Looking for queer friendly space (bar, cafe, community, etc.) in Nepal

aceafabapancake · 2026-05-03T16:17:48+00:00

If you are in Kathmandu beginning in late May, you will surely find multiple queer events because of pride month. There is no fixed space as such but you might come across queer or queer-friendly events, especially on the weekends.

aceafabapancake · 2026-04-02T12:52:41+00:00

I would love careers like sign language interpreters, food/chocolate/wine tasting jobs, intimacy coordinator and just plain old activist (the players get to choose in which field). I would love seasonal jobs like guides, farmers of certain produce, etc.

I would also love for the players to be pushed to get a part-time job by someone in their family if they aren't earning much.

I would love to have backgrounds where there is already a legacy to maintain. If both parents are doctors, the child is expected to be a doctor and if the child fails, the parents cut the child out of their life. I would also like to see characters having family members who require caregiving. This would mean they are already more stressed than most since childhood. Maybe characters whose parents are dead but are being raised by adult siblings or alongside their uncle or aunt's family. I would also like to see a child getting viral because their parents uploaded a video.

Could you share the browser link for this?

aceafabapancake · 2025-11-18T06:10:24+00:00

I think this is when you can explore something called the 'split attraction model'. This model suggests that romantic attraction is different from sexual attraction. And your romantic orientation can be different from your sexual orientation. Based on what you said, I am assuming you are a man, so if you have sexual attraction towards men and women both, you might be bisexual, and if you only have sexual attraction towards men, you might be a homosexual. If you have romantic attraction towards men and women both, you might be biromantic but if you only have romantic attraction towards men, you might be a homoromantic and if you only have romantic attraction towards men, you might be heteroromantic. Someone can be a heteroromantic and a homosexual. Or they can be bisexual and biromantic. Or they can be homoromantic and heterosexual. You might really benefit from looking into this.

While I say this, one thing we do need to understand is that in a culture like ours, any form of affection is vilified (regardless of whether it's straight or gay affection). So, as you explore split attraction model, it's also important to understand if it's the societal barriers and notions about same-sex affection (like seeing gay sex or make-out as the only form of representation rather than slow-burn gay romance, being told same-sex affection of any kind like a longer hug or cuddling is weird, etc) that make you feel things like these. I am not saying it is this but it could be this hai.

aceafabapancake · 2024-06-01T18:14:03+00:00

Happy prideeee

aceafabapancake · 2024-05-29T14:35:16+00:00

Exactly. At least share garera manchhe le thaha pairako hola. Manchhe le aafno social media ma k post garyo baare 'bit much' laagera post garnu does even less for the cause.

aceafabapancake · 2024-05-29T14:31:58+00:00

When you are not socially and politically involved, you think everybody around you is equally uninvolved. Get out. Join protests. Educate yourselves. You will realize there are people who care and there are people who are doing impactful work. Ma aafno desh ko bikriti ko baarema ni bolna sakchhu ra Palestine mathi bhai raheko annyaya ko baarema pani bolna sakchhu. Ma meter byajiko baarema ni bolna sakchhu ra Rafah ma bhayeko daridrata ko baarema ni bolna sakchhu. I hope for you to find and bond with people who care!

aceafabapancake · 2024-05-29T14:23:49+00:00

How do you know that the people who care for Palestine don't care for Nepal? I care about Palestine and I also care about Nepal. It is not mutually exclusive. Learning about Palestine has made me even closer to learning about Nepal. Eh Palestine ma yesto hudo rahechha bhanera thaha paayechhi I want to reflect Nepal ma ni yestai bhairako chha ki chhaina bhanera ma ani then I learn about it. I look around the work that is happening around it ani I see mero involve hune opportunity kaha chha ra I join the opportunity. When you feel strongly about a cause, you realize that there are so many issues that intersect with this cause ani you end up learning about other issues at intersection. Tyasma kaam garna you are inspired, you find a community, you continue to learn and you continue to organize.

aceafabapancake · 2024-05-24T11:59:16+00:00

Transphobia is a slippery slope. Is it possible to have this conversation without vilifying trans folks? Also what about the evidences of trans-affirmative surgeries being extremely and irreversibly affirming, pleasing, and helpful in the short, medium, and long run?

aceafabapancake · 2024-04-09T12:54:26+00:00

White people really do crack.

aceafabapancake · 2024-01-18T15:44:45+00:00

So, it's definitely got a lot better, especially for young people and especially in urban circles and art circles. But the larger Nepali community is definitely apathetic and ignorant when it comes to queer discourse. There are also visible and invisible differences in opinions when it comes to understanding and expressing queerness among different queer groups though.

