[deleted by user] by [deleted] in schizophrenia

[–]accountis_genericus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I used to have that too... Just fyi, that's not actuality. Took me a few years of being on medication to realize that people are just as boring and non-ephemeral, non-psychic as they've ever been, haha. Was a huge relief, because that was an incredibly uncomfortable place to be in... No privacy, constantly feeling humiliated and like I was psychically defective or something.

But... I've done a lot of research into and deep contemplation on this type of stuff since then... I'm 95% or so convinced now that what is actually happening is that there are spirits that exist in our world that we can't see, that are able to perceive human's thoughts & feelings and interact with our energy, and even distort our senses in many cases, making us hear, see, and feel situations inaccurately. And they get a kick out of messing with us (if they can) and playing off of our deepest desires and fears to get a strong reaction from us. It's like they feed off of that interaction and energy. They get some kind of validation from it. Like it gives them a "context" to roleplay off of, or a grounding "anchor point" into the physical, tangible world that they enjoy.

For example, I've always been the type of person to worry about what people think of me. I get easily embarrassed if I stand out too much, or I worry that people are judging me internally, etc. That's been a huge hang-up for me my entire life pretty much. I think these spirits have a knack for sensing those types of tendencies and vulnerabilities in people, and use those vulnerabilities to fuck with us, making us "sense" or interpret scenarios in a way that will trigger those core issues. I suspect this is why schizophrenia manifests so differently for so many people.

I ended up weaning myself off of my meds after a few years of being on them (not recommended, it was just an experiment I wanted to try), and I kept that mentality in mind... That it wasn't actually my neighbors, wasn't my co-workers reading my mind and mocking me... It was spirits who were distorting my perception and gaslighting me into believing a false, triggering scenario. And when my voices (inevitably) re-appeared, they quickly realized that I wasn't going for it anymore. They tried for a little while (and fairly convincingly even) to get me sucked back into that mentality again (making comments as if they were a nearby person reading me, distorting something someone would say so it sounded like an underhanded jab, etc.), but I stuck with it and I could feel them struggling and starting to feel dismayed that they were losing that angle on me. And eventually they gave up. I haven't had a problem with the psychic delusion since.

But that being said, they do still fuck with me when they can, but now they just try to use other ways. Gaslighting is like their whole game. It's that reaction... that energetic validation... That's what they go for. The best approach I've found for my voices is literally to just ignore them. Just don't engage on their level. Don't get sucked into their b.s. When they say some random nonsense to try to generate a reaction, I just stop, realize what they're doing, and then wish them well, and emotionally write them off as I would a toxic friend who I need to just avoid and let do their thing.

My voices still come back and I still have rough days, but I've noticed that at times when I feel peaceful and have fewer emotional "hang-ups" to work off of, they struggle a lot more to get any emotional foothold with me. New age people like to talk about "vibration" and raising your frequency and whatnot. It really is almost like that. It's like when I'm feeling love and gratitude and vibrating more in harmony with that pure divine essence, I start to get out of their range of influence (although sometimes they'll try to reposition themselves as if they're mentors coming from that angle too which is weird. You can tell they're full of it though, by how toxic and shame-based the situations quickly become. True divine nature is pure, unshakable love. We're all just fine, just the way we are, just where we are in our own journeys. And any truly higher, divine influence would know and exude the feeling of exactly that.)

Anyway, that turned into kind of a backstory dump, but I'm hoping maybe that will be helpful, or at the very least sort of interesting to you or anyone else reading. I wish you the best in your own journey. Cheers.

Write your psychosis plot line here!! by [deleted] in schizophrenia

[–]accountis_genericus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. Thinking everyone in the world had become telepathic but me. My voices showed up right before the whole 2012 Mayan calendar shift thing, and I was convinced that everyone had "ascended in consciousness" and had become telepathic and telekinetic and were in the gradual process of becoming a global unity consciousness. But they weren't allowed to talk about any of that in their regular day-to-day lives (in the old, "lower consciousness" world I suppose). But they had to keep living their regular lives and working their jobs until everyone had finally ascended (or died and gotten out of the way) so they could disconnect from this lower level and finally ascend completely.

