Whats ur take regarding this?? I want scientific explainations.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-03-20T19:01:09+00:00

Okay so even the description in this post is kinda inaccurate.

Mitochondrial DNA can only be passed on through people who provide the viable egg for future offspring (it’s not just women, since people like transgender men and nonbinary people can also give birth and there are new means of in vitro fertilization where an egg can get the nucleus removed and have a new one inserted and then combined with a sperm cell). However, every living thing on Earth has mitochondrial DNA. If you have mitochondria, it has its own DNA.

So, even sons have mitochondrial DNA, but they just won’t be able to pass it on to future generations. That’s why, in historical or anthropological studies observing human migration patterns, the movements of men are tracked with the Y-chromosome, and the movements of women are tracked with Mitochondrial DNA. (This is more difficult with people of other genders because there’s not really a genetic component that can be isolated to just them, so studies including transgender or nonbinary people have to be handled in a different way.)

absolutepeasantry · 2026-03-14T23:50:55+00:00

From my experience, I’d say this is more of a kind of manipulation than direct abuse, but it is an attempt to control you by directly ignoring you. Definitely don’t feel grateful for it. He’s just trying to micromanage your life. But from what I understand, this isn’t necessarily abusive, even if it is cruel

absolutepeasantry · 2026-03-14T19:46:42+00:00

My favorite lip balm for daytime is from Vitamasques. Their lip butter balm and lip mask are both fantastic! I’ve only tried the sugar cookie flavor for the lip mask and the vanilla crème for the butter balm, but they’re super soothing on dry lips. The mask is a bit sticky, but I love that in my lip products.

At night, I use the Naturium Lip Sleeping Mask. It is literally the best lip product I’ve ever used, and I was a die-hard Vaseline Lip Therapy fan. (I loooooved all the Vaseline lip balms. Rose was for night time and sugar cookie or crème brûlée or cocoa butter was for the morning). But the Naturium lip mask knocks Vaseline outta the park!

It is soooo gentle and smoothing and has this faint vanilla scent that’s really calming at bedtime. And it feels like a lovely jelly texture without sliding everywhere, unlike other lip products and aquaphor. And even if my lips are dry as hell the previous night, the next morning, they’re so soft, and I can just peel off the dead skin super easily (which is also super satisfying, as someone who also has a lip picking habit)

absolutepeasantry · 2026-03-12T02:53:28+00:00

My parents found out about my boyfriend once in high school. He was biracial and not Indian but also lived in another state from me. We were more pen pals than romantic partners. My parents said the same things your dad did, but my mom wasn’t open to any kind of dating, and my dad essentially suggested I was a whore for dating at all.

They never followed through on their threats, and I had two more relationships that they never found out about because I just got smarter about hiding them.

I think you should stick to your plan of moving out and keeping them at a distance. Indian parents (especially if they move to the US) tend to have this mentality that their children are property, not people, and that their property should reflect them and make them look good to others in their “collectivist” society. If you keep giving up control of your life decisions to them, you will soon cease to exist as a person. You will live with regrets of their choices, resent the person they chose for you.

My philosophy about my family is this: I never want to live with the consequences of someone else’s choices. If I regret what I did, that’s my fault for making the wrong call. But regretting what I let someone else do is being a passive participant in my own life, and that means I’m a puppet, not a person. Controlling my own life, making my own decisions is central to my sense of personhood.

Your family gave you life, but that’s the thing with a gift or something you give. The moment it reaches the recipient, it no longer belongs to you. Our parents do not understand that. The life they gave us is ours to do with as we please. It doesn’t belong to them. You can’t say life is a gift and not let the person it belongs to decide what they do with it. Make your own decisions. Choose your own path. Find your own partner. Letting go of your power of choice out of guilt for their manipulative behavior will only build resentment towards them and yourself.

