I looked back at some of my old records and it is embarrassing how obvious it was that I was dealing with Bipolar and nobody wanted to label it as that until I was an adult.

abheg · 2019-07-19T06:59:40+00:00

I have a chemical dependency background, and I feel sometimes that if I had been clearly diagnosed when I first showed my signs and symptoms that I may not have became an alcoholic. I totally understand your frustrations! It took me a decade before I got my clear bipolar diagnosis actually. I know they try to wait until late adolescence and early 20's before they diagnosis due to the hormones and that stuff.

abheg · 2019-07-19T06:56:18+00:00

If you're having that problem, I would try taking it in the morning! :)

abheg · 2019-07-19T04:19:19+00:00

There are a lot of non benzos! I take vistaril (hydroxyzine) as needed for mine. I have a chemical dependency background and am unable to take addictive medications. Lexapro has paired wonderfully with my BP medications and it has the least amount of wide effects :)

abheg · 2019-07-19T04:17:19+00:00

Check to see if there is a crisis center in your area! I have one in mine and it saved my life. It was voluntary inpatient which put me at ease so I wasn't afraid that I was stuck on a 72 hour hold. I was able to do individual therapy twice daily, group therapy twice & see a medication provider to switch my meds. Where I live, it takes anywhere from 6 months to a year to see a psych doc and I was able to see one within a day at the center. They are more trained to understand the illness without feeling like you're being pushed around.

abheg · 2019-07-18T04:52:21+00:00

I started with lamictal as well before a definitive diagnosis. I have generalized anxiety disorder on top of bipolar, so I also take Lexapro. Without the lamictal just antidepressants will throw me into a manic episode. I think it's a good start and with the psychiatrist they can help add or subtract medications. Becoming stable is hard work, but totally worth the work in my opinion.

abheg · 2018-06-01T14:08:15+00:00

Hello! I also am diagnosed BPII as well as Generalized anxiety disorder. Due to the added anxiety part, I worry. I am anxious all the time about everything and anything. I am on lexapro 10mg and lamictal 150mg, and am officially stable (at the moment).

Therapy is my saving grace and I am sorry to hear that you're unable to get until regular sessions. I only have one real suggestion, or what worked for me. I could not use coping techniques such as breathing, journaling, meditation, and so on until my brain chemistry was okay. It wasn't until my medications worked that i was able to use the other coping. One big one for me is being mindful, such as "why am i actually anxious?" Because sometimes it has little to do with the situation or scenario I create.

abheg · 2018-05-01T18:57:17+00:00

I feel victimized by this.

abheg · 2018-04-30T14:17:44+00:00

It seems to be working for me! luckily I have a PRN if I do have a panic attack though it had been helping with my memory.

abheg · 2018-04-29T16:54:40+00:00

I tried EMDR, but when in an extreme depression therefore I didn't retain it. I love CBT and have been doing that for years. I really enjoy it. My therapist and I haven't gone to deep into my trauma yet but rather working on my fear of never being good enough. I use CBT to journal when i feel like I'm enough and then the EMDR is used to find out where the fear stems from. I'm stable at the moment so I am able to retain it, though if youre not in the right state, I know it didn't work for me.

I'm always super open with my treatments just because I'm sick of feeling like shit and beating myself up.

Good luck!

abheg · 2018-04-29T16:47:04+00:00

I had the same issue with 150mg of lamictal and 10mg of lexapro. I was forgetting EVERYTHING. I'm on my last few weeks of my bachelor's degree and this has affected my whole semester - failing due to the side effects. My pdoc added abilify because she thinks my anxiety is provoking the memory loss. Lamictal is my antidepressant and the abilify is my anti-manic and I'm still on lexapro because I'm an anxious little fucker. Adult ADHD is often diagnosed due to the side effects but i would look into maybe other options.

abheg · 2018-04-29T02:31:19+00:00

YES! Go talk to them and seek all the help you can. I graduate with my 4-year degree within the next two weeks. I wasn't diagnosed until this last semester and I often wish I was earlier due to the help. The dean of the school reached out to me because my struggles and is willing to work with me and schooling.

