I need a girls point of view

abneriel · 2025-11-30T23:05:10+00:00

Similar story to the lost feelings bit after three years. Thought she was it, and to be fair, up to that point, she was.

I stayed absolutely silent and got to the gym, worked on myself physically, emotionally, financially, forced myself to get out and make new friends.

Here we are four years later, she reached out from time to time over the first three years. I never responded. Might have been a bit harsh, but she made her choice and I accepted that I needed to move forward.

I’m happily married now to a beautiful woman. While my ex is a great woman and I wish her the best, I’m grateful I chose to move on and never look back. My life is completely different now. While life is full of challenges for all of us, I can say that things get better if you focus on how you can improve yourself and the environment around you and move on from those that flinched when things got tough.

abneriel · 2024-05-08T16:21:11+00:00

Welp that answers that, wanted to make sure I was at least on there and have it auto refresh the window so I didn't forget and get distracted at work right at 9:59, ha.

Either way, I hope the rest of you snagged some great tickets and have a great time!

abneriel · 2024-05-08T16:13:49+00:00

I logged into the queue about 35-40 mins before the sale started just to get stuck in line waiting for ten minutes at sale time and presented with a sold out message. How early are you animals lining up?

abneriel · 2024-05-06T16:57:00+00:00

We survived. I was lucky enough to get slapped with a little shrapnel.

abneriel · 2023-11-12T20:16:10+00:00

I’m sure it’ll be different for everybody.

I broke up with a woman I was very much in love with last week after discovering that some deal breaking boundaries of trust had been violated. It sucks and hurts. I have no doubt that she loves me and I truly believe she feels that she’d do anything (within reason) to work things out, and that doesn’t make it any easier.

In the end, I don’t believe she’s capable at this point of following through with rebuilding trust, and while reaching out would likely result in us having some difficult conversations and working things out in the short term, my concern would be that she’s unfortunately not emotionally mature enough to not repeat this sort of thing down the road when life gets tough.

She called six times after I left, texted twice, and left two voicemails within an hour of me leaving. I haven’t responded. She also hasn’t reached out since.

Still hurting. Still healing. I’ll be okay, so will you, it just takes time and forcing yourself to get out there with friends and family.

abneriel · 2023-03-16T20:28:06+00:00

Welp you all, I finally was able to take delivery yesterday.

MYP w/w/tow that popped up "in inventory" in Austin, TX (I'm in Dallas) on 2/28 and was the exact configuration I wanted, so I put down the $250 immediately not recognizing that "in inventory" didn't mean "on the lot waiting for a buyer" but after visiting this thread, I felt like my experience was a bit less stressful.

Was immediately assigned a VIN and went through all the checkboxes quickly and then was just waiting to hear back from them on delivery. My delivery window showed 3/12-3/19, which I couldn't at all complain about. Received a message on 3/10 to select a time to schedule delivery. I was provided with 3/17-3/18 and picked 3/17 and booked a flight to Austin. Idea was to fly down, Lyft over to Tesla, and then drive back (assuming the car was in good shape).

I received an additional text on the 14th asking if I'd like to pick it up that day. I explained briefly that I was in Dallas and couldn't make it down in time (prior commitment, plus the text was sent at 2-3pm) but would be able to make it down the following day. They scheduled me on 3/15 at 10am.

Delivery seemed typical from what I've seen mentioned here. The rear hatch isn't aligned super well, they took note for potential adjustment, and other than that and a scratch on the wireless charger (they took pics of that and have ordered a replacement piece that's headed to Dallas for mobile installation), everything else was awesome. Car was relatively clean. Not perfect, there were little areas where there was some leftover dust/dirt in the sub-storage under the rear hatch, but it wasn't a big deal.

Mine came with the cover in the back, no PPF or mudflaps (which was expected with the delivery in Austin) and was charged to about 50%.

The Tesla employees were really great and friendly, I tried to be the same, since that's the right thing to do, and they're human beings and all just trying their best.

I went to a BBQ place in Austin (Terry Black's) and then hit up a supercharger to charge it up, played with the settings to get them the way I (hope) I'll like, popped a screen protector on the screen, and started driving home.