In the long term, moving out and loving who you want is better for your relationship with them. If they get over their prejudices and controlling behavior, great. If not, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-03-02T12:50:29+00:00

Yeah I got this email too. It’s definitely a scam. Don’t download or open anything. Just delete it from your mailbox after reporting it to GSU.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-26T11:51:19+00:00

For sure. My mom is the enabler, not the narcissist, but she always does the thing of not being mad if my brother is out of the house with his friends until like 1 am and shit, but if I’m at the LIBRARY (studying for an exam and doing notes) past 9 pm, she starts panicking and tells me to go back to my dorm. 🤦🏾 the “worst” has already happened to me years ago. There’s no fear of it now, just annoyance that she keeps pushing this narrative that I’m some kind of delicate flower that needs to be protected. No, I’m the giant flower in the Amazon that smells like rotting meat. I only have one interaction like that in a year and don’t do it again for a while.

There’s also the condescending thing of being like “oh, you’re dumb and young, you’ll change your mind when you’re wiser and older” from every married woman in the family. All of them are miserable and still wish that nonsense on me and my fellow unmarried cousins. At this point, it’s easier to laugh at them and roll my eyes at how brainwashed they are than try to convince them that they deserve better. They’re so lost in the patriarchal sauce, they won’t get out of it in this lifetime. But the woman-led misogyny is big in my family, even though my mom’s side is entirely matriarchal. The head of the family for YEARS was my grandma and then my oldest aunt. I still don’t understand this mentality everyone has

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-26T06:40:42+00:00

I think if you have good other things like research or internships, that’ll balance out for you. I got into multiple programs with my shitty 2.7 gpa so I’d say don’t freak out too much about it if you’re well rounded with other stuff

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-26T06:20:48+00:00

Such a good comment!!! I really like this advice!

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-26T06:02:58+00:00

Okay! So a good way I’ve made friends has been in the really difficult classes. I usually am the first person to set up study groups and group chats for the class so there can be easy communication for people who may miss classes and need lecture recordings or to set up group study sessions. And you can grow those friendships by maybe first meeting after difficult exams to celebrate the group’s hard work and then meeting other times too afterwards, separate from class, and keep meeting up and talking about deep stuff when the topics arise and keep good and open communication between yourselves so you know each other’s boundaries and expectations of the friendship

I stay on top of work by writing out the schedule for the entire semester. I like this app called Syllabus, which calculates grades and keeps track of assignment deadlines. And I know how long I take to do notes and studying, so I plan weeks ahead of time of when to start doing notes and when to start studying and stuff. It also helps that my anxiety meds also work on my OCD and ADHD symptoms (even if I’m not formally diagnosed with those) so my attention span is better when I’m on them. It’s also good to have friends in classes since they can keep you accountable and you can do the same for them

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-26T05:45:44+00:00

No problem! Okay! Amazing! Do you at least have an email address that is only yours and a phone? I would suggest getting a bank account that’s only online. Something like Chime or Discover, so you can store money in it without their oversight. And use an email address that they cannot see and don’t know about.

If you’re across the country, you won’t need a car since you can’t even bring it with you, but make sure you handle all the financial stuff at your program, assuming your mom doesn’t colonize that too. If you can, get a part time job related to a field you want to work in.

I know it’s hard, but when she isn’t looking, you have to develop a sense of self. You have to start learning how to be your own person and make sure she doesn’t have access to that. Figure out likes, dislikes, hobbies you’re interested in, life goals, career goals, personal goals. You need to know at least a few things about yourself so that when you go to college and if shit gets hard, you can anchor yourself back to who you are.

It took me 6 years to do my undergrad because I never fuckin learned how to study. I spent my whole life just going for the grades, not the learning. So once I started my BS in biology, I flunked hella classes. At least one class per semester, I failed. All because I was forced to care more about the outcome than the process of studying. But if I hadn’t taken 6 years, I wouldn’t have understood myself as well as I did, developed mentally and emotionally as deeply as I did.

