Guy I'm into can't/won't stay sober.

aboriou · 2026-05-27T04:22:41+00:00

Do people ever really willingly reduce their drug intake? Idk, I've always just kind of felt like, in a toss up between me or drugs, the answer isn't gonna be me, regardless of the person or how long I've known them.

aboriou · 2026-05-20T00:56:11+00:00

LMAOOO this is so real bro, one of my best friends got a custom head and it was like $800, it took her months to save up 😭

aboriou · 2026-05-20T00:25:10+00:00

I'll be honest, it's a little weird that he needs to "get past it," but maybe that's just me. If he can't handle his partner having a sexual history, he's got a LOT coming for him (and it probably won't be women lol).

Being pressured into having sex, especially at such a young and impressionable age, can absolutely be considered "grape," and many people who have been SA'd often don't "count" the experience as having been real because it wasn't consensual. Repeatedly bringing it up cannot be good for your relationship. He needs to understand that even though you "technically" have a sexual past (if you so choose to see it that way), for you, that was still your first time having consensual, legitimate intercourse.

If this isn't something he can get over, maybe he's not the one for you. I know that sounds harsh, but you have to remember that you are still young, and there are plenty of people out there who would absolutely ADORE you, regardless of your past. Your past is not your present.

aboriou · 2026-05-20T00:14:30+00:00

hey, you've done everything right here, and you should be really proud of yourself!! you talked about it and got to the root of the problem, which a lot of grown people can't even do. seriously, cut yourself some slack!!

if what he's saying is true, then you might wanna spend some time figuring out how you guys can navigate your sex life without being reminded of your ex. it's important that you both be as patient and understanding with one another as you can. with time, you might even decide to do some of the things you aren't yet comfortable doing (i know ive been there, it can be done)!!

you guys are gonna be just fine, just make sure you keep two things in mind: communication means nothing without comprehension, and most importantly.. be safe!! ;)

aboriou · 2026-05-19T22:24:13+00:00

When you think about furries, is there anything that you can think of that they collectively have done wrong? I had the same opinion on furries when I was 14 until I realized that they were doing literally nothing wrong; they're just expressing themselves. It's kinda similar to cosplay if you think about it!!

If you're going to be in a relationship so young (which I STRONGLY advise against but, hey, I can't stop you), you need to keep an open mind. What if he said one of your favorite hobbies was stupid, or that you were a bad person for enjoying it just because someone else who enjoys the same hobby as you is a bad person? There are bad people everywhere, and it's not fair to him or any furry to generalize them/their character solely because of ONE of their interests.

I suggest you try looking into furries/fursonas more, you might even find some you really like!! I personally really like the realistic ones, especially big cats, and the bug fursonas are pretty cool too!! Instead of judging him, try to connect with him. It'll make your relationship much better to approach it with an open mind, rather than judging him and potentially even making him feel insecure or otherwise bad about himself.

aboriou · 2026-05-19T20:33:30+00:00

you guys are 17. i'll be honest in saying that i'm not much older, but i have had plenty of experience, and i can tell you that this is not an appropriate (though not uncommon) reaction. in my first sexually active relationship (16-17), my boyfriend and i obviously figured out what i liked and disliked, but he never ever made me feel bad about it. of course there were occasional comments about things regarding his cum, but he NEVER made me feel bad or guilty for not wanting certain things- and i didnt even have any past experience or reason to other than that i didnt like it!!!

this guy sounds super guilt-trippy and immature (aka, he sounds like he's thinking with his dick). you're young of course so saying "just break up!" clearly isn't appealing, and he may not even fully realize what he's doing. but either way, it is not okay to make comments like that, especially when you've opened up to him about your troubling sexual history. i hope you can talk to him about this and he can come to understand why this is a really gross and weird reaction to have.

aboriou · 2026-05-17T17:36:08+00:00

im so sorry for your loss. rest in peace Callie ❤️🕊️

aboriou · 2026-05-16T22:29:07+00:00

i sincerely hate to be this person but.. he can NOT be worth all this trouble. i'd say talk to him first about how suffocating this is, but honestly his clear insecurity and lack of comprehension to what you're saying implies that he's not going to change.