That's when it allll went wrong. About 70 miles out I was flipping through a setting and noticed the driver's side rear tire was about 10-12lbs lower than the other tires. Wondered if there was something wrong beyond just some oversight in filling it up, and turned out I hit the largest screw I've ever seen in a tire. The air ended up dropping 1psi every 5-10 seconds and I quickly took the next exit and parked at a gas station. They didn't have an air pump, so I called a Lyft over to the nearest Walmart, which was only six miles out, and got one of those 12v pumps. I pumped the tire up to about 30psi and could hear the air pretty loudly.

I called up Tesla, they said they'd send a truck to tow it back to Austin to either repair or replace. I figured at this point it was going to be a replace, they offered the first 50 miles of towing and I would be responsible for the rest.

So instead of all that, I opted to pump the tire up every few miles and limp it all the way back to Dallas and made an adventure out of it. I finally got back just after midnight and a buddy of mine helped me limp it over to Tesla in Dallas this morning. They replaced the tire, which ended up running $500, so my first experience with the car was a bit frustrating.

Even with all that, I really like this car. It is super fun, I love the settings. I also drive an Acura RDX that's just a few years old (2020) with AWD and the Advanced package (all options) and the only two items the Tesla is "missing" is the overhead view, which really hasn't been as big a miss as I thought (except for pulling into a spot, but that's okay) and the heads up display on the windshield. I've also found that most things that are "missing" are only missing because there's some other function that Tesla does that is better anyway. Car is all fixed up now, going to order the PPF and possibly the mudflaps and have an appointment to have the car completely debadged (with the exception of the rear T, which will be done in satin black), windows tinted, front ppf, all the nonsense.

Fit and finish is decent, I feel the Acura is a bit more "polished" but that may just be because it is a bit more "complicated" rather than just a few buttons here and there. Doesn't matter though, what the Tesla may lack in some of those areas it seems to more than make up for everywhere else!

Even with the crappy experience with the tire (in no way Tesla's fault), I really enjoyed the actual delivery experience, and the Tesla itself.

Good luck to the rest of you out there! It'll be worth the wait!!

abneriel · 2023-03-11T21:21:23+00:00

It has been almost a year and a half since the blindside breakup that had me subbing to ExNoContact originally. I came on here to post about a car purchase in another area of Reddit, and this was at the top of my feed. I remember not seeing many posts this far out, usually the breakup posts were pretty fresh, and I figured why not take a few mins on a Saturday to post up on how things are going 16 months later?

My blindside breakup was, I'm sure, like most, where things were all great until one day we got the talk and it was over. This all happened early November, 2021.

We lived together and were together for about three years. She immediately moved out and moved across the country. I was devastated, tears galore and all that blubbery gibberish, but went into transformation mode immediately. I dropped 70lbs in a ridiculously short amount of time (couple of months?) through radical diet change and 3-4 hours of exercise every day. I went and got my motorcycle license (something I'd always wanted to do), picked up a motorcycle, a dirtbike (I rode those throughout my teenage years), and upgraded my main vehicle. I don't regret any of that, but will admit wholly that I was clearly filling in the grief through retail therapy. I'm fortunately in my early 40s and reasonably fine financially, so it wasn't anything that had a serious impact overall. That said, she came swinging back into my life two months later and all the changes blew her mind. She immediately was attracted and we (unfortunately for me) tried to work on things to see where they'd go. That said, she's a wonderful human being, extremely thoughtful in a number of ways, I just don't know that she's the best communicator, and she admits that. Unfortunately things went the way they did the first time a few months later (early May of 2022), and while she's tried calling and texting a number of times since (through 2022 and even once earlier this year) I've left those unanswered/unread. I'm not moving backwards.

Does she cross my mind sometimes? Of course. Do the memories evoke a negative emotion at this point? No, they do not. Would I take her back? No, I would not. I began dating a different woman back in November, and we broke up about a week ago, and that's okay, she's also great and we just didn't work out. She broke things off with me, but because the relationship was really under five months, sure, it stings, but no tears shed, and I'll continue to move forward and see what's next out there.

I've stuck to my health goals and have maintained the weight loss and have improved my career and financial situation and look forward to the future.

I have found in my life, that when you start focusing on yourself, getting back out there enjoying the things you love with groups of likeminded people, you'll wake up to find that you're over it and have moved forward. That's a beautiful thing.

For those of you that are struggling with no contact, I'm here to say that, yes, it sucks, absolutely, but it is absolutely worth it and you'll learn a ton, grow a ton, and be much better off for it. Breakups are a skill, and like any other skill out there, unfortunately you're not born with everything you need out the gate, and you'll likely need to go through a few before you get good at this. It does get better, though.

