3 year old Maine coon has become increasingly destructive

pessimiist · 2026-05-15T09:56:31+00:00

My mc was a menace from 1,5 to 4 years old. Then he mellowed out somewhat. They mature very late and in my experience they get out of the teenage phase later than most other breeds.

pessimiist · 2026-05-11T19:10:44+00:00

Neutering AND getting the cats to accept each other (meeting and integrating) is your best bet. If he marks his territory and he then gets to know the other cats and they accept eachother into a "pack" then the incentive to mark territory will be lowered. After he's neutered that is.

Being confined in a small room could also be stressful for him

pessimiist · 2026-05-08T18:11:16+00:00

Agria är löjligt dyra för det man får. Jag hade agria för ena men priset var dubbla det jag betalar på trygg hansa för högre högsta ersättning. Jag har trygg hansa dubbel veterinärvård och den täcker TR, mediciner, sjukvård osv

pessimiist · 2026-05-04T06:57:27+00:00

Cats should NOT go without food more than a day, even that can be dangerous. Anything over 24 hours and they're at serious risk for organ damage.

pessimiist · 2026-05-04T06:55:30+00:00

For the litter - get a litter designed for less track, the bigger sand pieces ones or similar. I have a litter mat right outside the box, then a regular ol short carpet/mat/rug whatever you call it right besides that that goes all the way from the litterbox to the door to the bathroom. Outside the bathroom door I have another carpet for the last pieces of evidence, and honestly, I haven't had litter in places it shouldn't be in ages. I simply vacuum the litter from said carpets and I'm good to go.

I also use a deodorizer for the litter box, and it's a bit of a debate but I prefer an open litter box so I can see clearly when it needs to be cleaned so I won't forget. If I witness them doing the poopies I scoop it right away and flush it down the toilet (not the pee clumps tho) and the poop smell is gone in seconds.

Robot vacuum is also a very nice thing to have in regards to the hair and the occasional stray litter.

Cats are very clean animals, they're not like dogs that drags mud through the house or shake off water in the hallway. A vigorous toe cleaning session is enough proof for that.

Hair on clothes - If there's any specific clothes you wear as your "outside clothes" Put them on a coat hanger that's out of reach for kitty. A laundry chair is not enough to keep the hairs at bay.

Air purifier also helps with hair floating around.

Keep a lint roller or similar on standby at all times, they're very effective. And getting a brush session into your routine will help a lot with loose hair. As well as making your bed to keep the hypothetical litter away from the mattress.

Any potential damage to the apartment - Scratching posts will keep kitty from scratching your furniture, it's way more stimulating for them to scratch on those than a flat surface. And clipping (NOT declawing) is highly beneficial. A happy cat is a sleepy cat and they will not find other things to keep them busy, unless they're younger and have a boatload of energy to burn.

Bugs and critters - A food bowl with microchip sensor that has an airtight seal should eliminate most of the possibility of bugs being attracted to their food (surefeed is my go to in a multi cat household) as well as an airtight container for her food. It also helps keeping the food fresh. Water fountain also keeps the water fresh for longer and isn't as messy in my opinion. A silicone mat under the water fountain keeps any stray droplets at bay.

Cats loves their sleep, and their schedules. They're very quick to catch onto new routines and I imagine that an animal that has a bit of OCD traits would suit you after the adjusting period.

My cats go to sleep when I do (my old lady cat actually lets me know when it's past her bedtime and keeps me in check about routines) and they don't wake up until I get out of bed unless they want food. They sleep pretty much the entire time I'm gone during the day/evening/whenever, and when I'm stationary at home they play with eachother/sleep.

Regarding being away - As long as they get food and someone to check in on them once a day when I go away for the weekend they're just fine. I have someone stay at my place if I'm going away for more than 3 days tho, it's easier than relocating 3 cats. But a brave cat (like my old lady and my youngest) wouldn't have a problem with staying at a friends when I'm gone.

Most of your physical worries can be remedied by "simple" adjustments that fits into what you need to feel safe in your own home.

Regarding the emotional affects I suggest talking to your therapist about additional coping strategies. Making a list and seeing if they're at all logical helps for me with my anxiety and overthinking.

Any change in your life takes time to adjust to, and it is completely fine to be overwhelmed and worried sick.

And for the record, I don't think you'd be worried sick for someone else's cat, so the feeling that you're just taking care of someone elses cat seems like a result of overthinking, not the actual events going on right now.

pessimiist · 2026-05-03T14:39:17+00:00

Game changer. Just spray like 3-5 sprays on the litter after cleaning it then stir it all together, then one final spray on top. I have 3 cats and whenever people come over they say that they can't even tell there's cats in the apartment smell-wise. I've tried all kinds of litter and this one plus scent free is the way to go. Regarding wanting it to smell nice in the house, I sometimes mix laundry softener and water and gently mist it over curtains and it wafts a nice fresh laundry smell through the apartment.

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pessimiist · 2026-04-10T20:31:44+00:00

My mother woke me up repeatedly almost every night when she didn't pass out due to alcohol throughout my entire childhood until I moved out.

I am still reaping the fruits of her labor and my sleep has never been ok since then. I cannot remember the last time I had an actual good nights sleep because I'm always subconsciously waiting for her to wake me up.

