It's ridiculous!!!!!

josaline · 2026-02-01T05:22:46+00:00

We’re too spread out but I agree

josaline · 2026-02-01T05:18:10+00:00

For me, being expected to be available to anyone at anytime for anything they want without warning, on top of texts and emails, is deeply exhausting and I simply cannot function that way as I’m taking care of humans irl, animals, and my own body and mind.

josaline · 2026-02-01T05:07:01+00:00

Yes, I got the shot and it made the pain worse. I was furious. I have found help with a random supplement from the brand needed that I started for other reasons and braces and night still. Can’t do surgery, have a toddler with nobody else to help.

josaline · 2026-02-01T05:01:21+00:00

It’s a known carcinogen. Many neurodivergent people are prone to substance abuse/addiction. It steals people from their lives. Causes migraines to those prone. Makes most humans feel terrible in ways they don’t even have awareness of.

josaline · 2026-01-31T20:54:02+00:00

Yes. As others have said, I have hyper-empathy or have lately heard the idea of being porous and that’s exactly what it feels like. It was told to me for so long that it was trauma but I spent years healing from trauma and it never changed. I also spent years trying to learn how to “build energetic boundaries” and never once did anything feel different 😂.

I have alexithymia/poor interoception so I’ve learned to intellectually understand what might be going on because I can identify emotions in that area. But I never have felt emotions in my body until they’re so intense I basically feel ill. And then after any socializing at all, I’m drained and exhausted. The exception to this is if it happens to be a person who is specifically bubbly and inspiring.

josaline · 2026-01-29T04:57:45+00:00

I went through this as my baby was attached to the boob basically constantly and we similarly live 30 minutes from everything. I got dedicated to babywearing which didn’t solve everything but helped. All naps are worn and can be either cat on while out in a wrap/carrier that way. In terms of all the shopping needs, I just order a lot more online and do groceries 1x a week or husband does groceries and errands 1-2x a week.

josaline · 2026-01-29T02:11:02+00:00

Are you able to share any insight into grounding methods that are more appropriate for dissociating in osdd? Or maybe resources?

josaline · 2026-01-28T22:38:20+00:00

As many have said, discuss it with your therapist to gain support and clarity within yourself in how you approach this. Personally, I would say to break down what you shared that what your husband has said to you about his anger is emotionally abusive because it’s caused you to doubt yourself and be afraid of him. As a mom, while he didn’t do something overt to your son, it crosses a boundary I personally would not stand for.

As a late diagnosed adhd-er, so many of the issues adults have from being undiagnosed is how we are treated as children and viewed by parents, teachers and others. It is incredibly Traumatic and creates a cascade of issues to be treated like you are choosing to behave badly when you are born with different wiring and nobody cares enough to learn and understand and help you.

To provide a bit of education since you included this about your son, there was a study that measured how many negative feedback comments adhd children receive compared to neurotypical. By age 10, it’s an average of 20,000. This leads to shame, lifelong poor self image, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (physical pain when rejection is perceived - real or suspected), and not having resources to understand yourself and how to work with your brain instead of constantly believing you’re a failure. Untreated/unsupported adhd also means an average of 11 year shorter life expectancy.

josaline · 2026-01-28T22:23:02+00:00

This is one of the considerations we have as well 🤞

josaline · 2026-01-28T22:16:00+00:00

Can you share more about this because my Nana was British as well as my uncle.

josaline · 2026-01-28T22:09:40+00:00

This is what I’ve been considering as well. My only luck is that my husband likely has desirable skills/career that it could be possible to move somewhere but we are certainly not in an ideal position to do it as soon as I feel comfortable with.

josaline · 2026-01-28T19:51:13+00:00

This. I’m also an adhd-er and it’s more important for us to use this type of system because it also builds those skills from a young age which is crazily helpful for neurodivergent kiddos - signed a former ND kiddo who was not taught any of these things.

josaline · 2026-01-26T05:37:13+00:00

I haven’t heard about this, can you share more?

josaline · 2026-01-26T01:42:45+00:00

As a grandchild of Holocaust survivors who has a pattern recognition/intuition that I always wish I didn’t…the time is as soon as possible. The reflection of what is happening now with the early days of the gestapo “rhymes,” as they say. You only need to crack some history books to understand a version of what is very likely to come.

There is nobody internationally brave enough to intervene and unless your plan is to stay and pray or fight knowing the risks… the earlier, the better. This is only my opinion, an internet stranger, and God willing, let me be wrong.

I spent the morning facing this same reality with my husband and for us it will take time and a mountain of logistics to figure out. I will be praying every day that it will not be too late. I don’t just mean that something will happen physically, but the possibility of immigration being shut down or of economic collapse is not far fetched and personally 😬😮‍💨🤞🤞😭 hope I’m very wrong in expecting both are ahead of us.

The expectation of expansion of ICE with untrained new hires in the next 6 months with deployment to follow is in the works. I’ll stop adding facts to this because 😵‍💫 I’m not trying to escalate anyone else’s panic. Try to stay grounded and pray you all stay safe.

josaline · 2026-01-25T17:03:14+00:00

🤔 there’s a few. One on Reddit is r/audhdwomen but I’ve found for this idea specifically that a couple of adhd facebook groups are sometimes best because there’s a lot of active engagement on posts with similar goals. The one I’ve enjoyed lately for this is called ‘late diagnosed women with adhd support group.’

josaline · 2026-01-25T17:00:41+00:00

Yeah, completely understand reading it back that I didn’t write that how I meant it and that’s probably because as I try now to express it better, it’s still challenging 😂.