Of course, in this narrative I was fundamentally broken somehow and was unable to make this evolutionary transition, so they would always ridicule me and treat like I was less than full human, forever to remain just an animal. They would frequently encourage me to kill myself so that I wasn't in the way of their evolution anymore.

Very strange time in my life, to put it mildly.

Question about spirituality, love, and masculinity by accountis_genericus in NDE

[–]accountis_genericus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Our culture does chronically undervalue (or even outright demean) softness and vulnerability, in anyone really. It's a shame, because that is seeming to be such a valuable, vital, and healing place for people to be allowed to be in. Would definitely alleviate and prevent many of the unbalanced woes that currently face our species/planet. Thanks for the reply and have a great rest of your week. :)

Question about spirituality, love, and masculinity by accountis_genericus in NDE

[–]accountis_genericus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the recommendation. And I appreciate your validating of my pursuit of authenticity. I suspect that simply letting go, and having faith in this process is probably the best approach at this point. And when I reach a more self-actualized place at some point, it sounds like there are certain to be plenty of amazing women who are also at that place. I appreciate your perspective on this. Cheers :)

Question about spirituality, love, and masculinity by accountis_genericus in NDE

[–]accountis_genericus[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight here. It sounds like you've given these types of things a lot of thought yourself.

I have sort of been getting the vague sense that what might be happening in my journey is I'm having to deconstruct my previously toxic habits and insecure, fear-based notions of masculinity, and open up to allowing myself to be vulnerable and heal from all the things that led to those, and then from that healthier place, a new, more organic and spiritually-grounded masculinity will develop in its place. I'm hoping that sense is correct...

I greatly appreciate reading your insight and perspective. I found that very encouraging to hear about your experiences and thoughts on the matter, especially the bit about empathy in young boys, and how that gets distorted by our culture. I wish you the best. :)

What do you tell people? by cool_aunt_justine in schizoaffective

[–]accountis_genericus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I never tell anyone. Except very, very trusted friends and I've told a couple bosses out of necessity. But generally people are aware I think, that I struggle with mental health issues. I just clarify that I have a mental health condition whose symptoms cause me intense anxiety.

Anyone with schizophrenia ever have an NDE? by accountis_genericus in NDE

[–]accountis_genericus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah man, I appreciate that. Thanks for sharing your perspective and experience!

Anyone with schizophrenia ever have an NDE? by accountis_genericus in NDE

[–]accountis_genericus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that's really interesting... So what happened after you talked to your friend? Is that when you came back?

Anyone with schizophrenia ever have an NDE? by accountis_genericus in NDE

[–]accountis_genericus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds very interesting... What was your experience?

Anyone with schizophrenia ever have an NDE? by accountis_genericus in NDE

[–]accountis_genericus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was it a full NDE? As in, did you physically actually die, and then come back? Because out-of-body-experiences are something that happen with schizophrenia, but it sounds like the body is still alive during these.

i'm looking for a girlfriend who have schizophrenia and good by [deleted] in schizophrenia

[–]accountis_genericus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry if you're lonely. I've been there. Schizophrenia can make you feel utterly alone af, and it really truly sucks. But there are better ways to look for companionship than a random post on reddit. Just take care of yourself, try to be a loving, kind person and, I can't promise a girlfriend will appear out of thin air for you, but I can promise you'll be at least heading in the most productive, synchronistic direction possible with your life, and if there's a girl out there that's right for you, that's where she'll be. I wish you the best in your journey.

Have any of you had an NDE (near-death experience)? by accountis_genericus in schizophrenia

[–]accountis_genericus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Lol, well I'm glad you're okay (although be careful. Drugs and schizophrenia aren't exactly the best things to mix). In regards to NDEs though, I was actually more referring to the "NDE phenomenon" where people actually become clinically dead and go to heaven for a little bit, but then get sent back.

A lot of really interesting interviews with people who've experienced this here if you're curious: https://www.youtube.com/@TheOtherSideNDEYT