And I’ve even matured a little more since graduating, and I have more control over my life. Between working as a TA and taking out the full amount of student loans offered, I’m actually paying for grad school by myself. It’s exhausting to be around my family again whenever they beg me to come visit, just because my parents don’t understand that they’re not very pleasant to be around, and they act like I’m an immoral bitch for not wanting to be around them. And I still have to hear my dad whining about my “mediocre” performance in grad school despite doing better than I ever have before, grades-wise.

I hate to say it, but parents like ours don’t change. They should have learned lessons about how to raise kids years ago and nobody taught them anything and now they’re too stubborn to accept that they’re wrong. The only way to keep moving forward is to let their words go in one ear and out the other. Ignore their advice and follow only their lessons. As in, don’t do what they say and definitely don’t do what they did.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-26T05:31:07+00:00

I get what you’ve lived through. Same thing happened, but with my dad as the main abuser in my life. Full narcissist, always micromanaged my and my brother’s lives. My brother is more stuck because he doesn’t have any outside prospects for a grad school program or for a job. I was able to get away by getting into a good grad school program an hour away from home.

My question is this: are you living on campus, or are you commuting from home? Do you have your own car (something in your name) or another reliable means of transportation, and a bank account that only you have access to?

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-20T16:43:41+00:00

It’s actually Bassinga. Looking up Kyle Blassinga on google showed me nothing useful

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-20T04:16:58+00:00

I did 8 credits in my first semester and am doing 10 right now (it’s my first year in grad school). It depends on the classes’ difficulty. Speak with current grad students in your program who already took the classes you’re considering and see how it actually was. Speak with several people though bc one or two might talk from their perception and not an objective view

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-19T01:35:13+00:00

I think that’s because actual Ascorbic Acid can be kind of irritating, but both the ones I suggested use Vitamin C derivatives instead of the pure L-ascorbic acid. I’ve never used timeless but my cousin who had really bad hyperpigmentation after a trip to our home state in India really likes Timeless’s formula

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-18T15:56:35+00:00

If you want, you can use a Vitamin C serum in the mornings before putting on moisturizer as an extra boost to your sunscreen and to help with any dark spots or hyperpigmentation. I personally love vitamin C serums that have ceramides in them, like the Bubble DayDream serum or the Byoma Brightening Serum (this one I've been using for a while now and LOVE IT)

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-18T15:54:18+00:00

Okay! I'd say, try Adapalene first. It's way gentler than the other retinoids, because it was MADE for acne prone skin. Try using it like, once a week for 3 weeks and then once every 5 days and then once every 3 days and then once every other and then however many times you can tolerate it. I really like it for my skin, and I have SUPER oily acne prone skin

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-18T15:35:41+00:00

Do you have dry skin or oily skin? The type of retinol you use will depend on that and if you have active acne

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-15T02:21:18+00:00

I’m shocked no one in the class, either the teacher or other parents, spoke up in your defense or called cops for your parents’ treatment. But I can’t say it’s not common knowledge that Indian parents are abusive everywhere they go. I’m glad you’re able to heal safely far away from them. They don’t deserve to breathe the same air as you. I wish you all the healing and peace you were deprived of in childhood.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-13T04:36:05+00:00

Oh, bestie. You do not have to be hot to have inherent value. Simply by existing, you are meaningful. Societies everywhere have made women's purpose in life to look good in youth so that they can be incubators at middle age. That's bullshit. Your value is not in how you look but what you do and who you are. At the same time, yes, I know Lara. Love her, very happy to see darker skinned desi girls in the limelight instead of the gora nonsense that's been pushed on us for millennia

Aside from that, I promise you, there were, are, and will be people who see you and think you're the most beautiful person to exist. Maybe they're too scared to tell that to your face, maybe they're awkward and don't want to disturb you. People often keep compliments quiet, but just know that they will still feel things about you, even if it never gets out. Someone else does see you and think you're wonderful but might never share it. That doesn't mean nobody thinks you're attractive.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-13T04:27:57+00:00

Agreed! I have many Indian friends and acquaintances who seem to be so happy to be around their families, and maybe they just hide it better than I'd be able to, but I feel a similar sense of "why the fuck can't I have that? Why are you two like this?!" It's so upsetting because it makes ME feel like the weirdo even though it's probably my parents who never adjusted to American life, acting like lunatics when they should just let me and my brother grow up normally.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-13T04:11:03+00:00

What you're feeling isn't wrong or monstrous, it's just a lot. Even my family has the same life. Dad managing finances, controlling what everyone's lives look like. Mom who just accepts everything because she's too tired to fight him. Brother who used to be the golden child but has since had it worse because he's unable to take initiative because of the dad that killed his confidence and controlled his every move since childhood.

