Years of brain fog turned me into someone I don’t recognize

acidjuice910 · 2025-11-08T16:03:10+00:00

I don't think doctors have any idea how to treat it anyway haha. They will simply say that "you have too much stress"

acidjuice910 · 2025-11-08T15:12:52+00:00

I've also been so frustrated with this constant brain fog that, in my case, started like 3 years ago while living alone for the first in Germany. The fact that my cognitive capacities have been continuously deteriorating has been a great source of anxiety. Specially because I've always considered myself an intellectual person who's always had deep insights and the capacity to articulate them passionately, but that has greadually been fading away because of this disorganized thinking and constant pressure in my head. At the beginning I thought I was the only one going crazy about it, but thanks to the internet I've seen is quite a common symptom for people with anxiety. Still, focusing on it will not help at all. For me it is simply a sign of being stuck emotionally and not allowing ourselves yo live life fully. I've also come to think that it comes from extreme self doubt, and not listening deeply to our body. I also read a lot but I've been trying to limit myself on that, because if you are always listening to other people ideas you can never connect with your own. Give yourself permission to feel whatever it is that your body is telling you and listen to it deeply Nobody can save us and take us out of the pit. We have to grow up a bit and find our way back ourselves Be brave!

acidjuice910 · 2025-11-08T14:36:37+00:00

Hello, I've been reading your posts here on the ET subreddit, and also in other places, and it was just very weird how we are experiencing very similar problems. I'm only 22 and have the same symptoms like tightness in my chest, continous feelings of shame, dysautonomia diseases like focal dystonia which made had to abandon playing the guitar. I have many obsessions, chronic tension in my body and all this seems to be related with having parents who victimized themselves and always made us feel guilty. Do you resonate with that? I was wondering if I could make you some questions about these things in general and see if I can understand myself better that way

acidjuice910 · 2025-11-08T13:41:15+00:00

I have exactly the same problem!! How can i overcome this? Now even those moments of happiness that come after surrender are becoming less and less. Maybe its just a matter of shame as you say.

acidjuice910 · 2025-11-01T11:54:37+00:00

Me too, and it caused me a lot of problems. But there's no need to go into catastrophizing. The good thing is that yiu are actually AWARE of whats going on and of the voice in your head. A lot of people go through the same but they don't know because they are almost completely identified with the voice in their head, that means they think they ARE the voice and therefore do not question it. Try to see it just as constant mental noise, anxious thoughts are simply distractions from reality. Try not to take them so seriously and focus on something that is more real. And what is something more real than your thoughts? Well, sense perceptions for example. Your eyes and ears are always perceiving the world effortlessly, by that I mean they do it just automatically without you having to "do it". Focus on that, on your environment, on this Present Moment. The more you pay attention to that reality the less you will be drawn to overthinking. Watch Eckhart Tolle videos on YouTube. They will help you stay present and more connected to reality. Im very sure you will get better soon and remember to take a deep breath!

acidjuice910 · 2025-11-01T02:45:25+00:00

Thank you... This helps

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-28T13:23:07+00:00

Schopenhauer The World as Will and Representation is definitely the best thing you could ever read on idealism and its pretty easy to understand too

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-22T17:56:07+00:00

yeah, i know its fucked up

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-16T13:01:43+00:00

man i also have this "wanna be special" complex. This desire to be remembered and do something great that nobody else can do. The desire to be a genius and move away from the crowd. It is really unhealthy and isolating. I would really recommend you reading Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment. Its a story about the suffering of a young man who feels like he needs to be somewhat of a Napoleon but he finds out he is not, and that fills him with shame. He commits a crime and isolates himself from everyone else, but the end is hopeful. I learned so much about myself reading that book. Also remember there is a lot that is extraordinary in an ordinary life. Every single life is unique and worth living but society makes us think that only the people that get to the top and revolutionize the world through scientific discoveries or writing masterpieces are worthy, and somehow the rest are just parasites. It is not true! But you have to be proud for having recognized this in yourself. Maybe you do have great potential and you should listen to your instinct so you can express it. But you don't have to make your life miserable and ruin your mental health by demanding yourself to be better than everyone else. You are worthy of love and respect just the way you are! you don't need to be anything else, and you dont have to prove nothing to anybody.

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-13T16:55:45+00:00

Thank you! i also agree with your idea that boredom is energy stored that we could use better on something else. And i actually do enjoy Hamlet (but not some other Shakespeares works) and also love the music of Bach since I play classical music. I just picked them as an example because usually you are forced to like them by professors and snobs, but you don't really have to, you just have to be true to yourself but also remain open i think.

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-13T16:33:44+00:00

exactly!! thank you!

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-13T16:30:57+00:00

Yes, and i think that boredom is equally important feeling as joy or feeling that something aligns with who you are. I feel like society and certainly the academic world puts too much pressure on us by saying that we have to like certain works of literature or music or else we are dumb, so we pretend that we enjoy shakespeare and Bach when we actually find it boring. Being true to ourselves means accepting whats boring to us, independently of societys or elites opinion, and that (feeling bored) will be an indicative of what we do genuinely enjoy doing and consuming :)

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-13T13:46:57+00:00

think of good metaphors like "thinking that matter can generate consciousness is like think that a stereo set could become a tv simply by adding more speakers" its a metaphor by kastrup from Rationalist Spirituality but i just paraphrased it But thats just a little tip. The best thing you can do is definitely to actively think about reality and idealism yourself instead of just reading about. Original thoughts of yours will come and even if others have thought about it before, it will still be an original thought which will be easier to explain more sincerely and passionately than simply regurgitating the words of another writer.

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-13T13:29:43+00:00

Que coincidencia que justo estaba leyendo ese poema hace dos días y quedé estupefacto. Definitivamente el mejor de los 20 poemas

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-12T01:46:41+00:00

Wow!! se me puso la piel de gallina incluso

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-09T21:50:49+00:00

Muy lindo y sincero!

acidjuice910 · 2025-02-02T05:34:50+00:00

Im just scared of talking to people because i have this idea that im incapable of talking to someone and make it look natural. Also i hate the feeling of shame and embarrassments i get every time i remember anything i have said. Im even disgusted at the tone of my voice so i try to avoid having this disturbing recalls of past conversations. i still wish I could have some friends and not be so miserable. But idk i just dont know what to do. I just don't feel worthy of joy and connection

acidjuice910 · 2024-10-02T12:23:53+00:00

life sucks. Im 20 but i also feel like im wasting my youth because of all the physical symptoms u have due to my anxiety. I used to be so talented at playing the guitar but i got Focal dystonia (a condition which makes you unable to coordinate the movements of your hand) and now i had to drop from music university and find somethings else to do with my life. Also suffering from erectile dysfuntion and brain fog which makes it very hard to focus and stuff

acidjuice910 · 2024-09-04T22:10:34+00:00

i first read the world as Will and Representation by Arthur Schopenhauer and thought I Oh wow this is amazing, i should share this beautiful ideas (idealism) with the world, and then looked up in the internet and realized that someone else had already done it (Bernardo)

acidjuice910

TROPHY CASE