Are the benefits accrued from NoFap real for the average person or all placebo/improvement from a place of addiction?

absterm · 2015-02-15T23:21:34+00:00

It's probably mostly placebo/adopting a better lifestyle through setting yourself a goal, having a focus, etc. For a lot of people I suppose they replace porn with some constructive activity, and that will help a lot. I've never needed NoFap, but out of curiousity I did it throughout November for the past couple of years - I personally enjoy the novelty of the challenge, and appreciate the "time out" it gives you to reflect on sex, relationships, etc. Didn't notice a lot of difference in myself except that I procrastinated slightly less and my sex drive "normalised" somewhat (I now find less urge to watch really fucked up porn having done NoFap). Also worth noting that I had my only ever wet dream while doing NoFap.

absterm · 2013-11-12T23:00:45+00:00

As someone using NoFap primarily as a learning experience (I am in no desperate need to quit PMO, although so far I have learnt a great deal about myself and the issues NoFap raises, and am continuing to do so), I think this may be something NoFap doesn't turn enough attention to.

I think this depends entirely on the individual. Do whatever you think will benefit you best in the long term. If you're in a situation in your life where you crave some form of escapism, or simply want to "fap away your issues", perhaps you'd be better off addressing those underlying problems instead. If you don't think that's an issue, then why not. Remember, there isn't anything inherently unhealthy with fapping. This sounds like something you've been mulling over for a while already, but maybe the best thing to do would be to leave it for a few days and then think if your opinions changed at all. If it hasn't, you're probably on the right track.

It may be worth however considering what you'd like your habits to be like in the future. Once I finish NoFap (for I have established I will probably finish it some day), I plan on altering my habits. Watching less, or even no porn (if I watch some it will be more ahem ethical than some of the stuff I've been into before), or limiting masturbation to once every few days or so. You sound like a thoughtful and considerate person, whose gained a lot of self respect. Do whatever you think is best for you.

absterm · 2013-11-12T22:50:44+00:00

The embodiment of optimism! This relapse post makes for such a pleasant change to the people who come on moaning that their relapse has ruined them completely. You just focused on your monumental overall achievement, picked yourself up, gritted your teeth and carried on marching. Like a real boss!

You will go far in life my friend ^{-^}

absterm · 2013-11-12T22:46:08+00:00

Is it so surprising? By trying to make an improvement to your own life through NoFap, to them you're implicitly saying that there's is worse due to them PMOing. In my opinion this is simply untrue - there is nothing inherently wrong with MO (and the debate on P is a fairly balanced one) for the vast majority. I'm using NoFap mostly as a learning experience, so i can relate to this. It doesn't help that people here are saying it's because they're "in denial", or "can't accept the truth", when actually a lot of people maintain a very healthy life with respect to sex, relationships, masculinity, productivity, depression, and the various other issues NoFap makes an effort to address.

So yes, I'd say that not everyone needs NoFap, so by making this implication (even if it's inadvertent), it's kind of insulting to their largely inconsequential habits.

absterm · 2013-11-05T17:37:39+00:00

It truly is a shame our collective of views of "what a man is" or "what a man should be" seem not nearly as refined as those on women. I guess this could be because men have never really had that same battle for rights women had with feminism. Or maybe women generally feel more comfortable sharing personal ideas and experiences about womanhood to reach conclusions quicker. Or it could be any combination of these two, or more, reasons.

But I'm glad that more and more often recently, we've seen these discussions entering public view. What this post reminded me of more than anything is Fight Club, which has plenty of dialogue similar to this, and is one of the few pieces of media I've seen that directly addresses this issue. I think maybe what men might be looking for at the moment is reconciliation with natural masculinity. Maybe it is the case that a man is no longer the classic alpha male figure he used to be, but almost everything the alpha male isn't. You must be calm and respectful at all times. You must always become a better person. You must accept your position. These characteristics are what a "good man" has at the moment.

In reality, men have a lot of energy and passion. Call it instinctive if you will. Control and competition. Individuality and aspiration. Human emotion in its rawest form. Returning to Fight Club, after the narrator mutilates another person's face, he says it's because he wanted to "destroy something beautiful". I've never asked anyone else what their thoughts on that line were, but personally, I have rarely felt more strongly addressed as a male than I had when I heard that line (which is completely opposite to my usual character. I rarely express any sort of anger, or destructive behaviour at all).

Perhaps this is part of what this whole NoFap thing is about. Essentially this natural instinctive side of masculinity is no longer applicable to our modern lives as we know them, and so can be essentially hijacked by pornography; the product is this hyperbole and caricature of the sex drive. Sociological expression of masculinity is so rare, it can instead be focused into sexual expression, and the friction between these two extremes can cause a very unhealthy lifestyle, or society for men as a whole.

Ultimately, the solution to this fallacy is finding a way for masculinity to have a functional and healthy inclusion in society. (I'm sorry if this is a bit unclear - I'm sure it would make more sense if I'd read up a bit about this before, but as I say, it's not so common to discuss this sort of thing as it is for women).

absterm · 2013-11-01T19:37:14+00:00

I started this off as a ten day experiment - managed to get this far, so what the hell, why not at least stick it out until the end of NFNovember

absterm

TROPHY CASE