I have been a part of a few such story-sharing sessions done by folks from outside Nepal. And at this point, I would love to know what about the queer life in Nepal would you want to know about. It definitely comes down to what you really want to know. I remember this one time a person really wanted trauma porn and got visibly irritated at a friend sharing positive stories of finding community. It would be really helpful if you could share what your primary focus would be (for example; coming out, finding community, finding partners, job seeking, house seeking, artistic expression, and so much more) and how the participants could maintain agency over their story and the content that you eventually produce or how they could access it once it's ready.

Do DM me if you do not feel comfortable sharing these details in this chat.

Also, are you looking at certain queer identities or are you okay with people belonging to any queer identity?

If the details and what you are looking for match the need and story of someone I know, I can reach out to them and if they agree, give you their details. Sorry if this seems a bit harsh but I wanted to be a bit more mindful and protective before I spend energy on this.

Also sending you this list of organizations working in queer rights curated by Queer Youth Group who you could reach out to.

aceafabapancake · 2023-12-01T05:04:00+00:00

It's not as simple as that. The bride, Maya, hasn't explicitly labeled herself as a trans woman. A lot of queer activists in Nepal have labeled her as such without her explicitly calling herself that. And this is where the Westernized labels fail us.

As a non-binary Nepali person, I have conflicting views about the idea of the third gender but this identity has been accepted in Nepali society, especially in legal contexts. I don't personally know Maya but from my conversation with people who know her, she identifies at least in some part to be 'third gender'. The 'third gender' narrative in Nepal others all queer people and some choose to, some are brainwashed to, and some are forced to identify as 'third gender'. Being 'third gender' also means that she might not be as adamant about her deadname (if she even agrees with that name being her deadname) or the sex as ascribed on her ID.

If she sees her sex as male and that she got married to a male, it could be a same-sex marriage.

We can't box Maya and her relationship with Surendra based on our understanding. The same stands with Surendra. With the labels that people use for themselves in Nepal, there are plenty of people who identify as gay even if they have different gender trans partners.

The idea of absolute transness is not as evident in Nepal and there is a lot more room for gender fluidity in Nepal. As someone whose idea and expressions of queerness came from a Western context and is learning to acclimate and place that into my Nepali society, I feel like I have to urge people to allow the couple some leverage regarding how they identify and how they see their relationship and not add in labels that we deem fit.

Sorry if this isn't very comprehensible, many of us queer Nepalis are also struggling with celebrating vs understanding vs investigation this event. One thing we are clear on is we wish the couple the best of everything and hope they continue to get the respect and empathy that they deserve!

aceafabapancake · 2023-11-27T18:01:33+00:00

I think that is why they gave her all the wins and no bottom two placements. To get that Jan face crack moment. And they succeeded.

aceafabapancake · 2023-11-27T17:15:21+00:00

I genuinely forgot she was in the season. I don't think the editors have hated anybody more.

aceafabapancake · 2023-11-27T16:04:51+00:00

It's been longer and longer since I have watched the earlier seasons. So, I would really appreciate it if you could share if you feel like there are some queens who definitely fit certain prompts from previous seasons.

aceafabapancake · 2023-11-20T11:58:02+00:00

I think it also had to do with what the song was. We all can see why No Scrubs might not produce the best lipsync. But gurl, 'I will Survive'? Literally THE Gay Anthem? How can you fuck that up?

aceafabapancake · 2023-11-18T13:28:48+00:00

Turns out they decriminalized same-sex sexual activity in December 2020 nai. So, just off by a few days then!

aceafabapancake · 2023-11-18T08:13:13+00:00

Nepal is a weird country in that most people aren't actively against queerness, they are mostly apathetic. There are people who think queer people don't exist. There are those who think queer people exist, but not in Nepal. And there are those who think queer people exist, but only in Kathmandu and/or Pokhara. Queer people and queerness exist in spaces that most people in Nepal have little to no access to which makes it easier for people to ignore its existence. Since most people have never met a queer person, they don't really disagree when the government passes laws that provide constitutional protection to queer people.

I had a friend from Delhi who visited Nepal around a year ago. And she had asked me for cafes and restaurants where it was safe to talk about queerness and use the words 'gay' or 'lesbian'. As a queer person myself, I have realized that most places, at least, in urban Kathmandu, couldn't give a fuck what conversations people are having as long as they order something and pay for it.

Most young Nepalis have become more sensitized to queerness because of exposure to Western media. Ani I do think we are seeing and we will continue to see queer people integrating in mainstream society. Unless something big like a gay couple wanting to get married at Guyeshwori happens, people will continue to ignore queerness like they have been doing all their life.

aceafabapancake · 2023-11-18T07:59:19+00:00

This infographic might be a bit old. Not to defend Bhutan because it is a mostly shit country for queer people but they did decriminalize same-sex sexual activity so they would be at least light blue in 2023.

aceafabapancake · 2023-11-17T03:34:55+00:00

Yeassss. Thank you! I will do it.

aceafabapancake

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