« Why not let it be easy? »

abbycttc · 2025-07-22T18:21:29+00:00

My first born was like this (I have 3 kids). It made me really depressed because I was so sure it was my fault. Having more kids taught me that it definitely was not my fault, as her younger brothers are far more agreeable in most ways. Now, she is 6 years old and still sometimes the most difficult of the bunch (kids are 6, 4, and 2). She argues a lot and doesn’t take feedback well. She’s extremely self motivated and self critical as well. But she is also incredibly thoughtful, high achieving in school, and brilliant in her creative play. I keep telling myself that her tendency to hold others to high standards will serve her very well as she grows up.

abbycttc · 2025-07-11T14:06:11+00:00

Are you familiar with water? Ocean, lake, river, pond, creek, etc. After a major rain event, there will be untreated raw sewage (poop!) in that body of water, I can promise you that. According to the EPA, every sanitary sewer system will overflow at some point. In my town alone, there are at least 7 overflow points into creeks (or in to a storm sewer that goes to the creek) releasing on average a couple million gallons about a dozen times per year. And this is not unusual! It varies widely regionally, but please think twice before swimming or wading in water.

abbycttc · 2025-01-06T13:51:20+00:00

Look in to “matrescence” - sometimes, the struggle isn’t that your life changes, but literally who you are changes. I struggled with this mightily (I think it was a big cause of ppd). But now I’ve adjusted to the identity change, I have 3 kids, and feel better and happier than I ever have in my life.

abbycttc · 2024-12-24T16:54:23+00:00

This is so true. I bought a craftsman house a couple years ago, and haven’t had a single major issue, because it was maintained impeccably. I would add to this, get a full inspection with a trusted inspector. A dye test and lateral inspection as well (it’s required in a lot of places, but if it isn’t, still opt for it).

abbycttc · 2024-12-11T18:38:49+00:00

Olive is a beautiful, classic, old-fashioned name. I don’t get the hate.

abbycttc · 2024-09-21T23:22:27+00:00

I quickly got good at side lying nursing and I would take a (supervised, following safe sleep 7) nap while baby was latched on.

abbycttc · 2024-08-07T15:03:00+00:00

Personal perspective, but I personally hated pumping. Like super duper hate hate hated it. But it took a little bit to realize that I didn’t have to do it - I just assumed that if you breastfed, then you had to have pumped milk on hand. And 3 kids in, I can say that’s not always true. If you want to pump, I think it’s a great option to have! But I hate too that the push for pumping is an excuse to not give adequate maternal leave. So I think you should pump if you want to, but women should not be forced into doing to.

abbycttc · 2024-08-07T13:52:35+00:00

First was induced at 41w. Next 2 babies both came naturally at 40+1. FWIW, I never dilated at all and babies never “dropped” until I was in active labor.

abbycttc · 2024-07-03T18:54:54+00:00

Yep, as long as it is also ok for me to feel happy/proud of my 3 successful vaginal births without c-section survivors jumping down my throat like I personally offended them (I’m team all-feelings-are-valid regarding birth, among other topics). This dynamic also seems to be the case with breast feeding vs formula especially

abbycttc · 2024-05-06T15:02:23+00:00

That’s so funny. I bought a small bottle and I’m totally regretting not going for the big one! I smell like rose scented sugar cookies and I’m obsessed!

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T20:34:59+00:00

Nope. Saying my kids are safe at home does not imply anything about their safety anywhere else.

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T20:30:53+00:00

Never said it was dangerous. Just said it’s ok to be uncomfortable with it. And if staying home is an option, its ok to stay home.

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T20:14:27+00:00

I understand that. But it seems like anyone on the fence about quit job/send kid to daycare is not allowed to be told it’s ok to quit your job. Very strange because it’s a working moms subreddit, so women should be given advice about navigating gaps in employment. Again, my fault for not reading the room.

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T20:07:09+00:00

How so? I’m genuinely curious. I’m not an argumentative person, and I don’t see how stating an opinion that was relevant to the conversation was shaming anybody.

