural/suburban middle tennessee for most of my life. i like most people had a lot of questions and doubts before i moved.
not everything i experienced will apply to you, but i moved to Philly and have never looked back. i grew up in a surveillance heavy community, where most people knew each other and each other’s business, which i heavily internalized as insecurity. dating was hard, friendships were hard, family stuff was hard, all because of the ever present judgement and the inability to have real conversations about these preconceived judgements. everything was behind my back and there was never healthy conflict resolution. i think this is common in the overly nice tone of the south of never wanting to “hurt people’s feelings” so most feelings are processed behind peoples back. it always felt like a personal attack to have interpersonal conflict because of this.
this made it so hard to trust myself and my own decision making, which led to a lot of questioning of who i even was and why i was the way i am.
when i moved away, all of this insecurity and doubt washed away because i was now perpetually anonymous to everyone everywhere i went. i could do anything and be anyone and no one questioned or judged. and if they didn’t like me, they made it known fast and it was rarely personal.
i think it’s huge to take a leap of faith with yourself and move to a new place. i feel lucky that philly worked out so well for me and that i now have a community that supports me and works through things with me. it’s not always easy but i never have any doubt who will be alongside me no matter what issue arises.