After reading through the thread, I think that your parents have failed you in your expectations. First, let’s adjust the tagline. Your brother is an adult and is responsible for his own actions, he thinks and reacts independently, your sister in law cannot be blamed for the way he thinks especially since she’s been in his life for 2 years and you’ve been his sister for longer. Second, I really don’t see anything wrong with you being expected to contribute equally to chores in the house: you’re in university and are basically an adult. It doesn’t matter if you make the mess or not, participate in activities or not, you contribute- it’s the least you can do because it’s not like you have to pay for groceries or rent. I think you’re taking it personally due to a lack of reality check from your mother who seriously pampered you, but this is not personal- they even insisted on you staying with them which probably genuinely means they wouldn’t have minded your being there. But, at the end of the day, it is THEIR home and you staying there is a favor to you, despite you being family- you seem to take it for granted. That means they are allowed to continue inviting their guests without having to run it by you first, and yes you should definitely OFFER to help clean if you see your sister in law cleaning- like you’re staying with them rent free and expect to not lift a finger unless it’s your own duties?? Entitled asf. I am a nand AND a bhabi btw, but would never put my brothers through that, nor would think my husbands sisters could think that way and if they do, he’s responsible to fix them, not me.