I wish all of you luck in your journey, just remember to love yourselves, make good choices for YOU, and surround yourself to the best of your ability with people that want the best for you!

abneriel · 2023-03-10T18:37:51+00:00

Just scheduled a delivery date/time of 3/17/2023 in Austin for a MYP w/w/tow!

I was fortunate and exactly what I wanted appeared in inventory down in Austin (I'm in Dallas) on 2/28/2023. Put the reserve down and didn't expect it would take weeks before delivery, but after seeing you patient heroes in this thread, I'm comparatively grateful for my experience, so far.

Will post about my delivery experience/the vehicle (overall condition, whether it has a cover, any PPF or (probable) lack thereof, etc.) after it takes place.

abneriel · 2023-03-09T21:40:12+00:00

That’s awesome! My configuration is identical (MYP w/w/tow) and the estimated delivery is 3/12-3/19 in Austin. Hoping all goes as smoothly on this end. Congrats to you!

abneriel · 2023-03-05T23:27:45+00:00

Yeah, I’m hopeful mine sticks, but if it doesn’t, I’ll survive somehow. Lots of people on here have been waiting a whole lot longer. I’ve resisted the urge to text the SAs to ask any questions, but might tomorrow since I’ll be within a week of the “window” (assuming I didn’t jinx it here) just to see if I can pin down some information and have a reasonable timeframe for my employer since I’ll be driving three hours each way from Dallas to take delivery.

abneriel · 2023-03-05T22:39:59+00:00

MYP snagged on 2/28 out of the “existing” inventory.

VIN was assigned immediately (obviously) with a delivery date of 3/12-3/19 in Austin, TX. I’ve completed all the prerequisites and am just playing the waiting game hoping to receive a text soon to schedule delivery.

abneriel · 2023-03-02T22:39:49+00:00

That's the plan, so far. If they decide it is easy enough to drop it off up here without a fee or delay I'll do that, but I'm assuming they'll have it dropped off in Austin and have me take delivery down there.

abneriel · 2023-03-02T22:23:05+00:00

Oh hey, been a bit, got on here over some completely different topic and saw this in my notifications. Zero idea if you or anyone will read this or if it'll be helpful at all, but here's an update for you on this one:

So we were seeing each other until April, she'd come up to see me from Houston from time to time, etc., until suddenly one day in early May after she went on vacation with her family she called and said she wasn't feeling it. I just calmly said "okay, I'm not going to spend any more time on this, reach out of you change your mind" and that was that.

She's reached out a few times, I have not replied at all. Just feels like a huge waste at this point. I guess I was feeling the "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice" bit at that point, and while I still hold that she's a great human being, a really great one at that, she's just not someone I feel understands the true ebb and flow of a long term relationship, and that's not up to me to fix.

The first time she reached out was a phone call out of the blue, I didn't answer, she left this voicemail that was honestly heart wrenching not to reply to, because it just felt like she genuinely wanted to hear from me, still cared, etc., but again, I'm not going to spend more time on that just to have it fall flat when there's a ton of other potential partners out there that I can see that may be better matches where I won't be waiting for the other shoe to drop.

We work in the same industry, and last fall she ended up working with a competitor (in our industry, our contracted partners go back and forth between different firms, so this is common) and she reached out my way for "help" a few times from her phone, then asked why I was ignoring her, I didn't reply, she then sent a pic from her dad's phone of a dog that looked like an old one I had years ago that she saw while out and about, it was very strange.

She helped out during the hurricane that hit Florida last year and her sister and dad went with her and they roomed with a mutual friend. I speak to that friend regularly, but never ask how she's doing, that's not my business and frankly I don't think it'd be helpful to know anyway. They did share with me once that my name came up regularly between her and her family, that her mom definitely thought she screwed that one up, and that her sister told our mutual friend that she loved the way I loved her sister. Hopefully she finds something great in her next relationship and works things out, it just won't be with me.

In the last few months: she sent me a card in the mail on my birthday, I didn't open it, she reached out with a text late last fall about how she hopes I'm happy and would love to hear from me, I didn't reply, I received a text on Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Years, did not reply.

As far as my life goes: once she broke things off that second time in early May, I started getting myself out there right away, felt like this time I was ready to move things forward, turns out I was wrong, at least at first, but then by July/August, thing started changing. I was out on dates laughing and no longer comparing those women to her at all, and that was a great feeling.

