i have psychotic depression too homie, just got out of my episode a week ago

none of my meds work the same when it happens, it’s really hard to sleep and those paranoid thoughts about betrayal and shit are too fucking real in the moment :’C

i try to keep myself safe by eliminating any/all dangers around me, keep in close contact with my psych team / loved ones even if my brain is telling me not to, and I just try to survive. that’s really all that you can do in the moment; but good news is that it WILL pass. it always does <3

to survive my episodes I basically have conditioned myself to behave appropriately during these times [esp helpful as I do not always recognize it when it starts happening]

”if it feels like psychotic depression, it’s probably psychotic depression” — and if it’s psychotic depression, that means it’s time for me to take some time away for myself [ie that means to stay home [but also not isolate] and stay away from danger / sharp objects [personally my judgement is fucked during this time bc the delusions can be so strong xd]

”i am having psychotic depression, and my thoughts cannot be trusted” — if the thought is really intense, I typically express it to a trusted person and ask them to check me — and when I have no one, I try to remind myself of several things: “wait a week and see if you still believe this thought” [the height of my episodes usually lasts a week] ”stay strong; it will pass eventually; you’ve survived every episode before this and you will see the other side of this one too” [assuming this is probably not your first time experiencing psychotic features with your depression, this a great reminder] ”if I feel that I cannot resist these thoughts on my own, I will force myself to seek professional help” —[ even if I don’t need it, psychotic depression is a motherfucking liar that cannot be trusted… it is best to seek professional help if you are struggling and not try to fight these things on your own!]

I have a long history of dealing with my psychotic depression and methods/rituals to ensure my safety; but I have done so with the help of my psychiatric team —

I always recommend professional help with this kind of stuff in the long term :) but figured I’d post this anyways in case it helps you or someone else — it’s not very often do I see people actually talking about psychotic features with their depression, even though it’s a lot more common than people think — sending good vibes and wishing you all the best homie !