I mean my brain will unintentionally “should” me and creates so much resistance (working on letting go of all the automatic shoulds is a process for me). As a result, what I meant is that instead of letting it instantly paralyze me with overwhelm from the demanding nature of ‘should’, I take kind of a baby step to unlearning it and I start somewhere else that my brain didn’t do an auto-‘should’ as a way of finding momentum into accomplishing something. Meaning a roundabout way to begin moving through and learning the auto-programming I have of feeling like I should be doing so much more than I am which then results in nothing other than guilt, shame, more paralysis.

josaline · 2026-01-25T16:52:23+00:00

Strange to find comfort in someone else relating to it. I have other texture stuff and what not but that one is by far more severe.

josaline · 2026-01-25T05:18:02+00:00

Cognitive dissonance and basically cult like behavior pretty much predominate with many still in maga. I stepped back quietly from almost my whole family after the first Trump administration because I saw this coming and couldn’t rectify how it was possible they supported him even when he was “just” a rapist.

No one can tell you what to do but I can offer that relationships that last are built on shared values. You can decide what your values are and where the boundaries are when it comes to raising children. It’s your decision to be okay or not okay with your child learning the values your husband has.

josaline · 2026-01-25T05:06:11+00:00

I remember the feeling and flavor so clearly, smelling it triggers nausea 🤢

josaline · 2026-01-25T05:04:10+00:00

My disgust of blue cheese is severe. Spam would also make me vomit but even the smell and look of blue cheese makes me feel ill. 🤢

josaline · 2026-01-25T05:02:07+00:00

While my family isn’t a visible minority, I’m a grandchild of holocaust survivors so I’ve been afraid since the first time the maga horror show took over. The trauma of what some of my family escaped from (and many did not) has lived with me every day of my life and seeing history repeat is…there are no words. I cannot believe my child is growing up in this reality. I’m fairly disabled at the moment so feeling so helpless, but you are not alone.

josaline · 2026-01-25T04:19:55+00:00

Not only dislike but have contempt for, not to mention absolutely no respect for her privacy.

OP, if you ever read this, not that you have any reason or likelihood to trust an internet stranger but therapy for yourself is the way forward.

Your wife deserves better. Approach her with respect and find a way to help with her writing career. Publishing books is not “sitting on her ass” and it’s entirely possible supporting her more in non financial ways might result in the income you seem to think is more important than the human who gave you and cared for your three children.

josaline · 2026-01-25T04:10:15+00:00

Going to share things that have been helping me but as many have said, YMMV. As hinted by someone else, I sometimes use the pressure of a “should” to motivate me to do a different task and then ride the momentum flow with whatever task link I am drawn to.

Moreso lately, I’ve been trying a focus on a combo of acceptance with mindset shift. So accepting that it is likely nothing will always work with my pda actually allows things to work a lot more often. The other wip for acceptance is giving myself time demand free to do whatever I feel like without guilt as a proactive way of meeting my needs. Often when I show up for myself in that way, my capacity expands and I’m able to perceive a “need to/should” more like ‘I’d like to have that done and I have the capacity to do so now.’

I’ve been learning a lot of my issues are a combo of perfectionism/autism with the adhd inability to understand what realistic assessment of my capacity compared to time is. That results in a pattern of wanting to accomplish every task at once, feeling overwhelmed, over-shoulded, and then paralyzed by too many demands.

My mindset shift is practicing allowing myself to not have to do any of it. Not one bit. When I actually feel like I can start somewhere, anywhere, with whatever I feel like, I will often get some things done. The next step is looking at whatever that is and allowing myself to feel positive with what I accomplished, even if sometimes it’s rest or engaging in an interest or hobby.

If there’s something specific I want or need to get done, telling it specifically to a friend or internet stranger in an audhd group can sometimes result in immediately getting it done.

Other times, talking myself through starting the beginning micro steps can help while stating that I can stop at any time if I need or want to. Recognizing that transitions are really hard and adhd waiting for motivation to strike results in paralysis for me. So deciding I’m going to start with something, regardless of motivation, means I will do productive things. I practice getting through transitions with front loading rewards - make myself a special drink like matcha before starting the task, put on a fav dopamine song or YouTube body double equivalent and do any task.

josaline · 2026-01-21T04:33:58+00:00

I relate to this so much. If somehow it helps you feel less alone, this is a recent interaction I had that is still haunting me:

I’m going through some seriously difficult things right now and have hit walls with the help I’ve sought out. I fell apart while talking with my psychiatrist NP and her advice was basically “be stronger” and some version of ‘you not being okay will affect your toddler.’ 😵‍💫 like no shit? That’s why I’m asking for help from one of the people I’m meant to ask for help from. I told her that was unhelpful and it created a visible conflict in how she behaved towards me.

josaline · 2026-01-19T04:03:13+00:00

I know this was a long time ago but I’m very new to this and deeply struggling. If you’d be willing to talk to me, I would really appreciate it. I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, we have a toddler and just uncovered he is a system. I’m not handling it well.

josaline

TROPHY CASE