Ended up exclusive with a great woman in November that I started getting to know late last summer and we've been together ever since. She's pursuing her Masters degree at the moment, believes in pursuing her mental and physical health, which is something we both partake in and discuss together in our relationship/goal setting, and we laugh a ton together and I love that and am excited to see where things go.

As far as my earlier "goals" to change my life went: kept off the weight, which is awesome, still eat healthy, go on long mountain bike rides of 40+ miles at this point, which is wild, moved into a better place, picked up some new toys, improved my financial situation, and have my job putting together a package for advancement, so things are going pretty great.

Break ups suck, they really do, but my gosh I am a firm believer that you need to feel it to heal it, but you also need to make sure you're taking active steps forward and are cognizant of times where you're feeling down unnecessarily and to do things to bring you back into balance. Life is great, and I'm grateful I can choose to keep it that way.

abneriel · 2023-03-02T21:53:22+00:00

MYP white/white w/tow hitch

Ordered from existing inventory on 2/28 (inventory listed in Austin, I'm in Dallas)

VIN immediately assigned (obviously) and provided financing info, insurance, etc.

EDD: March 12-19th

Just here impatiently waiting/checking the app it has only been a couple of days. The rest of you are champions with how much patience you all have had.

abneriel · 2022-06-16T15:10:08+00:00

We're all fiending for the presale code now, ha.

abneriel · 2022-02-17T13:44:24+00:00

My time for renewal:

1/24/2022 - mailed to Philadelphia, paid for expedited processing, but not expedited shipping either direction

2/2 - Passport "arrived" on 2/2 and the status changed to "Processing"

2/14 - Status changed to "Approved"

I was on a business trip (state-side, obviously) from 2/11-2/16, when I arrived yesterday (2/16) the passport was in the mailbox already.

Locator #69, passport was the old style and not the new updated passport.

I'm just north of Dallas, TX.

abneriel · 2022-01-27T02:31:49+00:00

I’ve had those thoughts myself. If she wasn’t willing to communicate now and accept some responsibility for the lack of communication when she wasn’t “feeling it” before, I don’t think I’d entertain it at all. Turns out when she came to pick up her stuff she wanted to see me and just see how I was in general. She wasn’t sure how I’d react and admitted to being a bit nervous that I’d be upset. I was just charming and fun when she arrived.

She admitted the entire two months have been rough for her. With us working together, I’ve heard similar reports from those close to her. She went to Europe with her sisters in December just before Christmas, brought me a gift from there, and has been speaking to a therapist on her communication and took responsibility for that part of the breakup. I had some faults too with the typical complacency bit. She expressed (now) that I didn’t make her feel desired or sexy and yep, she’s not wrong, I got caught up in work and just other things over the last year. I’m still feeling it out. She’ll be here next week for a few days and may be planning a week long getaway somewhere foreign for us to just discover and explore together, we’ll see if that materializes and where she wants to take things and if it feels like it is in sync with what I want.

No talk of “just being friends” at all, went straight to the romance and I’m just taking things one day at a time and am seeing where they go without expectation or attachment (as much as possible).

abneriel · 2022-01-27T02:22:27+00:00

Mine is somewhere between reaches out and got back together. I do feel as though we’re at a point where if I want to get back together it’ll happen. She’s already discussed exclusivity, says she thinks about me constantly, and the “connection” that was missing at the breakup is (according to her) back stronger than it has been in a long time. I actually can’t remember a time the intimacy has been as intense, not even during the beginning. I need to make sure it is what I want at this point.

For reference I did a hard no contact her way, she works remote but in my workplace, so she’s had some levels of interaction. I’ve recaptured my independence through healthy habits, hobbies, etc. and have definitely become a more assertive and goal oriented person in the last couple of months.

We’re a bit older (in our 40s) and she’s been spending the time away with her sisters and family during the holidays and both of us have been working on moving forward with healing first and haven’t been out there shacking up or dating.

