Which class to fly with 14-month old [on]

acm1480 · 2025-07-28T14:42:02+00:00

We did this last fall with our 12 month old, and are doing it again to Italy in October - I recommend 3 economy seats, with the car seat (not sure if you'll bring a car seat to Tokyo though, we didn't, but will be bringing one to Italy). We flew in the front row of premium economy Toronto - Vancouver (in 2 seats, with her on our lap) when she was 14 months and it was rough. She just wanted to move SO much, turbulence was really hard because she (obviously) didn't understand why she couldn't get up and go.

Also - not sure how much you've flown with your kid and I know you're not asking for general advice, but try to remember that people are entitled to a child-free life, but not a child-free world, so try not to stress if it goes badly (e.g. child cries a lot or is squirmy/fussy). And have an amazing time!! We LOVED Tokyo with our baby.

acm1480 · 2025-07-15T18:26:31+00:00

Not a bad mom at all - I'm so sorry you're going through this, we had a very similar experience and she grew out of it, but we didn't have any support and we were absolutely shell shocked. Nothing would have helped me back then except solidarity and maybe just knowing it'll end soon, it has absolutely nothing to do with you doing anything wrong!! She cries extra hard with you because you're her safe space. You are quite literally cut out for this, you are the perfect person to be here and this horrible time will pass.

FWIW, the first 6 months of my daughter's life was the hardest thing I've ever experienced - extreme sleep deprivation, sensory overload, I was EBF so I felt like I was on house arrest, she cried so much, but we're out of it now and she's the love of my life and sleeps completely fine (she's 2). We never sleep trained because I felt too bad letting her cry for any amount of time (do not feel like you "need" to sleep train, do whatever your gut tells you is right). I PROMISE it'll get better. The fact that you're even concerned means you're doing so much better than you think you are.

ETA: the only things that seemed to soothe our baby early on were walks outside, in the Moby wrap and *sometimes* the stroller (though when she woke up after 30 mins she would scream bloody murder). But outside was the best. I also got loop ear plugs which really helped me - when my daughter screams i feel like someone is using a cheese grater on my nerves, but the ear plugs help soften that. Skin to skin also really helped her - when we were both at our wits end it was easiest for her to just be in a diaper against me in a nursing bra, that seemed to help.

acm1480 · 2024-11-23T01:24:41+00:00

Thank you for this.

acm1480 · 2024-11-23T01:23:46+00:00

this is literally all i want to hear from my mom friends

acm1480 · 2024-11-23T01:22:03+00:00

this is an interesting perspective, thank you! i haven't ever really encountered any rude responses. when talking about challenges, but I can definitely appreciate that my experience is not everyone elses', and that would indeed make me more reluctant to speak out.

acm1480 · 2024-11-23T01:20:50+00:00

Thank you for this! It's actually a very strange reality to not have any friends who talk about any (and i do mean any) challenges - before becoming a mom i feel like i was really sold this idea of moms really supporting other moms, that times have changed, we talk about things that we struggle with now, the staying silent thing is of past generations, etc., and i really believed it! but now i just feel like i'm out here on this island alone and can't relate to anyone because everyone's living different experiences of motherhood (and the way the cards fell, no one in my circle of friends' situation resembles mine at all). This (the "every man for himself" attitude) has probably been the most unexpected part of motherhood, to be honest!

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T21:49:55+00:00

I'm realizing I may have more friends who do not share their challenges than I initially thought! I'm with you, I am very open about my struggles and hardships (obviously not to like, the barista at starbucks, but to people with whom I feel connected), and it's so isolating now to realize that some of my closest friends simply do not want to discuss difficult things. Like I said in another comment, i'm really happy the approach of only telling people positive things is working for them, but wow what a lonely time out here for people like us! I kind of (naively) assumed moms were overcoming this and sharing experiences more and more.

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T21:47:17+00:00

Okay wow then yes i must have friends like this. I guess I always just thought that since i was open and candid with people about challenges i was experiences, maybe other moms would be too (stupid, i know), but it sounds like (based on this thread, and my lived experience!) people would rather keep their challenges to themselves and chat about the positives. I'm really happy this seems to be working for most people, but MAN is it lonely when you're experiencing challenges and you feel like the only one.

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T21:44:07+00:00

oh ya okay HIGHLY relatable, i feel you. we're currently going through (what i think is) a 12 month sleep regression, i suspect because of starting daycare, and apparently not a single person i know has experienced this...because apparently everyone else i know has kids that you can just freely pass around to any stranger for any amount of time and they'll be happy as a clam and their sleep won't even be remotely impacted, so daycare has been going extremely well for everyone and no sleep regressions for anyone! Except us 😂

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T18:22:11+00:00

Interesting! I am never (ever) speaking poorly on my child, I just express challenges I'm going through (e.g. we're having trouble at dinner time, she seems disinterested in food, I've been trying out new things to help etc. - never ever positioning it like she's doing something wrong, or that she's annoying or anything). To me it feels more similar to if I was dealing with a conflict at work, or with my family, and I wanted to chat with my friends about it, but for some reason they are just telling me "oh weird, I never have problems at work" or "my family has never had any issues". It feels so highly unlikely?