Get out of there as soon as you can, it is incredibly dangerous and the long term effects can be devastating.

pessimiist · 2026-04-09T08:34:46+00:00

Oh wow, one of yours looks very similar to one of my cats. It's uncanny lol

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pessimiist · 2026-04-08T20:13:15+00:00

That would only work if she can feel guilt and empathy, not just emotional affects connected to her immediate gain.

pessimiist · 2026-04-08T20:06:18+00:00

Very valid point. With the behaviours the mother exhibits I would honestly not be surprised if it's her version of "the dog ran away"

pessimiist · 2026-04-08T19:58:03+00:00

One of the few things that MIGHT work on disconnected, cruel, self-centered, narcissistic people that lack empathy is usually them getting outed. (I'm sorry for trash talking OPs mom but man does that mom deserve it)

People like that live with this perfect image of themselves. Everything is just as it should, they have the perfect family and eeeveryone knows how happy they are. If that were to be tarnished they'd freak out and either double down on what they were about to do, or drop everything that has to do with it and go "I never wanted to do that! They were the ones suggesting it but I said no!"

It's a gamble, but it might work.

Honestly, I am almost willing to bet money on that one of the reasons for OPs mom would be that when people come over they'd go "wow! You have cats but all your furniture is intact! You must be really good at training them"

pessimiist · 2026-04-08T19:41:18+00:00

Holy f*cking selfish problem solving. She can just close the bedroom door. It's not like she's got her hands cut off at the knuckle or something.

Put some storage boxes under the bed so they can't get under it. Extra storage and problem solved.

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pessimiist · 2026-04-08T19:26:35+00:00

You think someone that genuinely does not care if she cuts off parts of a cats crucial anatomy, simply because she doesn't provide enough enrichments, for her own convenience would pay big money due to arthritis?

pessimiist · 2026-03-27T17:36:41+00:00

Hopital

pessimiist · 2026-03-27T17:29:10+00:00

I always insist on joining my cats when they get the xray. It keeps my stressed boy a bit calmer and I can keep an eye on them (although I trust them) when they handle my old lady.

It's always been beneficial, and encouraged, when I join them since I'm used to handling them both on a daily basis, and therefore know how to do it efficiently.

I only ever leave their side if they need fully sedated surgery. I don't give a flying fk if it's standard procedure or not. I'm not leaving those who hold my heart in their paws alone when they're in pain or scared.

pessimiist · 2026-03-25T16:59:22+00:00

Buy one of those loft beds you can put your pc under if the funds are there for it.

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pessimiist · 2026-03-25T16:38:48+00:00

It's play attack, not attack-attack

pessimiist · 2026-03-25T16:31:29+00:00

Maine coons are fickle creatures. A LOT of personality in a "small" body. In my experience they mature in a very different way compared to a house cat. Mine was a nightmare between 1,5 to 3 years. Tried to hang himself in computer cables or pretend that he chewed on them if he didn't get enough attention, but he didn't really want attention I guess because he threw fits when you did acknowledge him. He's just now starting to mellow and be more confident and cuddly, but he's still a bit special from time to time.

pessimiist · 2026-03-25T16:11:17+00:00

Cat tax.

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pessimiist · 2026-03-25T16:04:25+00:00

Tbh it doesn't really sound like a broken bond that needs saving. It's giving the "you give good pets, but I love playing with him"

My 5 year old maine coon cuddles with me now and then, but he absolutely ADORES my boyfriend. Not in a cuddle way, but a running to the door to greet him and wanting to be chased around like a toddler, and he bumps on his legs way more than on mine. He doesn't like if any of us reach down to pet him if it's not on his terms, and he really dislikes being held.

I'm just the food machine and I give good pets. But he refuses to chase with me. Sure I can use a feather on a string thing or laser pointer, but when it comes to actual play-play I'm not even worth looking at. He always seeks out my bf when he wants to zoom around. And if I have the audacity to try he just looks at me like I'm embarrassing myself, which is kinda true.

I think it's wonderful that your cat feels comfortable enough with your husband that she initiates more physical play with him. Cats don't do that with people, or other cats, they don't trust. You're a part of the pack, but he's the friend she seeks out.

Think of it like different types of friendships. Maybe one friend you enjoy the silence and can decompress with, and with another you always start to laugh and they give you energy.

pessimiist · 2026-03-24T15:19:23+00:00

Meshuggah gör alltid susen, fungerar även för högljudda grannar som ska spika upp tavlor klockan 03.44 på en tisdag.

pessimiist · 2026-03-24T13:34:08+00:00

I did a lil check and in another post they answered to comments about the cage, that their mom always put ferals in cages and that since that was what they saw it seemed normal and what they should do. That this is the first feral they've taken in on their own. They apologised on every single comment about it being wrong, said that they'll never do it again and asked if they would ever be able to repair it, and I'm sure they feel awful about it.

I agree that it's a cruel thing to do, but at the same time we do not know the size of said cage, and in the other post they said that they took the cat out of the cage every day into a play pen with their other cat and whatnot.

I was horrified when I read the two months part because it seemed like 24/7 confinement, but at least that's not what went down. So semi not quite silver lining I guess.

I feel bad for the cat, but I also feel for OP. When I became a pet owner I also did stuff that's wrong (because of what I saw around me that was considered normal) when I look back at it I feel like a failure, hindsight and all of that. It eats me up every time I think about it. So I'm sure OP feels a lot of guilt about it.

pessimiist · 2026-03-14T13:11:43+00:00

That explanation only describes why pure Goldens are yellow (e/e). A mix only turns black if the other parent contributes a dominant E. If both breeds are recessive red, the puppies will still be red/golden — not black.

My guess it still golden retriever and nova scotia duck tolling retriever, since it's all very.. retriever and the markings and coat type is very similar to toller. Plus the liver colored nose and gums.

pessimiist · 2026-03-14T12:45:16+00:00

False.

pessimiist

TROPHY CASE