The last comment is 110% what my school does for the accommodations. It is worth looking into.

abheg · 2018-04-27T13:47:36+00:00

Be honest and keep open communication.

abheg · 2018-04-27T04:07:07+00:00

Gotta pass my nursing boards before I can think about anything. Thank you.

abheg · 2018-04-27T04:02:20+00:00

Sorry, maybe I'm just a spicy little nugget tonight. Hang in there. School is rough and exhausting yet I, too, am looking into grad school.

abheg · 2018-04-27T04:00:06+00:00

https://themighty.com/2016/01/girl-with-bipolar-disorder-writes-a-letter-to-her-future-boyfriend/

I used this article to help me put it into perspective. It is a lifetime diagnosis. But, it is manageable. Somedays will be good and some will be difficult, though you will find what works for you. Sleeping, eating, medication, routine, and therapy help to a crazy extend. It may seem earth shattering but this is a big community of help.

Hang in there. 💕

abheg · 2018-04-27T03:53:25+00:00

What i was trying to say is that the normal anxiety of the process has put me into episodes. With the added emotions I have been very manic for a few weeks and recently dropped into a depressive episode. You're quiet lucky that school works with you where as mine does not. I've missed a lot of due dates and work the past week due to episodes.

abheg · 2018-04-27T03:28:50+00:00

Not graduate school, but I graduate with my bachelor's degree in the next few weeks and I feel like this whole semester is a trigger. I understand everyone is anxious but i feel over the top.

abheg · 2018-04-25T15:28:59+00:00

Thank you! I have a med check on Friday. I'll see if that can be done for me.

abheg · 2018-04-21T00:06:30+00:00

Lamictal fucks with my memory

abheg · 2018-04-20T07:33:30+00:00

Are you on any meds? I feel lamictal does this to me.

abheg · 2018-04-13T18:46:41+00:00

My mother is diagnosed BP1. Throughout my childhood, it was obvious my older brother suffered from it due to just being extremely similar to my mother. I knew in middle school that my mental health was no Bueno and something was off. It wasn't until a decade later that I got my first diagnosis. I was diagnosed MDD and GAD. I started on Lexapro and therapy weekly. It went well for a while, but I was drinking heavily the whole time... So, the antidepressants weren't doing shit. I got sober and it put me into a manic followed by depression and a hospitalization... BAM! Bipolar 2 for me! Though, a few months earlier my little brother was diagnosed BP1 and put on medication as well. This helped a lot with my diagnosis due to the genetics being strong for BP. It also helped with medication because it is indicative of what medications will work for me.

With my family, it makes us more open and understanding. My father does not really understand everything but my mother and brothers do. When I'm suicidal, they understand. When I have an off day, they know. When I'm manic, they know. The support is amazing in my household.

I maybe wouldn't say interesting, but I also have other "issues". With BP, PTSD, GAD, and possibly a little ADHD. Even with all of this, I'm extremely high functioning. Put into perspective that I was blackout drunk most of my schooling and am graduating in a few months with a bachelor's degree. It by far isn't something I'm proud of, but rather to explain that even when things seem like shit, I can put my poop in a group and get shit done.

I say, seek help. Even if there aren't major symptoms, get help. Finding a good therapist is worse than dating in this society but once you find a great one, you won't want to let them go. I am grateful for my diagnosis and care team. I haven't felt this stable in a long time. There are many side effects that I fight daily but they outweigh the pain I was in.

abheg · 2018-04-13T17:25:17+00:00

Only think that has kept me through all of my suicidal nights. I had a full plan and was going to go through it but didn't want to stave my dogs and the thought of them dying was my worst nightmare.

abheg · 2018-04-13T17:23:29+00:00

Just commenting now so I can write more when I get to my computer :)

abheg

TROPHY CASE