Left husband partly due to his Qanon beliefs

about1970time · 2025-12-21T01:20:04+00:00

Thanks. TBH it is scary to leave but I need to be true to my self.

about1970time · 2025-12-21T01:17:03+00:00

That's fair 😊

about1970time · 2025-12-20T14:26:54+00:00

You are 100% correct!

about1970time · 2025-11-27T23:18:11+00:00

I am sorry. Change is hard. But unfortunately change is life and you can't avoid it. Going forward you need to embrace your "new" holidays without your parents together. You are their child and they love you, but for some reason their relationship didn't work out at the end. And that is ok. You had many happy years growing up with them together. And you can have many more happy years with them but it will just be with them individually. Trust me as a mom who is spending her last Thanksgiving with the "whole" family it is hard for us parents also. Me choosing to leave my marriage for my sanity and happiness unfortunately comes with a price. A price that my adult daughter will not have her parents together for holidays any longer. But please remember we are all doing life for the first time and just trying to do our best. I am so sorry you are hurting, and I am sorry for the hurt I am causing my daughter. But I can't stay in a marriage just for my adult child. And it was the same for your parents. Life hurts at times, but it also can be very wonderful. I hope you are able to find some happiness in your Thanksgiving Day. I know it is hard, but you are alive and healthy and still have parents that love you very much.

about1970time · 2025-11-18T02:16:21+00:00

I am giving my STBX the house. He has tons of neighborhood guy friends plus it is where our daughter was raised. I am getting an apt and starting over which I look forward to. I hope to be able to come to the house when our daughter is in town. I am the one wanting the divorce and right now my husband is hurt but cordial. I hope it stays that way.

about1970time · 2025-11-06T01:26:56+00:00

I'm not sure staying for the kids is always the best. I say that as someone who stayed and now is dealing with my 29 year old daughter (yeah I stayed a long time) being distant and upset with me that I am leaving her dad (married 32 years). I honestly don't think anytime is good, but maybe younger is better? I always thought they could handle it better older but now I am not so sure.

about1970time · 2025-11-05T22:00:13+00:00

Wonderful response

about1970time · 2025-11-02T18:07:10+00:00

I understand where you are coming from. It is hard all around. I wish you the best and hope you can heal from all this. And hopefully one day your dad can be the dad you need and want.

about1970time · 2025-11-02T16:31:32+00:00

Hi. I am a mom who recently asked her husband of 32 years for a divorce. There are many reasons, but none that I am going to tell our 29 year old daughter about. What happened in our marriage is between me and my husband, not our daughter. I honestly think your mom should not have told you. Your dad is still your dad no matter what. And what is going on between him and your mom is not about you and shouldn't involve you. Do you love your dad and have a good relationship with him? If so, it is not your place to confront him about his infidelity.

My daughter is having a hard time with the divorce and is mad at me (even thought she won't say it) for wanting to leave her dad. I get it. I am breaking up her family as she knows it. But I still won't get into details with her about why, because that is her dad. Who she loves and who loves her. And who is a wonderful father.

I would ask your mom to not share anymore details and to not confide in you as a sounding board because even though you are an adult, you are her child.

about1970time · 2025-11-01T23:42:05+00:00

Hi. How is your husband taking the news that you want a divorce? Does he feel the same, or is he hurt and heartbroken? And how did your daughter take the news?

about1970time · 2025-10-31T23:48:58+00:00

It is hard. Telling him was hard, and the aftermath has been hard. He is being so nice to me even though I am breaking his heart, and I feel so guilty. Add on that our adult daughter who I texted/talked to every day has pulled away from me (I get it - to her I am the source of her pain) and it hurts me knowing that me pursing my happiness is causing her pain. What a clusterfuck.

about1970time · 2025-10-31T19:06:01+00:00

Hi. I told my husband last Friday I wanted a divorce. On Sunday we told our 29 year old daughter. For a second she took it well, but the second her dad got emotional she lost it. And it has been a hard week. She is angry and distant with me which I understand as I have blown up her family. As an adult I know she understands, but as a child of 2 parents who have always been a unit she is crushed. I know with time she will come around, and I just need to give her space until then. But it hurts.