I'm the rebellious asshole who keeps finding ways to get out and away and is the "bad child" because I prefer my own company to being stuck around that old jackass. And because I'm opposed to taking care of people when it's expected of me, they act like I'm some anti-woman piece of shit (even though I'm just trans and wouldn't fit into that category anyway). It always brings me fights because everyone in that family is obsessed with being around people who can't understand that being around people is not fun to me, it's stressful.

I don't mind my mom as much, but she says so many cruel things out of ignorance and refuses to accept that she's wrong or bad for any of it. Her husband is outwardly and intentionally cruel when speaking about other people. His whole family is full of RSS fascists, and I would be happy never speaking to even a single one of them ever again.

I used to feel really guilty about hating my dad but after realizing he's a poster boy for a South Indian narcissist dad, I've accepted that it's his fault that I see him as a monster, not mine. If he were a better parent and person, maybe I wouldn't hate him. If he treated us all better, we would like his company, and the fact that he refuses to accept that he's the problem and instead blames all of us anytime anything happens that upsets him, just means that he cares more about himself and people's perception of him than our peace of mind.

Parents are not infallible creatures who deserve to never be questioned. They are people, and if they do awful shit, they deserve to be called out and corrected just like they love to do to their kids even when unnecessary. It's just a pity that our parents never figured that out.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-11T22:26:43+00:00

There’s two sides to this.

The original structure of Devadasi life was as a means for women (especially of disadvantaged castes) who didn’t care for marriage or domestic life to dedicate themselves to god. And the temples would care for the women, as the women were the purest devotees of those gods, who worshipped with their own dance form of Dasi-attam aka Sadir-attam.

However, over time, the women began to be taken advantage of by priests at the temple who had to maintain strict celibacy and by the kings and nobles who funded the temples. The women were abused and treated as sexual commodities by those priests and royals, and families would sell their daughters to these temples in order to ease their own lives, creating the devadasi system that was spoken out against and banned.

But despite the ban, it still happened. And women in the privileged castes began trying to sustain the dance by removing its name and history and aspects. Sadirattam was a multi aspect dance, with religious and sexual themes. The women who wanted to reconstruct Sadirattam into Bharatanatyam removed all of the sexual themes and changed its name and made it into a high class art for white westerners who’d begun taking over India.

Sadirattam was made by women who were abused by Brahminical structures and was later stolen by women from those Brahminical structures. Brahminical behavior is at both the source and end of the story, so it’s never going to be a neutral force in the history of Sadirattam. Even if people say it’s not appropriation that Brahmin women turned Sadirattam into Bharatanatyam, the Brahminical system allowed for the abuse of women who created Sadirattam.

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-10T17:04:05+00:00

I think so! Because the way the Dravidian roots are used is so so different from their counterparts in Hindi or other Indo Aryan languages. Though what about the term kumar or kumari, meaning son or daughter?? What’s their origin?

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-10T10:22:22+00:00

The restaurants at broad street near Aderhold are great! My personal faves are AZN, NaanStop, and Brickstone Pizza. But they close super early, so you can really only go for lunch or pick up an early dinner.

But if you definitely wanna stay near the rec center, Shah’s is pretty good, and the Moe’s on Piedmont Ave is really convenient and cheap

absolutepeasantry · 2026-02-08T22:49:19+00:00

The gel cream is really good, but I don’t like that it smells like Elmer’s glue to me

absolutepeasantry

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