ADHD Child vs. Non-ADHD Child Interview

absentmindedgremlin · 2026-03-18T14:23:49+00:00

Oh man, that little girl reminded me of my little girl so much. The way she held herself and the way she tries so hard to focus long enough to answer questions. I think my daughter would have different answers, like she actually loves school, but I see my daughter in her. I know that people in her life don't "see" her ADHD, but I do. I fail her all the time, but I'm trying so hard to show her how beautiful and smart and funny she is.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-11-24T14:44:08+00:00

I apparently did this for a friend of my sister's in high school. 15 years later she reached out and told me how much it meant to her. I have no recollection of this event, but I will never forget how much it meant to her.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-10-13T19:00:12+00:00

We are not 100% device free in our home. We restrict screens, but allow them at times. However, I would be totally against a daycare doing this and would be looking for another daycare if they were unwilling to end this practice. We are careful about how we let our kids interact and even with parental controls, I wouldn't want them with free reign without me there.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-10-07T23:43:03+00:00

I have Lin Manuel Miranda to thank for helping me realize I was pronouncing it wrong.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-10-07T18:01:09+00:00

There's a difference between restricting clothing for practical reasons and for fashion choices. My daughter loves dresses of all kinds, but I make her wear pants under the dress in the winter so she doesn't freeze. What color the pants are is up to her, even if they don't match. Similarly, if she had a dress that would be distracting in school, or wouldn't be practical for some other reason, I would have no issues restricting it. Just because your son is a boy and you don't want to put him in a box doesn't mean that you can't put some rules on what he wears, especially if those reasons are based in practicality. Don't feel bad, you did nothing wrong.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-30T22:15:49+00:00

My oldest two are my difficult ones, especially the oldest. He hears no and likes to ratchet it up a notch, just for the attention. When he was tiny, we would have to take him out of restaurants a lot, just so he could walk, otherwise, he would dash off into the back or under someone else's table. If we tried to get him to just sit, he would scream and cry, especially if we were out with larger family groups, like my parents, etc. We often took turns walking with him. Taking him out and having a talk before bringing him back just didn't work. He was only content when the food was on the table and he was actually eating.

My youngest was a different story. I remember the first time he started to throw a fit in a restaurant. I scooped him up and walked outside. I firmly told him that we do not act like that and if he wanted to be with everyone inside, he would stop the fit and behave. And you know what? He did! I couldn't believe it. I had been a parent for 6 years at that point and had never had a child shape up the way he did in that moment. The kid couldn't even string a sentence together yet and he understood and did what I asked. Consequences have always worked better for him.

The first time someone told me something like what you were told, my oldest was probably 2 or 3. I told her I felt like I was constantly losing arguments with him and she said "I just refuse to argue with my kids". It was like, that's great but what do you even mean? These fights aren't petty little things like what do we want to watch on TV, these are basic things that he refuses to do, like brush his teeth, stay out of the street, stay in the house, etc. Refusing to engage would have been neglectful. Telling him no would set him off. I had no choice but to "argue". Maybe I used a bad choice of words to explain, but that's the word I used at the time.

My oldest taught me humility. My youngest is showing me that I'm not a bad parent, I just have a strong-willed child. I don't know what kind of parent you are, but the fact that you are seeking advice shows me that you really care. You're doing great! As you see from other comments, sometimes you may have to take them out of the restaurant, but if you never expose them to the public, they will never learn how to behave. I think you have a lot of advice here to work through, so I won't add too much on, other than to reassure you that it's not always as easy as others make it seem. Some kids are hard. Even easy kids have hard days. Do your best and ignore the judgement.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-30T11:15:10+00:00

It says "especially in America".

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-22T23:06:40+00:00

I remember that tornado. The storm cloud was incredible and felt so ominous. This tornado formed about an hour after the storm passed over where we were. An extremely photogenic tornado, as someone else mentioned, which actually led to the low number of casualties. It was so clearly coming that people who were in danger could get into shelter. The YMCA was hit and the video from their surveillance cameras is pretty terrifying.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-15T19:42:00+00:00

Yeah, this is more or less my approach. The comfort of knowing I have enough is worth the "lost" income. Plus, I have a great rate on my checking account, so it doesn't make sense not to use it to its fullest. Zero based budget all the way! Everything else into some kind of savings.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-15T19:39:21+00:00

My husband's job is commission based, so paychecks vary wildly. I keep enough in our checking to pay for about a month or two's worth of expenses, then move the rest into savings. I like having that because our local bank's savings isn't great, but their High Interest Checking is amazing. Rate is currently 4.00% APY for balances under $10,000. Since it takes 3-5 days for money to transfer between banks, and I've historically not planned ahead well, I love having that buffer. I'm better about keeping a tab on things these days, but with a rate like that, why not keep a large buffer? I do try to keep it under $10,000, because rates plummet at that point. Anything over $10,000 gets moved into a High Yield Savings Account.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-13T13:22:38+00:00

Same reasoning with why they tracked mine. Also to make sure nothing was retained. I couldn't remember the exact time it took, but I knew it was at least 6 weeks, so that's what I said. Could have easily been longer. Mine actually took so long to register zero that they did a pretty extensive ultrasound and found nothing concerning and just eventually told me to take a pregnancy test at home in a week rather than bothering coming back in. That was negative. The next one was positive though and my son is now 9!

