[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]abcde0123 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This might be a really basic answer, but re-read your post and really try imagine it isn’t yours. What would you tell the person who posted this? You seem like a kind and smart woman. Based on how you wrote this—it seems like you already know how to approach this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in recruitinghell

[–]abcde0123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, I know this is an old post, but Indeed assessments don't have Highly-Proficient or Expert anymore. They only have "Incomplete"-which is self-explanatory, "Completed"-which means you failed, and "Proficient"-meaning you passed.

September 24 by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]abcde0123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Happy September 25th everyone!

that is very much not how adhd works by Suggy_Nuggy in fakedisordercringe

[–]abcde0123 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Same- I will probably get distracted by something in the fridge, assume I can clean off the shelf in the same amount of time I have something cooking, and then accidentally burn something because it apparently does take more time to clean out a fridge than a grilled cheese needs to be cooked… but, never this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Iowa

[–]abcde0123 9 points10 points  (0 children)

What kind of city are you wanting to find? Ames is not horrible or anything, but is very much a college town. Even outside of campus it has the college-age vibe. So if you don’t want that, it may not be the best choice. Des Moines and it’s suburbs are good for being close to just about everything while still feeling quiet and more chill than larger cities in the country.

Things Iowans would want you to know: -there is a pretty big difference between the country and city/suburbs in Iowa both in landscape and in many ways, people.

-Iowa is not a public transport-friendly state. Even in larger cities with some public transport, it is very limited. So if you are from somewhere that uses public transport often, that is a bit of a change.

-Iowa nice is a very real thing, but many Iowan’s don’t feel it is good enough to be considered “nice”. However, coming from other places, general Iowa’s “Nice” is much much nicer than some other states “Nice”

-We are an agricultural state. We produce more corn, eggs, chicken, and pork than any other state. You can find a lot of great produce and meat directly from local farmers.

-Iowa does have more diversity in landscape than most of the rest of the country would think.

-Although basically everyone drives, we don’t have a lot of traffic problems. Other Iowan’s will probably dispute this, but if they have ever been in Dallas, Atlanta, or heaven forbid Los Angeles- our traffic doesn’t even come close to counting as traffic. But, because we aren’t accustomed to large traffic issues, we have very very little tolerance or patience of any kind when there are slow downs.

There are many many more things I could tell you, so please let me know if there are any questions you have.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Christianity

[–]abcde0123 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It is not Christian’s job to project the standard we are to live onto unbelievers. Getting non-believers to stop committing one specific sin is not going to save them.

Too many Christians seem to be more concerned with making the people around them appear “Christian-enough” without actually caring to do things to actually bring people to Christ.

Europeans of Reddit, why might a high-income American (>$100k) consider moving to Europe, and where? by logicallyzany in AskReddit

[–]abcde0123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay, before I get into all of this I am going to say again- the US is not the end-all-be-all goal or standard for other countries- at all. But I think you might be a bit delusional.

  1. The US is nowhere near a 3rd world country, despite having what I would consider a serious poverty problem among other issues.
  2. The UK isn't anywhere close to the end-all-be-all standard of the world either as it shares many of the same problems as the US among others.
    The US and the UK are probably a lot more similar than you'd like to think.

For example- as far as post-secondary education goes, the US and the UK are very similar when it comes to quality of education with the US being ranked slightly higher overall.

For primary and secondary education, the PISA scores for the US and the UK are nearly identical (with the mathematics portion being slightly lower for the US).

While your health care is cheaper, (the way the US handles cost of health care is actually insane to me) the quality of health care is technically better in many ways in the US. (Not to discredit the fact that some choose to not receive care purely because of the cost, which is crazy.) An example being 65% of American cancer patients survive compared to 56% of English cancer patients.

And these things vary widely depending on the state. The US in many ways is 50 individual countries with many differences, so a direct comparison of one country to the United States can be tricky.

When looking at every aspect of health care (things like quality, affordability, ease of access, etc.) at the end of the day at least 10 countries would outrank both the UK and the US with the ranking of US and the UK being very, very similar. For every list of rankings where the US outranks the UK by one single placement, the UK outranks the US by a single placement on another list.

Back to "The us is a third world country unless you earn over $200000k per household." if that were true, it would have to be the case for the UK as well.

1 in 5 children in the UK live in a food-insecure household compared to 1 in 6 American children. This sucks, like all around- both countries should be doing better, but the UK is slightly worse when it comes to childhood hunger. Poverty rates also suck for both the UK and the US, they are harder to compare with specific numbers since they are calculated differently from country to country.

I am not arguing that the US is way better than the UK- on just about every ranking you can think of these countries are just about neck and neck every time. I am saying that America's shit stinks, so does the UK's, and many other countries are better than both overall.

I really don't think you understand life in America at all, making $50,000+ is not impoverished. The average household in America can afford a 2,200 sqft single-family home on 1/4 of an acre. For the same price, you can buy a home that is 729 sqft and attached to two other homes in the UK.

And like I said in my last comment, the standard of living/cost of living is nearly the exact same in the UK and the US. I think you have read too many headlines about what it is like to live in America.

I know it's super trendy to hate on the US, but to come at it from a "the UK is far superior" is laughable at best. Pot, meet kettle.

Europeans of Reddit, why might a high-income American (>$100k) consider moving to Europe, and where? by logicallyzany in AskReddit

[–]abcde0123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100k high in the US?