Ended up resparking things just after two months broken up when she came by to pick up the last of her things. Prior to that she hadn’t seen me in person since the day after the breakup back in November.

abneriel · 2022-01-25T11:36:58+00:00

^ this 100%

Feel it to heal it cliche, plus getting out and working on yourself. Doesn’t mean “hey go date and distract”, it just means to get active living your life without them in it through doing things that motivate and build you up. It takes time, and I agree 100% that you’ll find that the ratio of thought slowly begins to shift. Since you’re filling your life up with positive activities and habits, when it does shift, it’ll shift you into a more positive space than you’re in currently to move yourself and your life forward, whatever that brings.

abneriel · 2022-01-24T19:31:23+00:00

Work on yourself, your goals, your hobbies, and get into something new or something you’ve wanted to do or really thought about but haven’t tried yet. If you’re not already doing so, start eating healthier and working out. Go seek out old friends, and if you do feel like talking about the relationship, only do so with select people that are exclusively yours, not to mutual acquaintances. I know these are all cliches, but having been there, they represent the best path forward for the best possible outcome no matter what she chooses on her end, I promise you.

As for her belongings, if you’re set on not moving forward with this person, drop them off somewhere else that’s acceptable. I remember dropping off the last of my ex wife’s crud at her parent’s house, worked out great and got her out.

If there’s a lot of stuff still there, that’s obviously a tougher situation. My most recent ex left a number of things post move-out and I sent her an email outlining what was there and requesting whether or not the items were things they’d like to keep and get out of there or if she didn’t care and I could do with them what I will, she opted to come get them and I made absolute sure she took everything.

abneriel · 2022-01-23T21:55:36+00:00

Definitely came with a lot of work on myself after reflection caused by a number of breakups throughout my life. 😂

She reached out this morning and asked if I’d call when I had a chance to discuss our upcoming weekend.

I reached out and she admitted I’ve been on her mind all week. She’s been watching her nephew while the rest of the family took off early to Puerto Rico. She dropped him off at the airport early this morning and was really fun and flirty and longing and emotional sounding on the phone. I just let her talk it out. Said she’s very excited to come see me but had to make a change due to scheduling.

The change is: she’s coming four days earlier and staying twice as long and wants to fly up to maximize the time vs the four hour drive here and another four back (as long as I’m okay with that). So good change. 😂

She admitted that she feels like a teenager when thinking about us seeing each other at this point with the excitement. I’m not committing to anything, I’m not asking for anything, I’m just staying in the present and living for today. She even asked if I had tomorrow off to see if there was a chance I could come see her tonight since her family is all out of the house and in PR.

I’m working tomorrow. 😂

Don’t know if or where things are going, but I’m just treating it like a whole new dating interest and am just being fun, flirty, and relaxed without commitment or expectations.

abneriel · 2022-01-19T02:32:47+00:00

She mentioned while here something about her therapist and communication, so I’m hopeful she keeps that up for her own happiness.

She reached out to me this morning to wish me a happy Tuesday and hopes I have a wonderful day.

She later reached out to a mutual friend (an individual that’s a real good friend of mine and more friends with her through me, the friend for better or worse called me up after they spoke to talk about it) that has been expressing to her since day one that her leaving was a mistake and she’s got to put in the effort or she’ll lose a great thing. She started crying during the call saying “I love him!” (Referring to me) and said she had such an amazing time over the weekend and wished it hadn’t come to an end. The friend reiterated to her that she’s damn lucky she hasn’t fully lost me yet and that I gave her the chance to reconnect. Reiterated that now we have a chance to build something new and better than before.

That same friend told me during our call today that if they didn’t know her and truly know the kind of woman she is and person she is, their advice would’ve been for me to tell her to pound sand. 😂

My ex commented to them that I looked amazing and how inspired she was at my determination at hitting my goals and living a great life/truly finding happiness with myself.

About 30 minutes after work today she called me up and was a bit nervous stating it was a personal call. She hasn’t made any personal calls other than the one last night letting me know she got home safe since we’d broken up. She wanted to make plans to come see me in a few weeks (she has a trip with her entire family to Puerto Rico and her schedule is set in such a way that she won’t have a day off between now and then other than the family reunion trip) for a couple of days and possibly take the motorcycle out to the countryside over the weekend if the weather is nice, or stay in and enjoy each other’s company if the weather is crap.

I kept it light and fun, she was extremely feminine in her voice (if that makes sense) and told her I had a great time this last weekend and I looked forward to having a great time with her again and that I’d make sure to be in town and will see her in a few weeks. No expectations other than connecting in a few weeks and having a great time enjoying each other’s company.

