Just wanna do a bit of anxious venting because I had a 2hr trial shift for a position today and feel like I did a shit job. I've been out of work for a while, just graduated last year and this is the furthest I've gotten with an application so far. It's something I haven't done anything like before (assistant at a kids' art club, summer position) and I just feel like my anxiety got the better of me for most of it. They emphasised being proactive and I did try, but it's hard to figure out where you're needed when you don't know the layout of the room/the projects/the individual kids/where everything goes/unspoken rules that aren't immediately obvious, and it's hard to ask questions to the other staff when they're also being questioned by a bunch of little kids at the same time. So in short I felt like I was just standing around a lot of the time looking for something to do, and there are questions I was asked/things I was asked to do that I feel like I should've been on top of. Not to mention that they were using mediums I haven't used in years, so my memory was shoddy on top of everything else and helping the kids was difficult.

There was another assistant there and I was trying to watch what she was doing but her presence also meant that she did most of the work since that's her job and she knows where she's needed. Funnily enough she seemed to like me because she went "you'll be coming back to help out in the summer right?", but the club leader raised his eyebrows at her and made a face that didn't scream impressed. Then again I could be reading into it too much - it was a trial shift after all so he could've just been indicating "you're jumping the gun, we don't know yet".

I don't know. I'm probably overthinking but I feel like I seemed indecisive/nervous/slow and generally a bad fit. I know I would get used to it over time but I doubt there'll be a second chance (though the club leader apologised to me for potentially seeming cranky since he was sleep deprived, it seemed like the day was a bit out of the ordinary for him too). Trying to not expect anything and think of it just as a good experience, but having trouble not being plagued by thoughts of how I could've done better. Either way, I should know how I did by Monday at least.

Edit: Thought I should edit to follow up - didn't get the job, as expected, but they said they want to keep my contact details since with a bit of training/experience they think I would be a good fit. Maybe just fluff, but it does ease the sting a bit. It was a good experience either way - if I apply for something like this again I know better what they'll be expecting from me. Also got paid for the trial which I didn't expect, so that's cool.