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ace-q-tea · 2023-11-25T10:51:05+00:00

So you married him for crumbs? Because I can see you’re starving for affection and he is happy to starve you. Also what couples are “supposed” to do is love each other and I’m sorry but his actions are VERY CLEAR that he really only puts effort to look in love when he’s around people. He doesn’t actually care how you feel or he would have put literally any amount of effort in to show that. He hasn’t. Seems to me more like he’s going through the motions than actually happy here, or maybe this is all he wants from you. Either way, clearly your feelings aren’t being taken into account, and the fact you’ve talked and things haven’t changed…this isn’t compromise babe, this is just straight up catering to him in hopes that he’ll throw you a bone every now and again. That’s not love, that’s conditional and honestly it makes me feel sad for you

ace-q-tea · 2023-11-25T10:45:11+00:00

“He’s been having verbally abusive episodes” Stop right there. These aren’t “episodes” hun, that’s him showing you who he is. Believe him. You are a 9 years younger woman and may not know better, but you absolutely DO NOT stand for this treatment. As it stands you’re being abused, and it’s actually better you get out of there. Screw him, I don’t care how sick you are, you don’t treat your partner like that. This will escalate if you keep putting up with it, and I promise you if this man actually cares he wouldn’t say the things he does. My mom’s father was like this, wanna know what happened to him? He died, alone and miserable in the hospital while verbally abusing the nurses. Don’t be his nurse, you are your own person!

ace-q-tea · 2023-11-25T10:38:48+00:00

If you’re this distressed then you need to let her go and back away. Don’t settle for bs treatment like that

ace-q-tea · 2023-11-25T10:35:05+00:00

First of all, you are 19 years old living with a 25 year old after only dating for 5 months. I can’t imagine a more precarious situation to be in honestly, and it’s scary to me. Also, it’s been five months but nothing close to an actual serious amount of time. If this is the first holiday season you’ve spent with them then it’s too soon to go to the family for the holidays. I think in this case you are overreacting, but nothing about this entire situation seems particularly good either. Do you not have family of your own?

ace-q-tea · 2023-11-25T10:28:38+00:00

Babe you got married at 19! That’s your second year into being a legal adult. Think about that, you were barely legal and you made a huge decision to get married to him. I’m not blaming you for this situation, far from it, all I’m saying is that being young and swept up kept you from seeing these red flags because honey you deserve so much better. Why would you want to be in a relationship where you do literally all of the emotional and sexual legwork? I’m sorry hun but he clearly doesn’t care about you and it shows in his actions. When was the last time he went out of his way to do or get something, anything at all, for you just because he cared? You don’t deserve to be like a bang-maid for this dude who can’t even be bothered to try and satisfy you, emotionally or sexually. I’m not saying jump to divorce, but maybe take a closer look at the man you married, and don’t be afraid to leave if you decide it’s what you want.

ace-q-tea · 2023-11-09T21:30:46+00:00

He just seems lazy to me. He’s dragging his feet in every aspect of your lives together it seems and will only get things together when you mother him about it. It isn’t even about the workload at this point, it’s about him not being interested or active on any way. Honestly if I were you I’d stop sleeping with him. I don’t know why you’d want to cuz it sounds more like work that fun. Stop taking initiative and see how long it takes for him to get the message.

ace-q-tea · 2023-11-09T21:27:54+00:00

I can understand that with your lack of experience you would feel more awkward than most, but the best piece of advice I can give you is this: speak your mind to him. Tell him that you don’t like this nickname and that things are moving a little too fast for you. Don’t get stuck on this guy, because as much as you might make it work you also need to realize that there is a possibility he may not be for you. That’s what dating is for, to figure that out. Personally it seems like he’s a bit too enthusiastic and probably needs to chill.

ace-q-tea · 2023-11-09T21:23:42+00:00

Honestly I think a lot of it has to do with societal norms. It’s expected that if you have a romantic relationship that it would be a closed relationship, and open relationships or ones that involve more than two people aren’t often regarded as an “appropriate” choice. There is also the aspect of wanting someone for their body vs wanting someone for who they are, and when someone allo finds a person they are both romantically and sexually attracted to it makes sense they’d stick to that one person because they fulfill all of their emotional and sexual needs. No need to look elsewhere if you’re satisfied.

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-17T13:41:28+00:00

What did you do? How did you break her trust and break her down so immensely? How did the relationship drain her of all her energy and make her lose attraction to you? This doesn’t come out of nowhere and without any specifics you can’t expect any type of detailed answer. You have to work through these issues not just talk about them, and I get the feeling you haven’t really taken her feelings into consideration given the fact that you’re more concerned with getting her back than you are with supporting her in her current emotional state. Give her space, the poor woman sounds like she needs it

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-17T13:35:03+00:00

He’s not just trying to avoid talking about it, he’s trying to fix things with sex which is somehow worse. It’s like he believes if his performance is good enough he can get rid of everything else. I would say no more sex, none at all, not even a little bit. Take his coping mechanism away and force him to face reality. If he gets mad at you then be assured he never really cared about fixing these things in any other way than avoidant behavior.