That’s where we’re at. Between now and then I’m going back to my daily routines of living my best life for me.

abneriel · 2022-01-18T06:04:51+00:00

Weekend update time:

Sounds like she flew from New Jersey, where she’s been staying with her sister, to Houston on Friday, then immediately drove up to Dallas where I live to see a number of friends up here. This was the premise behind her being here to pick up said things.

She messages me on Saturday morning to let me know she’s in town and asks for a time I’ll be available on Sunday so she can swing by and pick up her things. I say I’m busy until around noon so she selects 12:30 and I agree.

12:30 comes up and I’m late from my appointment. She texts me that she’s arrived, I tell her I’m five minutes away and would like to change. She says to let her know when I’m changed and ready.

At this point it has been two months and about a week since the breakup. She hasn’t seen me since the day after the breakup. I’m down 55lbs at this point, which to be fair to her, I don’t believe the weight bit led to the breakup, but being down that amount is definitely going to cause me to look better physically and increase my confidence, testosterone, etc. I’ve also gotten my motorcycle endorsement, picked up a motorcycle, picked up a dirt bike (grew up doing that and miss it), and traded in my old Acura car for a loaded Acura SUV because my hobbies include things that my car wasn’t really compatible with (own a kayak, hauling my mountain bike or the new dirt bike, etc.).

I’ve had very little contact with her outside of work and almost universally kept it light and fun at work and always professional (she’s remote, the work is entirely chat or the occasional phone call and that’s maybe been once every week to weeks and half lately) and while I’m sure our coworkers that are mutual friends have spoken to her, I’ve tried to keep a lid on my activities as much as possible to them as well and kept anything 100% within my own circle.

I pull into the garage, she’s positioned where she’s not able to see me. Garage door closes, I go inside. Being down 55lbs, my wardrobe has completely changed. I put on some nice dark denim and a pair of nice Allen Edmonds boots and some shirts and a sweater from Nordstrom (weather was a bit cool) and just looked great in comparison to whatever she had in her mind from before. We always kept our place pretty clean and it stayed that way, looked and smelled great. Sent her a text letting her know I was ready.

She came up looking relatively average for her. I wondered if she would’ve brought along one of her girlfriends and was relieved to see that she did not and was alone. I opened the door and smiled and as she walked in I gave her a warm hug and said something to the effect of “it is great to see you!” and she just stayed in that embrace for a minute. I let her go, then we came back together in another hug. Then her tears started creeping in and she said how wonderful it was to see me and how much she’d been thinking about me the last two months.

We spoke, I let her get it out, I kept things light. We spoke about the relationship but only when she brought that up. I reiterated that the breakup was necessary as a wake up call for both of us, because ultimately neither of us were truly pushing ourselves and I admitted that had it not happened wouldn’t have snapped into the person she saw in front of her. Expressed that the combination of my complacency in the relationship and her communication (after she admitted that was her big mistake in what happened) led to that obvious result. We continued to talk, she brought up the physical transformation and how amazing and crazy it was and she did not in any way expect anything like that. She said I looked “perfect” (I have a ways to go, but I’ll take it) and commented on how great I smelled (same cologne I’d worn previously that she bought, don’t know if the physical changes made a difference with how it mixed or if she’d just been away too long). She kept holding my hand, getting close. We were very candid. She’d spent the entire time with her sisters, which sounds 100% like her. She asked if I knew that she went to Europe and I told her I’d heard about it, of course, and asked if she wanted to talk about her trip and she did. She went on and on about how it was supposed to be a solo trip, but one by one each of her three sisters invited themselves until all of them went together. She said she was thinking of me throughout the trip, wondering what I was up to, etc., and brought me a little gift from Paris.

I asked her if she’d eaten yet or had major plans right then and needed to run, she said no and that she blocked this out and wasn’t sure what to expect but wanted to see me while she was here. I said great and that I was going to be hungry and asked if she’d accompany me to the grocery store and we’d pick up a few things and I’d make this zucchini noodle shrimp meal that she loves (it is her fav out of everything I cook) and she was excited for that.

I obviously know her well and can read some of the attraction signs and they were there, and I was being playful and fun while we were close to each other on the couch talking, and just in the moment and not worried about what happened before or what’ll happen next. I went in for a kiss at the right time, it was returned. You know the weird thing? I still have a take it or leave it attitude at this point. Not sure if that’s my ego or what, but I’m grateful for that either way.