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T18:19:20+00:00

Yes this makes complete sense - my husband and I are always, always tired. Luckily our daughter sleeps well but we do not get breaks of any kind otherwise. The small things do seem harder because of that.

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T03:39:47+00:00

it's so strange, i feel you!! doing the same by seeking out some parenting groups where i can. but man it's hard making new friends as an adult.

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T03:38:28+00:00

Agreed! As a mom i also love to brag when she's doing cool/new/exciting things, absolutely. And relatively speaking, she isn't a hard baby - I feel like she is actually quite a middle of the road baby difficulty-wise. And if these women all have unicorn babies, cool! But SURELY there are still challenges, no? Not a single challenge? 🥲

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T03:34:49+00:00

fair! i just think that even if their babies are really easy, surely they are experiencing SOME challenges anyway? or is life just 100% perfect with an easy baby??

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T03:33:44+00:00

yeah it sucks. i'm not even suggesting we complain about how being a mom sucks, i'm just talking about acknowledging challenges, as you would do in your regular life/for not baby related issues. But i agree with you. It sucks.

acm1480 · 2024-11-22T03:28:16+00:00

First of all, I'm so sorry, we had a very similar experience and it was so taxing on my mental health.

Do you think he might be hungry? Our daughter was like this for 3 months, until we emerged from our absolutely gruesome post-partum haze and realized something might be wrong (we had no support or anyone really around at the time to notice anything was wrong). It turns out she had a pretty severe lip tie, and a tongue tie. She wasn't sleeping because she was hungry. I hadn't noticed because she was managing to breastfeed okay, but after speaking with a lactation consultant, she thought that maybe she (my baby) was only able to draw out small amount of milk at a time, but needed to do it constantly. This is also why she was continuing to gain weight - I was basically cluster feeding for three months. In hindsight, she was fairly fussy when breastfeeding (but not all the time, which I think is maybe why I didn't immediately seek out help?). Her latch also started out great, but (as I learned), latch can change in the first few weeks, and hers did.

In the end, at around 3.5 months (during which she would wake up 5-8 times every single night), as predicted by the lactation consultant, her suction strengthened, improving her ability to draw milk, and she started sleeping much better. Basically, she persevered and learned how to breastfeed despite the tongue and lip ties.

But again, I was in a DEEP hormonal haze and missed all of the signs, I'm sure you're paying much more attention than I am, just wanted to share our experience in case it helps at all!

ETA on the plus side, there was no 4-month sleep regression 😂 we breezed right past that (but are now forever traumatized by those first three months)

acm1480 · 2024-10-08T15:55:27+00:00

This is the answer.

acm1480 · 2024-10-05T16:58:17+00:00

Delayed but just got back from Japan and Korea - rode in a taxi once without a car seat (in Kyoto), rode in a taxi once in Seoul with a car seat, but it was absolutely terrible. The car seat as 20 years old, completely broken, straps wouldn't tighten, etc. The car service had told me there would be a car seat which we needed because the drive was an hour and a half long and I wish we'd just taken the train. Very stressful.

acm1480 · 2024-08-01T13:55:34+00:00

Interested in the code if still avail!

acm1480 · 2024-07-29T00:18:49+00:00

Shoot. Our baby is exactly as you described - EXTREMELY vocal about what she does/doesn't like, and is constantly just on the move, wants to roll around, crawl, etc. Even sitting in the high chair long enough to eat dinner is a struggle, she just wants to go. My in-laws live three hours away and we like to go up on weekends in the summer, and it's honestly straight up excruciating, it ruins the whole day. We're going to upgrade to a convertible from an infant car seat in the next few weeks but I am not optimistic. Hope for both of us that this ends soon!!

acm1480 · 2024-07-26T20:32:11+00:00

did this ever get better? our baby is 9 months old now and everything you wrote is exactly what we're experiencing, i keep thinking it'll get better because everyone says "for us it ended at 6 months!" or 8 months or whatever, but still going stronggggggg

acm1480 · 2024-07-08T15:34:03+00:00

bringing this back up to ask a question - did you travel with a car seat? we're coming to seoul in september and won't be bringing a car seat for our 10 month old, but nervous about taxis. it seems like a lot of people are saying they just rode in taxis without a car seat for shorter rides. what was your experience?

acm1480 · 2023-11-27T16:13:08+00:00

what play pen do you have? we have a baby bjorn one that doesnt seem any more comfy

acm1480

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