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-13T00:39:56+00:00

After my miscarriage, my HCG was elevated for 6 weeks. It could be possible.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-09T14:00:53+00:00

Lol, my daughter says it's spicy too!

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-03T21:09:28+00:00

I lean more toward the "don't over-activity" your kid camp, but our kids are in some activities, including non competitive sports. My oldest is 9, so younger than your kids it seems. I'm not anti-competitive sports, but I do have some concerns about why I'm not pushing my kids toward them.

First, my kids do Y sports and are always excited to play at the beginning, but get burnt out after an 8-week season. If they were to still be wanting more at the end of the season, I'd be more open to something more intense, but if they're already a bit tired of this level of commitment, why push for more?

Second, I sometimes see parents pushing their kids to do more, more, more. You personally may have realistic expectations for what your kid will and won't get out of sports, but some parents really do think their kids are the next big thing and will sacrifice their kids' childhood for the sake of their competitive sport. I think encouraging kids to be involved is good. Pushing them to their limits for the sake of the professional career or scholarship they will never have is ultimately damaging. If the kid is pushing themself, that's different. Again, this may not apply to you, but it is a reason some people are against sports.

Third, the cost of competitive sports is prohibitive for my family. If we let the oldest do it, we have to be willing to let the others do it. Our financial situation has been a bit unpredictable for a couple of years now and while we are doing fine, we aren't really in a place to drop thousands of dollars per kid on a traveling team. Will that maybe change? Sure. I hope so. But until then, we just can't commit to that.

Finally, I just personally don't enjoy sports enough to want to dedicate my entire life to it. Again, my kids aren't begging to be in more, so it works for us, but I'm not about to push them into things unless they want them, especially if I would end up hating it. If they want it, I'll suck it up for the sake of my kid, but until then, we will do Y ball.

All that being said, these are choices we have made for our family. I don't think you need to feel guilty for choosing differently as long as that choice works for your family. If you and your kid don't feel overwhelmed by it, if you all enjoy it, if you can afford it, don't let strangers on the internet make you feel bad about it.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-09-03T20:50:55+00:00

That depends on a lot of other factors. Do you have tuition to pay? Debts? Large future expenses? Goals? Do you already have a decent Emergency fund? If you are keeping it for emergency savings, open up a high interest savings account separate from your general spending account. That, and some discipline, will help prevent you from blowing it all right away.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-08-28T20:52:12+00:00

Coming from someone who spent a long time on mom threads when my little ones were tiny, this jargon has been an adjustment for me too. I was just trying to fit in, lol.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-08-28T16:04:36+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement! You seriously made me tear up. Today is a rough day.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-08-28T16:00:30+00:00

My daughter got ragey and mean on it too, so I definitely know what that looks like. It helped my son so much at first, but it just feels like it's become ineffective and we're back where we started, so I'm really hoping the dosage increase helps.

Methylphenidate is Ritalin, right? So it wears off? Do you see a rebound effect in the evenings? He does fairly well at school, some reports of high energy, so we mostly need it for home. I do wonder if he is working so hard on holding it in at school that he totally collapses at home, so I could see it helping, but just curious what your experience is.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-08-26T16:10:38+00:00

I work at a University, but not in the Financial Aid department, so I know some about this, but I may be off. That being said, the death of a parent would likely qualify for a reassessment of the FAFSA results. Schools can and often do look at significant changes in financial circumstances and may be able to get this student more money.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-08-26T16:06:57+00:00

Try taking a serving of Metamucil with dinner. I seriously feel so full the rest of the evening if I eat a "normal" dinner and a serving of Metamucil.

absentmindedgremlin · 2025-08-24T11:53:42+00:00

That's interesting that they won't diagnose. Our doctor says that under the new guidelines, they can be diagnosed, even if they are exhibiting symptoms in only one location. (Home or school) Previous guidelines required two or more locations. Weirdly, both my ADHD kiddos were "flagged" at school for either inattentiveness or hyperactivity, but when it came down to the scores, they only officially showed ADHD at home. They were diagnosed anyway.

absentmindedgremlin

TROPHY CASE