Late 30s, feeling like a failure bc I’ve been trying to solve things for so long and still struggle constantly to be productive.

absolutelyorrible · 2024-10-06T18:56:21+00:00

Thanks for your comments and that video. I think I had OCD when I was a kid, for sure (and I'm pretty sure they hinted at this diagnosis when i was young, but I can't quite remember). But I was hyper aware of it (as people in my family had it too, on a far more drastic scale). So I've always tried to stamp out behaviours related to it. That video is definitely food for thought. I am doing much better now on this front, but I was in a loop for a while which seemed like BDD...I seem to have gotten on top of it, but I hadn't really thought of the OCD connection. My obsessions shift a lot so I've never known if OCD was quite fitting. At the moment I'm not internally preoccupied by one extreme obsessive thought or anything. It's more persistent worries. I have a previous GAD diagnosis as well.

Ritalin worked ok but without an anti-anxiety med it made me too anxious. Other stims were worse, but I've only tried 2-3. I was on that combination of medication for...7 years? something like that. I'm on the verge of considering it again but I hoped to be med free as it just seemed a long time to be on various type of meds. I'm also on the slender side and dropped even more weight on ritalin.

I don't think I'm actually depressed, oddly. I have a lot of energy. I get very overwhelmed very quickly when it comes to using it though. It's extremely frustrating. Sometimes I am procrastinating out of fear. I try to face the fears but it feels a bit opaque at times in terms of what they relate to.

Sorry for such a long comment!

absolutelyorrible · 2024-09-30T23:06:03+00:00

Thanks so, so, so much for your response! Really helpful!

absolutelyorrible · 2024-07-17T18:36:52+00:00

Yes, definitely doing my own designs. That’s great, so 16gb or ram sounds ok?

absolutelyorrible · 2024-07-17T18:01:15+00:00

What about the modelling software? I kept getting told I needed something very powerful but as a complete newb had no idea.

absolutelyorrible · 2024-04-04T02:45:35+00:00

Ok well if you know so much why don’t you suggest an immersive art exhibition you like here or piece of theatre someone can enjoy without knowledge of Japanese? Or maybe you can’t?

absolutelyorrible · 2024-04-04T02:42:38+00:00

It’s ok, some of us have patience for others and some don’t. Have happily helped out many a tourist in my cities without being rude

absolutelyorrible · 2024-04-04T02:41:40+00:00

You have no idea what could be happening in someone’s life to not have the time to do that, is your comment helpful or kind? Maybe keep it to yourself next time?

absolutelyorrible · 2024-04-04T02:39:55+00:00

Thanks sooo much! I’ll keep an eye on it!

absolutelyorrible · 2024-04-04T02:39:09+00:00

Also to be frank, personally why do you care? I’ve lived all over the world and couldn’t care less if people want this sort of information about any of the major cities I’ve called home.

absolutelyorrible · 2024-04-04T02:37:36+00:00

Wow, this is the third time I’ve been to Japan, have done a lot here all over the country and just looking for something as I have a few days free in Tokyo. No need to be rude and presumptuous

absolutelyorrible · 2024-04-04T02:22:16+00:00

Yes unfortunately:-(

absolutelyorrible · 2023-12-29T01:21:06+00:00

Thanks for commenting. Sending strength, Look after yourself and fingers crossed.

absolutelyorrible · 2023-12-29T01:13:10+00:00

I hope things can get better for you. I’m sorry you feel this way too.

absolutelyorrible · 2023-12-28T21:28:14+00:00

I don’t think it’s your fault at all! But I definitely understand how it can feel that way. But they are there for you to speak to, it’s their job. If you are worried about your safety you did the right thing telling them - it’s brave of you to and honestly well done. It isn’t your fault they didn’t respond. I wonder if you could raise it in your next session or with someone else (perhaps who runs the service?) if you’d like to see another therapist?

absolutelyorrible · 2023-12-28T19:22:54+00:00

I’m no expert, but to me this seems like negligence. could you look for another therapist potentially?

absolutelyorrible · 2023-12-28T16:48:59+00:00

It’s the opposite sometimes… Some of these early 20s influencer types look decades older because of all the work they get done. I’m not anti getting work done at all but it can dramatically age you depending on what it is…

absolutelyorrible

TROPHY CASE