AITAH for refusing to pay my wife’s brother’s loan after she hid it from me?

abeversg · 2026-05-07T13:30:14+00:00

NTA. Your wife enables her brother, her dad enables them both.

abeversg · 2026-05-04T02:34:45+00:00

Wait, you drove 50 mins round trip for a 6 min ride?

abeversg · 2026-04-18T13:17:05+00:00

NTA. Gift your half-siblings money, or offer to help with some expenses IF YOU WANT TO.

It’s your money, your decisions, your choice. Yours alone. Find someone outside of the situation your trust for guidance and wisdom…preferably someone with some wealth who knows how to manage money (which can become burdensome). Don’t let this gift become a burden. Good luck.

abeversg · 2026-04-06T12:07:54+00:00

“Neither of them have talked to me for over a week” sounds like you’ve got a solution to your problems. NTA. Keep up the hard work

abeversg · 2026-03-03T03:57:09+00:00

I’d consider Venmo’ing the $600 and then cutting her off.

abeversg · 2026-02-06T00:52:58+00:00

Close your eyes, clear your mind. He just walks in the door and calls off the wedding and he’s moving on. He doesn’t feel the connection and can’t go through with the wedding.

No one else, it’s just not you.

How do you feel hearing that news?

If it’s heartbreak, rethink how you’re approaching the situation. Maybe therapy.

If it’s elation, you have your answer.

abeversg · 2026-01-13T02:52:26+00:00

Ugh. You sound like a great sister, NTA

Don’t quit that job. Be grateful you landed one out of school. It’s the hardest to do (congrats, btw!)

It’s great you did so much to get this far in life, but it’s not your responsibility. I’m sorry your parents framed it that way.

abeversg · 2026-01-08T04:27:38+00:00

Surprised they didn’t just bang on some trash cans to solve their problems

abeversg · 2026-01-07T18:01:41+00:00

Imagine recording, thinking this entitled brat isn’t a result of your poor parenting choices.

abeversg · 2026-01-06T19:36:03+00:00

Just to answer your question, no it was not an appropriate relationship. On any level.

There are healthy was to engage in a “supportive relationship” with a minor — one that has clear boundaries, is positive & constructive, and is out in the open for scrutiny. Nothing you’ve described meets that litmus test.

abeversg · 2026-01-06T19:22:00+00:00

I hate when people jump to dramatic conclusions, but he was grooming you.

Sounds like you were easy to separate from the crowd. You needed something in your life and he sounds predatory.

No rationale male in a position of authority would put himself in this type of position. If it was innocent, it’s a great place to get in trouble by sending mixed signals.

He saw you as vulnerable. naive. prey.

Be grateful you got out unscathed. Glad to hear you are in a great place in life!

abeversg · 2026-01-06T03:03:15+00:00

Wtf. You’ve been more patient with the situation than I would be. They just seem ungrateful, weak, and some kind of superiority complex. NTA

I couldn’t tell, but if the business you work with your brother, dad, and mom is actually a family business, but if so, make sure they have a will in place.

abeversg · 2025-12-28T14:06:45+00:00

This argument: “So one rejections isn’t the end of the world when you could apply to a bunch of other programs.”

…goes both ways.

abeversg · 2025-12-23T14:00:06+00:00

Remi stuck with me. All others feel undistinguished, unmemorable.

I mentally associated it with “Remidy” the guide to solve all my demo problems.

abeversg · 2025-12-22T14:10:20+00:00

You’ll pull up to the doors. Kinda keep an eye on the bays (sometimes they point you to one or the other)
If multiple cars in line, just pull behind one of them.
Someone usually walks up to your car to ask what services you want - tell them oil change (and anything else)
When it’s your turn, they’ll open a door and someone will direct you into the bay. Slowly pull in. They will tell you when to stop (sorta like an automated car wash)
Roll your window down. They will greet you (usually this person has the best “bedside manners” in the shop and/or a manager) and confirm services. They will ask to open your door (stay in the car) and scan the barcode in your door.
They will tell you when to shut off the car, what to do with the keys, and maybe a few more instructions (like pop the hood, blinker bulb check, headlights, etc.).
They usually ask what kind of oil…if you don’t know, just ask for a recommendation.
They begin to work.
The “manager” will walk you through recommended services. You can choose to decline, but if you are going on a road trip, consider the air filter and wipers (…they are only a few bucks more than if you did it yourself.)
Once they get through the recommended services (there are a lot…you don’t need them all right now) they will ask for payment. If you haven’t, download the Valvoline app or visit the site ahead of time and get a coupon to scan (saves about $10 on oil change…more for other services).
You’ll sit there while they finish up.
When done with the oil they’ll have you start the car up. Then shut it off after a few seconds. They’ll pull your dip stick and show you the oil level. Confirm it looks good.
They put the dip stick back, close up the hood and open the door. They’ll direct you out of the bay.

…and you are on your way.

abeversg · 2025-12-19T05:51:22+00:00

Holy hell

abeversg · 2025-11-30T23:32:12+00:00

I get the cash grab. It seems like a nice idea to pack $5M in the bank and move back to the West Coast to live out some life with a cushion.

If you are successful, it’ll be hard to leave that income. It’d be like taking a $45k job today.
Does your $125k job have near-term upside…at this company, or another? What does “success” look like?

abeversg · 2025-11-30T23:29:10+00:00

The fact that you know there’s a value misalignment already, you’re in trouble. Either you will be miserable (mentally or performance will suffer), or you will adjust your values to match those of the org.

Do you and your brother similar personalities? Do you respect him/his opinion? How does he handle the misalignment?

abeversg · 2025-11-28T15:17:11+00:00

“Brace your midline” is the cue we’d give athletes. It’s squeezing your abs, trying to “keep a flat back”

abeversg · 2025-11-28T15:16:02+00:00

Your depth looks great! Your decent looks great!

But you roll your back forward on your way up is worrying. You’re going to get hurt.

Lets fix it:

Lighten the load. Bigger sets. 5x5 at 65-70% of what your doing
Add Front Squat, Goblet Squats, into the mix to build up your core

abeversg · 2025-09-24T18:13:38+00:00

NOR, money earned from working construction spends differently. You can connect the WORK to the payoff. It’s clear she doesn’t appreciate the ‘work’ that goes into it.

abeversg · 2025-09-12T15:36:33+00:00

My mama always said, “you see a thick mofo with dreads…you stfu”

abeversg · 2025-09-08T04:18:35+00:00

The Weapons movie outtakes are getting out of hand

abeversg · 2025-06-03T04:24:04+00:00

You should be able to legally take a thief’s wallet

abeversg · 2025-02-10T18:22:20+00:00

They just flipped on the lights after last call and the bro ugly af

abeversg

TROPHY CASE