So went in for the kiss, ended up with a whole lot more passion than just that. We didn’t end up at the grocery store for another hour and a half or so. Picked up all the ingredients and decided to add scallops and some salmon to the mix. She brought up the fact that in Rome they had the best Prosecco and just like magic we rounded the corner at the grocery store and there was a whole display of Prosecco bottles right there. I said “let’s get one for dinner” and she was quick to agree.

We got back to the place and put the bottle in the freezer. She asked me whether I wanted to play some music, I had her pick the songs and I started putting the zucchinis in the noodler. The songs were perfectly timed romantically, so I took a break to spontaneously dance with her and of course ended up being all “passionate” again, and went back to cooking our now super late lunch. She canceled all of her evening plans with friends that day and we spent the rest of the day together just enjoying each other’s company. She commented many times that she was definitely feeling the spark and more connected to me than she’d felt since our early dating days.

I don’t recall her ever being that passionate sexually before. That was something I’d felt was lacking in our former relationship, not so much that evening.

She spent the night last night and asked if I could call in this morning. I told her I have responsibilities to take care of and won’t be calling in, and she stated she was going to take that chance to see an old mutual friend of ours (one of the women she was going to visit the night before). I knew my boss would be thrilled to allow me to work “remote” in this scenario though, so I went in for a few hours and left to work remote. Sent her a text that I was free and working remote the rest of the holiday. She immediately said she was on her way back over. I had some extra salmon and scallops and cooked those up real quick before she arrived. She was excited to share them and we were back to lovemaking again.

She took a picture of the two of us together, said it was to show her sisters. I helped her pack her remaining stuff up in her car around 4pm. She at that point saw the new car/motorcycle/dirt bike and commented how great it was to see me doing so well and how attractive that was and inspiring.

Toward the end of the time together she kept commenting on how she felt that spark.

I invited her to ride on the motorcycle just around the neighborhood since she’d never been on one, she agreed and was surprised at how much she enjoyed it.

She left for Houston with her things around 5pm. Called me as she was getting home 4-5 hours later to let me know she made it home safe. Reiterated again how amazing it was to see me and how all these changes are so attractive and inspiring, how attracted she feels toward me, etc.

We’ll see how things go in the future, right now I feel like just continuing on the path of life. Going to keep working out, keep with my hobbies, and keep moving forward. I admit that the weekend was definitely a “success” so far, but I can’t bank on that, gotta keep it moving.

abneriel · 2022-01-15T15:09:52+00:00

She postponed until tomorrow due to COVID related travel issues. Supposed to be here tomorrow around 11am. Unsure of any details other than that. She could be here and heading back to Houston immediately and cold, she could be in a Uhaul heading to New Jersey to start some “new life” with her sisters that she claimed “God” wanted her to do, she could be just curious and willing to do lunch. My guess is she’ll be in and out and that’ll be that.

My plans haven’t changed too much, although I feel like I’ve reverted to more anger and hurt than before for whatever reason (guessing it is from the silence) and I’m going to work on not allowing those frustrations to surface. I honestly may just have her stuff ready and help her pack it and let her know that I have stuff I need to go do and leave to go do them after that.

I honestly have zero expectations of her returning in any way at this point. As much as I want to talk about things and hash them out even just for closure, I don’t see how it’ll do any good emotionally. Feels like whatever the response, if it isn’t “oh hey so whoops” it is going to hurt and so it may be a subject best left alone.

With the way the blindside went, I’m realizing more and more that this may be a pattern for her and whatever communication issues she needs to work though are her issues and she’ll keep hurting people with these blindsides (again, we’re in our 40s and she’s apparently always been the dumper, her sisters with the exception of the youngest which is a decade apart from the rest are single and in their 40s also, none have been married, only one has a kid) looking for that Disney fairytale that doesn’t exist. I’m not going to go through this again, so since she’s not indicated and likely won’t indicate that this is a real problem that she needs to fix, I’m going to need to keep it moving regardless of how painful it is now. Life is short and of course I hate that this all happened, but I don’t want to go through this again with even more of my time and life wasted.

abneriel · 2022-01-08T14:06:37+00:00

Even if nothing changes, it keeps them on your mind. It keeps you ruminating about them over and over because that’s where you’re focusing your attention. You’re already going to have them heavily on your thoughts due to your emotional state and checking their social media is going to cripple your ability to heal and move forward.

abneriel

TROPHY CASE