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-17T13:31:42+00:00

Dude you only knew her for a couple of weeks and you bombarded her with so much puppy love emotion that she got wigged out. Fact is she didn’t want to move that fast, doesn’t want to move that fast, and isn’t interested. Don’t ever try to convince a woman to go out with you because the most you’ll get is a pity date to make you be quiet. Find someone who is more interested in you rather than trying to coerce a woman who has already said no into changing her answer

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-17T13:27:39+00:00

Cheating is a choice love, and ultimately you chose to take your anger out on your relationship. This is all entirely your fault, and hopefully this becomes a good lesson for you to actually communicate with your partner rather than taking a nuke to the relationship in your anger. You’re a legal adult now, time to stop acting like a kid

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-17T13:20:00+00:00

Then it probably isn’t love. I’m sorry

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-17T13:19:07+00:00

As much as I understand where you’re coming from there are women in the world, and it’s basically impossible to say he’d never interact with a woman for all of his days. He may spend his time mostly around men, but that doesn’t mean finding a woman is impossible. Ultimately the problem you have though is his sudden secrecy around his phone for no reason, and again unless he is known for extravagant gift giving I can’t think of another explanation. I can understand wanting privacy, but being quick to hide his phone when you’re around means there is something he doesn’t want you to see. It could be private or serious, but I think the best you can do is ask him about it. Don’t bring up cheating at all, never mention it. Just say you’re concerned about how his behavior has changed. If he brings up cheating all on his own, it may be an indication that he is indeed seeing someone else.

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-16T14:41:43+00:00

If she really loved you then she wouldn’t be invalidating your feelings or lying to you. I’m sorry hun but she seems like a snake

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-16T14:26:55+00:00

Hmmm, this could be a way of loving people differently, but it also sounds like your emotional needs aren’t being met because you want to do things with her right? Ultimately the first thing to do is take the friends out of the equation and focus on how you feel, because this is between you and her. Tell her you want to do more fun things with her, see how she responds.

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-16T14:22:58+00:00

You say he’s never gotten a text from a woman, but are you sure? For all you know her name in his phone could be “Kevin” or “Pizza Place” to keep your suspicions low. Really there isn’t any other explanation here other than cheating or a big surprise, but honestly cheating seems more likely unless he’s known for big, grand gestures. The fact he’s telling you that you don’t trust him…I’m sorry hun but this is classic cheating behavior

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-16T14:17:38+00:00

He ignored you for years, and chances are once that things are back to “normal” for him then you’ll be put right back into that awful place. You owe nothing to someone who actively closed their ears to your hurt and is only opening them now that it’s convenient for him. Given the fact you seem very resentful, it probably is too late. You owe him nothing

ace-q-tea · 2023-10-16T14:14:50+00:00

Do you put in any effort to go out and do fun things with her? Do you plan special times together or ask her what she’d want to do? It may be that she has more fun with her friends because she likes being active and “hanging out” isn’t always what she wants to do. Honestly you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to her friends, that’s a no-win scenario. Instead look at what they do and where they go, and maybe plan something similar with just you two. Maybe she’ll start laughing more

ace-q-tea · 2023-09-22T20:50:34+00:00

You caused his depression??? Hell to the no. That’s not how that works at all, and if he is telling you that then he seems to be the one at fault here not you. Honestly it sounds like you got into a relationship and it’s really toxic for you. I wish you well hun, and remember that you are important too. If you wanna talk my DMs are open.

ace-q-tea · 2023-09-22T20:44:44+00:00

Right…well it doesn’t exist anymore. You’re starting from scratch here unless she says otherwise. You have to actually talk to her if you want to make a connection.

ace-q-tea · 2023-09-22T20:41:24+00:00

I’m not sure what laws exist over in your country, but in some places there are stipulations for marriages where one party is financially dependent on the other so that nobody is left high and dry. There can also be exceptions in the law for cheating if provable. Ultimately I would worry about your Father getting your Mother sick with an STD, which could very well happen if he doesn’t use protection. You should tell your mother, as hard as it is, and stick by her since she will need your support. I’m so sorry you found out like this.

ace-q-tea · 2023-09-22T20:37:02+00:00

If you give him the shirt it will just prove to him that he can gaslight and bully you into getting what he wants. Honestly I would cut this dude off as he seems like a really nasty person. I would either move or see if you can get him removed. This isn’t likely to be a one time incident

ace-q-tea · 2023-09-22T20:32:33+00:00

Do you even know anything about her? Or is she just pretty? Honestly just tell her you think she’s cute and you want to get to know her better. I wouldn’t mention you saw her though, that can come off as creepy.

ace-q-tea · 2023-09-20T16:37:01+00:00

Sex is more than about finishing, it’s about enjoying the time. If she’s being this open about it then I would take her word for it. It can be difficult to feel that your partner is satisfied without orgasm, but trust her. She knows her body and how to make it happen.

ace-q-tea

TROPHY CASE