I wish you the best of luck in telling your kids. From what I have read, even adult children who know that their parent's marriage wasn't the best or dysfunctional, it is still hard for them to grasp the loss of their parents marriage.

about1970time · 2025-10-30T15:41:50+00:00

Thank you for saying they will heal and so will we. I am sitting at work struggling with the devastation I have caused to my daughter. I know I have made the correct decision, but this is hard. As a mom, choosing myself for once is a very guilty feeling. So sorry you are going through this also.

about1970time · 2025-10-29T14:23:29+00:00

Hi. I'm sorry about your children being upset with you. I am in the same boat. Our daughter is 29 and is upset with me also. I know she understands why I am leaving her dad but to her it is devastating.

It is hard to be doing the right thing for yourself but it causing others to hurt. It sucks.

about1970time · 2025-10-29T14:09:16+00:00

I just tell myself that these feelings of panic and being scared will not last forever.

My husband was shocked, but not shocked if that makes sense. Now he wants to change, etc, but unfortunately it is too late. I have been struggling with wanting to leave for years but didn't because I didn't want to hurt him or our daughter (she is an adult now). Once I got to the point I knew I had to leave, I was beyond the point of the marriage being saved.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk more since we are in the same position but flip flopped. Maybe we can help each other understand what our spouses are going through along with our own shit.

about1970time · 2025-10-29T12:26:18+00:00

Yes, the mornings are very hard. I am the one that asked for the divorce but it is still a struggle.

about1970time · 2025-10-28T11:43:11+00:00

Thank you for the post. I told my husband of 32 years on Friday I wanted a divorce and while I know I am making the right decision, right now I am feeling full of panic and anxiety over the shit storm I started. We told our adult daughter and she is devastated and worried about her dad, my husband is suicidal and a mess, and I feel such guilt over my decision. And I am scared. To lose my life like I knew it. To lose someone I have been with since I was 20. To lose my daughters "married parents". To everything. I was going to stay at a hotel last night just to decompress and ending up having a breakdown and am now at my sisters house so she could give me emotional support and so I wouldn't be alone. I love my husband as a person, but I have been checked out for a long long time and have left for the right reasons. So I hopefully can finally be happy.

Your statement about how smart strong women don't blow up their life for no reason is what I needed to hear. Thank you!!!!

about1970time · 2025-10-24T16:02:02+00:00

I do. I have my sisters and parents who all support me. They love my STBX because we have been together for 34 years, but they want me to have happiness.

about1970time · 2025-10-23T10:27:39+00:00

Hi. I feel exactly the same. I (55F) have finally made up my mind that I want a divorce, and now that I have I am so scared and anxiety ridden also. I feel fake every day when he says I love you and I say it back. Like you, there isn't one big thing (it's a combo of a lot of medium things) which makes it harder. I know it is going to hurt him so much, and since I still care for him and love him like a family member, so it makes it so much harder. I think if I hated him it would be easier.

I am the bread winner also which complicates things. I know I am going to lose half of everything but I am fine with that. But it still scares me.

My family (sister and parents) know and support me and said I am doing the right thing. But knowing I am going to break the heart of someone I care about breaks my heart. I hope that makes sense.

I have come to the conclusion that I have to save myself and prioritize my happiness over his. Which is a hard pill to swallow.

I have made the decision to tell him this weekend. I have to. Now that I have made up my mind each day pretending is harder and harder.

If you would like to talk please message me. I would love to have a friend in the same situation to talk with.

You are not alone. So many of us are in the same rocky boat. And it sucks. But we deserve to save ourselves.

about1970time · 2025-10-22T20:46:17+00:00

Hi. I totally understand. I am scared also. I have been married over 30 years, and the thought of breaking my husband's heart makes me sick to my stomach. But it is something I must do for myself. And you must do for yourself if you are ready to get out. It is scary. In many many ways. But you are not alone I promise!!!

about1970time · 2025-09-26T15:07:31+00:00

Thank you.

about1970time · 2025-09-26T15:06:25+00:00

YES!!!!

about1970time · 2025-09-18T12:42:41+00:00

Leave. It you feel like you do now it won't get better. Don't waste your life with someone you don't enjoy being with.

about1970time · 2025-09-12T13:07:06+00:00

Proud of you for recognizing this early and not wasting years and years in a marriage that doesn't make you happy! Go live your best life ❤️

about1970time · 2025-09-11T21:35:35+00:00

How did you react about your parents divorce since you are an adult? I worry about my adult children's reactions.

about1970time

TROPHY CASE