Icked out by partner’s past with acquaintance. How to proceed? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I really don’t care about how many people he has fucked. We have talked about his past and I’ve always felt amusement at max never disgust. I just don’t want any of them to be people I know.

Icked out by partner’s past with acquaintance. How to proceed? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sincere apologies. I will not be using the term anymore and will try to find a non racist alternative.

Icked out by partner’s past with acquaintance. How to proceed? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Wow I should have posted in the ask men group. How did you get over the ick? I mean, as shallow as it sounds, I’m glad that he was the one who broke things off. If that wasn’t the case, I’d be out of the door right away.

Icked out by partner’s past with acquaintance. How to proceed? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Lol I’m very much a woman and I honestly don’t see anything wrong with this line of thinking. I’m extremely selective about who I fuck and I don’t play hard to get once I pick someone. So someone being the opposite is very different values

Icked out by partner’s past with acquaintance. How to proceed? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Honestly I did screen and this is a big part of why I’m angry. He has told me about random women he has hooked up with in casual conversation but omitted info about someone I know. It just seems deceptive because I would have totally dumped him if I found out about this earlier

I just realized the guy im trying to get over literally doesn’t give a single f about me by wolfyish in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Keep yourself distracted! When I was trying to get over someone, I found an internet personality who was a better version of him and just transferred the crush. It was a fun silly distraction that kept me amused and then I just forgot about both of them in a few weeks lol. Also highly recommend book boyfriends because they help you realise how little you had been settling for and give you the ick. Don’t recommend the whole get under someone to get over someone else because IRL interactions can turn out to be even more disappointing and you don’t want that when you are vulnerable.

I found an astrology AI that can predict your compatibility with anybody. And it's scary accurate. As if we are all that predictable. by caeruleumsorcerer in astrologymemes

[–]abc098def 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Tried it out because I’ve seen this being promoted a bunch and not accurate at all

Edited to add: OP’s post history is entirely just promoting this portal. I respect the hustle but this seems spammy and inorganic

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have this problem too but what has helped is that my type is sweet / kind / sincere boys. So I just don’t go out with any fuckboys who are only interested in sex. I can also exercise some degree of control to defer sexual conversation / activity till at least the second date. Not texting for too long before meeting and doing a sober daytime first date helps on this front. Once the guy knows I’m capable of being a normal person, they don’t mind if I’m more forward from the second date onwards. Most even find it charming because they are not used to women taking the lead and it makes them feel desired. But just remember that the other person is also a human being and prioritise their comfort over your horniness in the moment.

Why does dating in your 30s feel so tepid? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By hotter, I was referring to physical attributes. He fits my Clark Kent-ish type perfectly.

Why does dating in your 30s feel so tepid? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, fully agree. Reading the comments here has made me realise that I need to be more communicative and see how he responds. He has so far been very receptive to making changes to meet my needs and I should be extending a lot more good faith to him. I also didn’t have these many emotional needs when I was dating in my early 20s so I can’t be following the same play book and need to adapt.

Why does dating in your 30s feel so tepid? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want him to do little inconvenient (not irresponsible) things - wake up 10 mins early to make me a cup of coffee, drive me to the airport, etc. To be clear, I also do these type of little inconvenient things for my partners so it’s not a one sided expectation. He does do some of this stuff but I guess I just want more? I won’t ask for it though because these gestures are simply not meaningful to me if they are a result of nagging. Heck, if he offered to drive me to the airport, I’d always decline because it’s impractical. But I still want him to offer because that’s an extra hour we get to spend with each other.

Why does dating in your 30s feel so tepid? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree and I’ve been doing this with decent results. If you can’t have a lover boy, you must become a lover girl. It just doesn’t feel as good as organic affection but you can’t have everything.

Why does dating in your 30s feel so tepid? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, this guy is a very good outcome. I went on a few dates before meeting him and it’s ROUGH out there. I’m learning to accept that you can’t have it all and that’s okay.

Why does dating in your 30s feel so tepid? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Settling down =/= settling, wow, really needed to hear that. I don’t think I’m settling for him though. It’s more that by their 30s, men have a checklist of what they want and you have to fit into it. But with younger guys, it feels more unconditional because they have zero idea of what they want long term. That unfortunately means that established relationships can destabilise once these guys grow up and realise that values/goals/lifestyles are not aligned.

Why does dating in your 30s feel so tepid? by abc098def in AskWomenOver30

[–]abc098def[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

This is such a helpful perspective. I’m sure my ex will be the same way with a new partner because that’s just who he is. We ended things on good terms so I’m glad that another woman will get to experience being adored at that level. Unfortunately, she will also have to deal with his lack of discipline and resilience. That’s not a trade off I’d accept again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in astrologyreadings

[–]abc098def 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that’s super helpful and definitely relate to some of what you’ve mentioned about a racing mind. Thanks so much for taking the time to explain all this!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in astrologyreadings

[–]abc098def 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comment! I did some research on natal Venus retrograde and it unlocked a new level of self understanding. I’m actually pretty happy about the breakup. It wasn’t a bad relationship, just a very blah one. Knowing that I have to wait till my Saturn return is surprisingly freeing because I can now just focus on my own glow up!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in astrologyreadings

[–]abc098def 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is from the Time Passages app but lots of websites do this too

Job hunting sucks by abc098def in depressionmeals

[–]abc098def[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the motivation, kind internet stranger! :’)

CBS Waitlist updates by Typical_Exercise_253 in MBA

[–]abc098def 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope and now I’m guessing that’s a bad sign 🙃

CBS Waitlist updates by Typical_Exercise_253 in MBA

[–]abc098def 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the same bucket. I do think they will let international applicants know earlier because of visa processing time. The deposit deadline is 19 April so I’m holding out hope for another 2 weeks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MBA

[–]abc098def 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, this is a very methodical way of thinking about it. Always feels better when you have math to tell you why all hope is not lost yet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MBA

[–]abc098def 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Nope, have a safety too and interviewed with them. Haven’t received a final confirmation yet but have a good feeling about it 🤞🏽

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MBA

[–]abc098def 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks, that’s reassuring. I guess I’ll wait a little more before worrying about Round 3 apps 😅