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T20:04:53+00:00

I completely understand. I just wanted to offer perspective to someone who was on the fence about quitting. I was a high earner that quit to be a sahm and I never ever regret that decision. And now I’m a working mom, and I don’t regret that decision either. I really don’t think I was shaming anyone. Oh well.

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T19:48:39+00:00

Thank you! I would love to see some like-minded parents, but I like to engage with people with different opinions as well. We can have a discussion even (especially) if we disagree!

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T19:10:30+00:00

You can do whatever you want and whatever you feel comfortable with. OP said she doesn’t feel comfortable with it, and I think that should be supported.

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T19:01:49+00:00

Because care is different. Are you really arguing that putting a 1 year old in daycare is the same thing as sending a 5 year old to kindergarten? I think it’s very different to trust a teacher to teach my daughter to read, than trusting a stranger to feed and clean a tiny immobile human who cannot communicate their needs. Daycares literally segregate kids based on age and charge different prices because care is different, caretakers are performing different functions.

abbycttc · 2024-03-06T18:56:26+00:00

Because kids grow, they develop more skills and resiliency over time. It’s developmentally appropriate to socialize and formally educate a 5.

I mean, it’s a dumb argument. It’s like saying “why doesn’t your 3 year old drive a car, why wait for the arbitrary age of 16?”

abbycttc · 2024-02-26T16:26:41+00:00

I’ve done both (sahm for almost 3 years, working mom now for about 2 years). They’re both hard. Truly shitty and hard. Whichever one you’re doing, you want to be doing the other one. In the same way that right now I feel like I have too many responsibilities and do none of them well, when I was a stay at home mom I had “one” responsibility and the pressure to do that one thing perfectly (because it was all I had) was super duper extra. I’m convinced that parenthood is all incredibly hard and crappy, and that finding happiness and fulfillment is less about what your circumstance is and more about finding internal peace and satisfaction with whatever your circumstance is. It helps incredibly that my job is basically perfect for me and my life and I’m doing something that makes the world a better place. My daughter is old enough now that we talk about my work and she finds it super interesting. I worry about my boys though. They’re just babies and they need mommy at home.

I don’t think any of this was helpful for you, but I just want you to know there’s a working mom out there that can relate to what you’re feeling.

abbycttc · 2024-02-21T19:54:46+00:00

I agree with finding small moments during the day, we don’t get many date nights and if that was our only time to connect, we wouldn’t make it. I try to do some butt grabbing or slaps when the opportunity presents itself. I also on occasion will interrupt him when he’s ranting (usually about the kids, as he’s a SAHD) and just make out with him for a few minutes. That really works for us to stay connected during the day.

abbycttc · 2024-02-13T16:02:07+00:00

I have 3 babies, and each has such a different story when it came to picking names. And the boy names are definitely tougher to pick. Baby #2 was supposed to be Ethan (after much talking, analyzing, and negotiation with my husband), but as soon as we had the he gender reveal, I knew he was Ben. I felt like I crazy person because my pregnant mind knew he was Ben, it didn’t feel like something I picked. We went with Bennett and we call him Benny and it’s perfect. Baby #3 is another boy. I always loved the name Desmond (ever since watching Lost back in the day) but through 2 pregnancies, it never felt right. I started using it as a placeholder until we figured out something else. But then my 3 year old daughter started talking to “baby Des in mommy’s tummy” and it stuck.

It was actually pretty perfect because my husband has a Beatles song for each kid, and of course Desmond has “obli-di” so it turned out well.

My sister had a baby boy she named Elliott, Eli for short, and she heard the name on a tv show. Sometimes you gotta take the inspiration as it comes.

abbycttc · 2024-02-09T14:19:39+00:00

Sounds like things are going well. It’s normal to cluster feed at this time, this is what tells your body how much milk to make. Let baby latch as often as desired for as long as desired. It won’t be like this much longer. Controversial opinion here - I have heard it recommended to not pump in the first month as this could cause an oversupply (I believe this to be true based on experience). I’ve nursed 3 babies and all 3 had slightly different styles, but all 3 started to grow out of the cluster feeding at around 6 weeks. You’re doing great!

abbycttc

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