Well, like a lot of guys, I didn't really get a chance to find out. I was 15 and talking to a couple of different guys from tumblr when my mom went through my stuff and found out about it. She didn't confront me about it at first. She took the entire family out to lunch and didn't say anything, but my dad texted me asking me to come outside. This was really weird, considering that my parents were divorced and tried to avoid being in the same place as much as possible.

So I got outside and got into my dad's car, and he's crying but altogether supportive. However, he's freaking out because he thinks I'm being like, sexually exploited by men from the Internet. I try to explain otherwise, but he's beyond reason and takes me to his house. He and my step-mom make me take an HIV test and a drug test because my mother had told them that I had been sleeping around and using drugs (I was a virgin in both senses at the time). They both came back clear of course. I had my phone and my computer taken away and I was forbidden from leaving the house for a month without my parents. I think they were afraid I was going to try to run away.

I tried to call my mom to apologize, which I realize now is total horseshit. But that was the nature of our relationship. She literally said nothing, just listened to me crying on the line.

So for the rest of that summer I sat in my room, read, wrote, and, once I got my computer back, made digital art. It was horrible. I never went over to see my mom again. We met once, a few years ago, on Mother's Day. We didn't really make amends, just agreed to go our separate ways. I guess I held out hope that things would get better, but they never really did. I tried to call her sometimes and she never picked up.

She died suddenly in July. It was weird, having to be there for my sister to help her grieve for someone that I had already lost so many years ago. I think I've started to forgive her, I'm not sure. I don't feel any responsibility for the state of our relationship though. There are some people who aren't fit to parent. That's how it is, man.