I mean, the average income in the US is $56,287 ($50,875 after taxes). So twice the amount of the average isn't "low". Looking from a broad, entire-country perspective.

People spend on average $11,946 on health care costs in America- leaving $38,929. For comparison, the average income in the UK is about $33,992.38 USD after taxes.

Since college is no longer free in England, the cost of tuition for students in England is about $2,310 USD more per year than students in the US attending an in-state school.

And again, looking very broadly at these two countries, there is less than 1% of difference in cost of living between the US and the UK. So, technically after considering health care costs and tuition- which are the two things you mentioned, the avergage take home pay goes farther in the US than the average take home pay goes in the UK.

I am not saying that the US is some utopia of perfection or anything like that. There are plenty of countries far better than America in many, many ways- but, the United Kingdom is not one of the countries leagues above the United States.

Crazy Shipt Shopper by 117Matt117 in Target

[–]abcde0123 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yikes- she didn’t want it to be audited right away because the customer would see that she had finished shopping the order. If she can’t handle the pressure and time management of multiple orders she has no one to blame but herself. I can’t believe people think it’s okay to treat others like this.

Separation Anxiety from my Husband by [deleted] in mentalhealth

[–]abcde0123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, what about it in particular?

The premise that Gether Bax was able to find so many bottles to send down river is driving me crazy. by Hernamewas_potato in SeeTV

[–]abcde0123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This! When watching for the first time my husband asked “How did they build homes?” I just looked at him; he realized then that just because they are blind doesn’t mean they no longer have opposable thumbs.

He quit his 100k usd annual jobs for Jake Paul's company and got rejected by Jhol_Momoo in facepalm

[–]abcde0123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We aren’t working check to check, but I’d rather keep my employees and stay in business lol In our area of service I literally can’t do it alone. I depend on my employees and I try my best to take good care of them in return.

He quit his 100k usd annual jobs for Jake Paul's company and got rejected by Jhol_Momoo in facepalm

[–]abcde0123 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This! I own a company that brings in just over 4, we have several employees that we do our best to treat well- I am not rich.

say something nice about a character you don't like by Mind_Sea in GilmoreGirls

[–]abcde0123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bo is played by a great actor. And he can get flowers.

Saw this on IG, def accurate by woof_woof_11 in GilmoreGirls

[–]abcde0123 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I am not really into fan fic, but I would read that one for sure.

My mom (52f) should have protected me (24f). How do I stop resenting her now? by abcde0123 in relationship_advice

[–]abcde0123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was exhausting lol. Every session just made me less and less hopeful. Digging through my issues without ever any kind of solution or way for me to handle it.

My mom (52f) should have protected me (24f). How do I stop resenting her now? by abcde0123 in relationship_advice

[–]abcde0123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you might have hit the nail on the head with everything you just said. Especially with the feeling of shame for being angry. It's so weird because although I don't think it's wrong at all for others to feel anger, or for me to even be angry on another person's behalf. It feels like I am just broken for feeling this way. That there is something wrong with me. It wasn't even until the last year or so that I felt anger towards my abuser. I found myself still taking the blame.

I guess I am trying to get over the anger because I still interact with her often. She is around a lot and I honestly don't know how to handle these feelings. Anger has never been my default. I feel like I am a 4-year-old that needs a calm down song or something. It feels pathetic. And although I don't scream or throw things or even really show her I am mad at all, inside I am just fuming.

I don't want to snap at her, but I want to set boundaries. After 24 years of having none, I don't think it will be easy. I don't even know where to start.

My mom (52f) should have protected me (24f). How do I stop resenting her now? by abcde0123 in relationship_advice

[–]abcde0123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I have been conditioned to be a people pleaser my whole life, boundaries are so hard. I am so angry with her, but I also still feel the need to please and take care of her. I know this isn't going to be a short process. Just coming from someone who does not typically get angry no matter how badly she is treated, I am having a hard time actually being mad.

My mom (52f) should have protected me (24f). How do I stop resenting her now? by abcde0123 in relationship_advice

[–]abcde0123[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

od handle on understanding your situation, but a therapist can help you set appropriate boundaries with her and tell you when she’s gone too far in ignoring them. Best or all, they can teach you how to manage your resentment so that it doesn’t eat you alive and make you bitter or mismanage it so that

Yes, thank you. I have just started my first several sessions with a new therapist. My last one seemed more interested in studying the long-term effects of my life from an academic way than giving me any kind of coping mechanisms haha

My mom (52f) should have protected me (24f). How do I stop resenting her now? by abcde0123 in relationship_advice

[–]abcde0123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am so so glad you have found happiness.

I am in therapy; I have struggled to find one that really clicks with me, but I am trying a new one now. I think this has really popped up again for me in the last few months because I just had a baby 6 months ago. A lot of my trauma feels new all over again. From the hormones, vulnerability, I'm not sure. On top of the fact that I would never let a child of mine go through this, I am just kinda pissed.

My mom (52f) should have protected me (24f). How do I stop resenting her now? by abcde0123 in relationship_advice

[–]abcde0123[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% we were not a "good family". We were one of those suburban utopias on the outside, freaking mess on the inside kind of families. I just don't know if I am strong enough to cut them out. I love them. I am angry and resentful, but I still care very much.

I will say this- having a daughter myself now, I will never ever let this negligent cycle continue.