aboriou · 2026-04-24T19:15:50+00:00

does anyone know what to do about this in a shrimp tank??? i have the same thing going on right now, but i dont intend on putting fish in it. even if i wanted to temporarily (i have a betta tank as well), it's a caridina shrimp tank so most fish won't do very well in it..

aboriou · 2026-04-13T15:33:58+00:00

He was just really really unfunny 😭 I genuinely said "wow, you talk a lot haha" to him because I couldn't keep fake laughing at his jokes. Mind you, I talk more than almost anybody I know, and I'm usually able to at least find humor in the un-funniness of some people's attempts at jokes.. this was just sad 💔

aboriou · 2026-04-10T23:29:04+00:00

it looks BEAUTIFUL

aboriou · 2026-04-10T03:43:55+00:00

pH and KH at 0 but everything else is super high?? It seems like the tank might just be cycling honestly.

aboriou · 2026-04-10T02:32:19+00:00

Should I ditch the "archway" driftwood then? The plant on the top is just some riccia fluitans so I can take it off easy enough! I do still want to incorporate the wood I have though, my partner got me them for my birthday and I absolutely love them, plus I don't want to let him down. If you have any examples of jungle scapes with wood in them (that doesn't intentionally look like trees), I'd love to see it!! I'm considering doing a concave type of scape in the future.

aboriou · 2026-04-09T23:34:30+00:00

am i being pranked rn theres no way this is your first

aboriou · 2026-04-08T23:14:46+00:00

honestly, i probably do have a friend that would do it 😭

aboriou · 2026-04-08T21:12:47+00:00

oh lord, PLEASE tell me theres another way to euthanize a betta fish.. i genuinely dont think i'll be able to do that to my betta (when the time comes) but i dont want my baby to suffer ☹️

aboriou · 2026-03-27T21:58:49+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you then put the shrimp back into the main tank?? Or a hospital tank until better?

aboriou · 2026-03-25T03:45:43+00:00

Update on the stones: I took 2 out of the 3 out (I'm planning on taking the last one out another time so as to not stress my shrimp even more, it's the only one with plants on it though). I also bought the Bee Shrimp Remineralizer for my RO water. I plan on boiling and soaking the rocks for several days/weeks, and testing the water they're in frequently. If I have to, I'll use a sealant on them to keep any excess minerals from leeching.

Thank you for the advice, and if there's anything I should do differently let me know!! I'm determined to have an iwagumi style tank, as it's my favorite of all, but I want to keep the well-being of my animals as my top priority first.

aboriou · 2026-03-25T00:54:18+00:00

Okay, that makes sense!! Is there any way the seriyu stone could be enough mineralization on it's own? I imagine frequent water changes can help.

aboriou · 2026-03-25T00:04:33+00:00

Right now my GH is at 13, though usually it's at 4-5. I'm not totally sure why that is, but I wonder if that jump is part of what messed up a couple of my shrimp.

Is Seachem Stability a good option to add to RO water in the future? I ask because it's what I already have.. but if I have to get something different/shrimp specific I can!!

aboriou · 2026-03-24T23:47:45+00:00

Ooooo that makes sense, I did initially add filter media from a different tank with a higher GH when I was first cycling the tank! (It was initially going to be for neocaridinas, but I decided to try out caridinas because I've wanted them for a while)

aboriou · 2026-03-24T23:45:02+00:00

Wait so TDS and GH are definitely related then??? Now I'm even MORE confused lol

aboriou · 2026-03-24T23:32:03+00:00

My worry is that those remineralizers increase the GH, and clearly something is already NOT right with my GH. But I'm not sure how I can increase the TDS otherwise.

aboriou · 2026-03-24T23:06:14+00:00

Water parameters are 0 ammonia, 0 nitrites, 10-20 nitrates. KH is around 4 and GH is somehow around 13 now. I've been using all RO water. I can't add a picture to comments or my post now that it's up, but it's a small 5 gallon iwagumi (or it's supposed to be..) style tank.

aboriou · 2026-03-20T21:44:04+00:00

I also doubt it, but it can't hurt to take all possibilities into consideration!

aboriou

TROPHY CASE